Desire

Ah, the mantra!  "I do what I do because I want what I want.  I want what I want because I think what I think."  After a week at a counseling conference, my head is swimming with Biblical principles, so perhaps it's not surprising that God would repeat Himself today.

This morning I read Luke chapter 22 and blazing lights surrounded the wants of individuals. The chief priests and scribes wanted Jesus dead (v. 2).  Judas wanted an occasion to betray Jesus (v. 6).  Jesus wanted (earnestly desired!) to share the Passover with His disciples (v. 15).  The disciples wanted to know who was the greatest (v. 24).  Want, want, want!  Desire, desire, desire!

Now, this afternoon, I'm working through the book Peacemaking Women (by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler) on the topic of idolatry (translated:  I want!).  And, even as I type, our 9-year-old daughter stumbles into the room wrapped in a shawl begging, "Money!  Money!  All I need is one penny!"

What do I want?  To have acceptance, influence, comfort, friendship?  To be wealthy, attractive, sought after?  What did Jesus want?  To please the Father and do His work (John 17: 1,4,6).  There is too much to say in a short blog about the desires of the heart and the perfection of Christ's desires.  But I find myself challenged as I ask some of the questions from the end of the chapter by Barthel and Dabler (p. 61):
- I would be completely content or happy in my life if only...
- All I want is ...
- I get most sad and depressed when...
- I feel hopeless when...
- Don't ask me to give up my...

If you, like me, have some concrete answers, it's time to kneel at the foot of the cross for a heart exam and  repent. If you find yourself in turmoil or need help, please seek a trusted Christian friend or send me a comment.  I'll be glad to interact with you. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Dripping Honey

This week I am attending a biblical counseling conference.  The days are full and long.  After three 11-hour days of teaching, my brain is mush.

I will say, though, that the most important session we've had all week came this afternoon when Pastor Brad Bigney's challenge became personal.  "What would happen if I asked the people you minister to, 'How can you tell ______________ has been with Jesus?'  Not to find the right answers, not to build up her arsenal, but because she simply delights in her time with Him?" 

Does my love and passion for Jesus stir up hunger in the hearts of others?  Do I leave His banquet table with crumbs on my chest and action-released aroma?  How sweet is my personal relationship and daily time with Jesus?  "We have believers who have no idea what the banquet of Christ tastes like because they're satisfied with the Twinkies of the world" (Pastor Bigney).

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him. (Ps. 34:8)

"It is a dreary holiness indeed that is merely resisting sin.  The joy of holiness is found in having heard a sweeter song....Grace is the work of the Holy Spirit in transforming our desires so that knowing Jesus becomes sweeter than illicit sex, sweeter than money and what it can buy, sweeter than every fruitless joy.  Grace is God satisfying our souls with his Son so that we're ruined for anything else!" One Thing (Developing a Passion for the Beauty of God), Sam Storms, p. 123, 140.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this:  that one has died for all, therefore all have died. 2 Corinthians 5:14

I don't know about you, but the very thought makes my mouth water!

Who's Who

I didn't want to read my Bible today.  After the last couple of days it felt like no matter what I read, it would spell failure for the day.  Two days ago I meditated on Proverbs 8:13 about how the fear of God is hatred of perverse speech.  All day my thoughts were full of critical, judgmental thoughts that I struggled to harness.  I thought Proverbs was about hating the twisted words of others--but, no, I found them in myself.  Yesterday I meditated on Ezekiel 12 and God reminded me that difficult circumstances are there to drive me to Him.  Wouldn't you know that the circumstances nearly overcame me? I found myself grumbling and justifying my grumpiness while listening to a gravelly Star Wars voice echo, "The flesh is strong with this one."

How would I fail today?  Only God knows, but I knew my options were limitless.  As my husband, David, and I read Jeremiah together I was reminded that God doesn't want fancy-schmancy sacrifices (Jeremiah 8:20).  He simply calls me to do it His way--to depend on Him, to walk in the death and resurrection of Jesus instead of my own strength.  Today's motto:  give it up.  Whatever I'm holding onto to make myself good, better, or righteous.  I don't need it.  It won't work.  I only need Him.  So, those critical thoughts?  Give em up.  It's not my job to "fix" others.  My reaction to difficult circumstances? Give it up.  It's not my job to "fix" the circumstances. 

Are you ready to give it up?  Or are you afraid to read your Bible too?