Perhaps You Should Get Out More

One of my favorite movie scenes is from The Count of Monte Crisco (2002). Edmond Dantes swims to safety after escaping an island prison only to encounter a band of pirates. He engages in a knife fight and releases his captive, rumbling, "Perhaps you should get out more."

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The idea is appealing--especially at this time of year in the American Midwest. I'm tired of snow, ice and cold and would love (love!) to get out more. But as I thought about, there's more to it than just getting out there.

In our Christian life, we need to not only get out there, we need to "be" out there. Too many of us spend month after month, year after year in training, but fail to use it. We call ourselves Christians, we hang out with Christians, we go to church and look the part, but we struggle with intermixing who we are with what we do. Too often we give in to fear of what others would think/say, fear of being rejected, of failing, of  __________ (fill in the blank). We create unrealistic standards for others, live with unfulfilled expectations, and live in a world of constant disappointment and sabotage.

What we need is to simply "get out more." We need to practice what we read (Hebrews 5:14); to do what we know. We carry a lot of "but's" in our back pocket: excuses, experiences and reasons for disobedience. But the life of the Christian is a life "lived by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20) It is a  life crucified. It is a life whose excuses, reasons, experience and but's have been nailed to the cross. They have no power. They are not reality. They are vaporous fumes that blind us to the good works God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10, Hebrews 9:14).

We will not be filled with the Spirit, we will not walk by faith, we will not experience the abundant life Jesus came to give if we balk and waver in disobedience and rebellion. God's call is live out His love for us, His love for others, and our love for Him. We are to go. It is as we are "going" that we make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20).

If only we would "be"out more--living and speaking His Word--we would see wonderful, amazing things. It is as we go, as we live by faith, that we see God heal the lost soul, fill the discouraged heart, buoy the drowning friend. In the end, we test and try the truth: perfect loves drives out fear.

For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.

For we do not commend ourselves again to you, but give you opportunity to boast on our behalf, that you may have an answer for those who boast in appearance and not in heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; or if we are of sound mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.

Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:7-21

Kumquats!

It's easy to take ourselves too seriously. We all need a spot of sunshine from time to time (especially when the weather is dank) and I think I've found it: kumquats! If you haven't tried one, or it's been awhile, here's a plug that kumquats will create a burst of sunshine.

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I gave one to a friend the other day who didn't know what to expect. "Eat it like a grape, but keep going!" She was hopeful as it burst in her mouth. Then unhappy. "Keep going. Keep going," I cheered. Then she smiled.

Obedience is like kumquats. We have a 3-year-old buddy who doesn't like to obey. His mommy isn't finding it much fun either. "Keep going. Keep going," we cheer.

Faith is like kumquats. We can't see where we're going; don't know what's on the other side. The men and women who have been there testify that God is faithful; His word is true. "Keep going. Keep going." With our eyes on Jesus, we can obey; when we fail, we have a place to go where confession is accepted and repentance is empowered. With our eyes on Jesus, we can keep going. Keep going.

If you need a little surprise; a pick-me-up for your day, stop and buy a kumquat or two. Share them. And smile.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval.

By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised. Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that, as many descendants as the stars of heaven in number, and innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore.

All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten son; it was he to whom it was said, “In Isaac your [n]descendants shall be called.” He considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type. By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau, even regarding things to come. By faith Jacob, as he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff. By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the exodus of the sons of Israel, and gave orders concerning his bones.

By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s edict. By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen. By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of the blood, so that he who destroyed the firstborn would not touch them. By faith they passed through the Red Sea as though they were passing through dry land; and the Egyptians, when they attempted it, were drowned.

By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days. By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.

And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.

And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 11-12:3)

Defending Your Marriage in Ministry

Here's a jump-start on Valentine's Day. I don't know how to say it more delicately so here goes:

Men, there are needy men who admire your wife. Women, there needy women who watch your husband. They are not seeing the tousle-headed, morning-breath person who leaves dirty socks on the floor. They are seeing the spiffy, get-up-and-go-to-church-with-a-Colgate-smile person. This is not the man or woman you live with (granted).

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Said another way, Men, your wife may be one of those needy women looking at other men. Women, your husband may be one of those needy men looking at other women.

The way you love and treat your spouse reflects your love and respect for our Savior. Read it again. The way you love and treat your spouse reflects your love and respect for our Savior. If Jesus was your spouse, would you talk to Him that way? Talk about Him that way? Treat Him that way? You are the first line of defense for your marriage. If you aren't loving and serving and caring--if you aren't the best deal on the planet for your spouse--you stand to lose a great deal. Your marriage and the way your live with your spouse is a better reflection of your spiritual health than any other ministry.

This does not (NOT) mean that you are at fault if your spouse has committed adultery. We make choices and live with the consequences. That spouse made a choice. God allowed it. And I cannot express  in words how sorry I am for your loss and chaos. God hates divorce because He loves people.

For that reason, those of us who are married need to take one another seriously. If we love and serve the Lord, we will seek to love and serve our spouse biblically: men will love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. Women will submit to and follow their husbands the way the Church is called to submit to and follow Christ (Ephesians 5:24-25).

So what does that look like in ministry? I hope many of these are self-evident:

1) Love God first and foremost. When God is my priority, I spend time with Him--reading His Word daily and praying. By living to please Him we fulfill our design in all parts of life and He meets needs we didn't know we had! (Matthew 6:33). You and I are also more attractive to our spouse as we draw close to the Lord. There's something irresistibly sexy (if I may) about a godly man or woman--especially within marriage!

2) Love your mate.  Don't check out already. This seems obvious so let me ask, how does your spouse know you love him/her? God showed us His love by giving His Son. He gave. He sacrificed. He continues to give in tangible and intangible ways (Romans 8:32). So how (or what) have you given your spouse recently that was costly? Time? Attention? Thoughtfulness? A personalized gift?

3) Stand by your man--or woman. Literally. Women, sit with your husband in church and at gatherings. Husbands, sit with your wife during worship services and small group. Needy people are watching and interacting. Again, that doesn't make them bad, but they are looking for a place to belong. Let them belong with both of you.

4) Give the same message. If someone were to ask either of you a question, the answer should be the same regardless of whom they ask. If you know your husband/wife would disagree, ask for time and confer privately. Others need to see you make unified decisions-and you need to practice submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

5) Serve together. Yes, you are individuals and you probably have different gifts. Use them to make a unified contribution to your local church and community, not separate ones. Believers form incredible bonds of friendship as they serve together--that's the way God intended it (Ephesians 4:13). Don't squander the opportunity to grow with your spouse (or make provision for someone else to form that relationship in your place).

6) Don't serve the opposite sex as an individual. There are women looking for (and thinking they need) a surrogate spiritual  husband. Some men are looking for appreciate, attractive surrogate wives. To serve someone of the opposite gender without the very real, physical presence of your spouse should shout, "Warning! Warning!" even if it's done in public. Guard the length and depth of conversation with members of the opposite sex (Proverbs 4:23).

7) Follow your God-given roles and responsibilities. Sometimes (many times?) it seems easier to just do what needs to be done. But that's not what honors God. Our trust is evident in our willingness to obey His design and commands, leaving the results to Him. Men lead. Women follow. It's not wrong. It's not bad. It's counter-cultural. Functioning within our roles and responsibilities shows His glory, not ours (which is paltry and flaky at best).

8) Speak well of one another. When you speak poorly of your spouse, it makes other men/women feel sorry for them (really!). Women will sympathize with your husband; men will sympathize with your wife. Your spouse will appear more long-suffering and forbearing than you realize because they live with you: the one who's complaining (Philippians 2:14-15). Keep faults where they belong: in the loving, caring context of your life together.

Your spouse is a "one another." The closest one another you have. As a husband or wife, you have an obligation and calling to keep your relationship pure and protect it.

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.(Ephesians 5:15-33 NASB)