The Ride of a Lifetime

I reached for the metal triangle holds on the park swing and gave a push. Soft, cushy fingers grasped the taught chains, elbows tensed, and a squeal filled the air.  "This is love," echoed in my head, "not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10). Pause. "This is love." Love is active. Love is pushing a swing. Love is preparing a meal. Love is listening. God loved. God gave.

 

The action, the love, had little to do with the fellow in the swing. All he did was ask. God's love for me has little (nothing actually) to do with my earning or deserving it. He loves because He is love. He is defined by love. Without partiality. He is. Love.

God's love is constant, eternal, unlimited, unconditional. Why then do we struggle to take hold of it? The apostle Paul pointed to suffering. Suffering, our own or that of others, can easily misdirect our focus. Rather than trusting and looking to God for wisdom and strength, we question His love(Ephesians 3:13-14).

We look for miraculous intervention in a specific situation and fail to acknowledge the miraculous intervention that has already taken place: God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.... He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him freely give us all things?" (Romans 5:12, 8:32).

God loves. He continues to love. Could He change the circumstances? In a heartbeat. Could He remove people from my life? No question. But "as for God, His way is perfect" (Psalm 18:30). The one thing more impossible than circumstance or people is the human heart. What turns a heart to worship and trust God alone? Only broken idols and withered dreams. What turns a life of self-gratification to Godly contentment? Only emptiness and refilling.

Just as human love is received through acknowledgment of the gift, spiritual love is received through faith. God has expressed His love. It is ours to ask, grab the chains of the swing and hold on for the ride of a lifetime. "In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."

"Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.
For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,  to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."(Ephesians 3:13-21 NKJV).

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?  Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.  Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:

“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:31-39, NKJV)

When People Hurt: Get Real Don't Get Lost

Our community has suffered loss these last weeks of May. Unexpected death. Young death. And there's been confusion. Grief. Guilt. Gut-wrenching sobs in the night. It's not just in Iowa. It's happening in Oklahoma. In Berlin, Germany. Balashikha, Russia. Fortaleza, Brazil. What's a person to do? A simple, single person?

One mother shared this blog (click here to read) in response and I found it refreshing, convicting, thought-provoking. In her words, "Please don't let me be this mom..."

There's an element of authenticity that is missing in our pews, Sunday school classes, pulpits and homes, the rawness of Jesus escapes our reading of the gospels and fingering of WWJD bracelets. We climb into our dappy-zone bubbles and look out at the world instead of living with our friends, neighbors and coworkers the way Jesus did--does. What would Jesus do?

May we suffer alongside the hurting, feeling their pain, indulging the loss, and sharing the hope of Christ in and through our weakness. Because He's just as real as this sin-cursed world. He's deeper, greater, higher than the despair; He knows the pain and was perfected by suffering. Suffering is not wrong or sinful or shameful. As we come alongside those we love we will be reminded of moments of our own despair, weakness and failure, struggling and wrestling against painful thoughts and emotions; embracing authenticity in place of hypocrisy. That's what Jesus would do. It's what He did. Jesus got real. By His grace, so will we.

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."(Hebrews 2:14-18, ESV)

Anger-What to do with it?

Few of us are willing to admit to anger. It's a word we avoid, an emotion we're uncomfortable with, a cloud of hurt, destruction and humiliation. But anger is biblical and real. Knowing how to identify and manage it not only glorifies God, it brings us joy, relief and spiritual maturity.
When we had younger children and the book, "The Heart of Anger," was recommended, I didn't realize I was the problem. Our children were children. My husband is a bonafide husband. And I was a push-over. It wasn't working very well.
The first step to using anger the way God intends is to identify it. Physically, real things are happening--and it's not all in your head. "Chemicals like adrenaline and noradrenaline surge through the body. In the brain, the amygdala, the part of the brain that deals with emotion, is going crazy. It wants to do something, and the time between a trigger event and a response from the amygdala can be a quarter of a second [source: Ellison]. But at the same time, blood flow is increasing to the frontal lobe, specifically the part of the brain that's over the left eye."*
One of the first things I learned was to say, "I'm starting to get angry." That was a cue to those around me--but especially myself--that something needed to change. Even now, I have that intentional thought, and it starts me down the right road.
Second, stop, look and listen. What just happened? Who said what? Why do I feel the way I do? It may mean I need to excuse myself or find a quiet place to think things through. The night my feelings got hurt over cupcakes (sad, but true), I turned my back to the group and worked at the kitchen counter while administering a heart exam/pep talk.
Third, ask God for help applying Scripture to the situation. If it's simply a matter of not getting what I want, it's easy to find Scripture (Matthew 22:39, Romans 12:10). If there's a problem to be solved or God's name and principles have been misused, I need to ask for wisdom (James 1:5).
Fourth, just do it. Confess and repent. Lovingly, sincerely give it up. Talk to the person involved. Solve the problem. Or intentionally wait on God (James 1:3).
A wrong response to anger always damages and destroys others--either blowing up immediately or clamming up at the time and overreacting later. Neither honors God. Neither solves the problem. They don't express supreme love for God and others--but supreme love for self.
Jesus was angry, but He attacked the problem--exploitation in the temple, false teaching by the Pharisees--not the person.** Even in His anger, He directed others back to the Father who desired repentance. Don't overlook the fact that you or I may be the problem that needs change.
Angry? Admit it (it's okay, you should). Stop, look, and listen. Prayerfully apply Scripture. Attack the problem, not the person. Ask forgiveness for the times you've blown it and move on.

Do not fret because of those who are evil
    or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
    like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
    though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity.

(Psalm 37:1-11)

*http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/anger2.htm
** The words of Dr. Bob Smith, "How to Handle Anger," Faith Biblical Counseling Training Conference, 2008.