Maybe you, like me, say and do things you later regret. Lately I've been reminded of times I was simply a jerk. I said or did things for shock value or to draw attention to myself, only to be marginalized or looked at dumbly. Now what?
After reading helpful books on pride and humility* it has become apparent that the culprit is pride (surprise! Not.). And, thanks to one of my biblical counseling friends, I can ask the question, "Where's the sin?" There are times I have legitimately sinned in word and/or deed by being unkind, impatient, selfish, inconsiderate. At other times I am simply me, my sinful self, without a specific sin against another. Either they just don't like me or a public setting is inappropriate for an apology (which would draw more attention to myself, not less). That's when I am learning to "let it go."
This is where the unseen flow chart comes in. Sin or no sin? If sin, acknowledge my wrong and Jesus' complete forgiveness, confess the sin to myself and others, walk in repentance by God's grace. No specific sin against another? (This is harder because I still burn from shame.) Admit my pride and desire to be like or admired. Confess it as sin to God and ask for His grace to change. Acknowledge that some people simply won't like me--because it's not about me (surprise! Not.)--and move on, looking for opportunities to practice humility by loving and serving others.
As I studied humility, these phrases consternated me, "humble yourself," "humble your souls." According to Scripture either we humble ourselves or God does it for us. So how? How do I humble myself?
Here are some things I learned--
The key is knowing God, knowing me. That is the central theme of Job chapters 38-41. Who am I? Really? And who is God? Is that evident in the way I speak, conduct myself, in my attitudes and actions. If others determine the greatness of God by what they see and hear in my life, what kind of God do I serve?
If I do not humble myself, God in His sovereign love and grace will reach down and do it for me. He's just that good. And it's one more way He's making me more like His precious Son, Jesus Christ.
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:1-13 NASB)
* From Pride to Humility by Stuart Scott, Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller to name a few
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| https://gabriellebrooke.files.wordpress.com/2013/06 |
After reading helpful books on pride and humility* it has become apparent that the culprit is pride (surprise! Not.). And, thanks to one of my biblical counseling friends, I can ask the question, "Where's the sin?" There are times I have legitimately sinned in word and/or deed by being unkind, impatient, selfish, inconsiderate. At other times I am simply me, my sinful self, without a specific sin against another. Either they just don't like me or a public setting is inappropriate for an apology (which would draw more attention to myself, not less). That's when I am learning to "let it go."
This is where the unseen flow chart comes in. Sin or no sin? If sin, acknowledge my wrong and Jesus' complete forgiveness, confess the sin to myself and others, walk in repentance by God's grace. No specific sin against another? (This is harder because I still burn from shame.) Admit my pride and desire to be like or admired. Confess it as sin to God and ask for His grace to change. Acknowledge that some people simply won't like me--because it's not about me (surprise! Not.)--and move on, looking for opportunities to practice humility by loving and serving others.
As I studied humility, these phrases consternated me, "humble yourself," "humble your souls." According to Scripture either we humble ourselves or God does it for us. So how? How do I humble myself?
Here are some things I learned--
- Read the Bible, praying for a greater awareness of my personal limits and God's immense greatness. “Do not fear, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel; I will help you,” declares the Lord, “and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.(Isaiah 41:14)
- Grow in awareness of my personal responsibility and stop. Full. stop. when I've done my part.Stop seeking control of people and situations; wait to see what God will do. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently For the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:24-26)
- Grow in awareness of those around me--what are they feeling, seeing, hearing in this moment? Do they have specific needs? How can I express love and concern (within my personal bubble of responsibility)? Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus... (Philippians 2:3-5)
- Accept the fact that I am no better, greater, more important than anyone else and vice versa. I am simply me with the gifts, resources, and abilities God has given. They are themselves, wholly and totally, with the gifts, resources and abilities God has given them. For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? (1 Corinthians 4:7)
The key is knowing God, knowing me. That is the central theme of Job chapters 38-41. Who am I? Really? And who is God? Is that evident in the way I speak, conduct myself, in my attitudes and actions. If others determine the greatness of God by what they see and hear in my life, what kind of God do I serve?
If I do not humble myself, God in His sovereign love and grace will reach down and do it for me. He's just that good. And it's one more way He's making me more like His precious Son, Jesus Christ.
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:1-13 NASB)
* From Pride to Humility by Stuart Scott, Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller to name a few
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