My garage door opener is broken. My cell phone doesn't work. And I "evaporated" the fish in its tank this weekend. There's a dead mouse in the laundry room that's stinking up the joint. And harvest has just come to a close. These are days of endurance, breathing vapors of joy from days' past, remembering God's faithfulness and unchanging nature.
As I was beginning to spiral toward self pity, the Lord reminded me of Eddie McCoy--and I smiled. If you didn't know Eddie, a short entry like this will never do. He was a mountain man born at the wrong time. He carried fishing worms in his lip like chewing tobacco. He rinsed his coffee cup in streams and brooks. He hunted and fished like the Wyoming native he became. His wife did her best. And He loved the word of God. I can still recall his deep, wooded voice during Sunday night testimonies, earnest spittle at the corners of his mouth, lest he slow down or lose his train of thought, "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Knowing Eddie, he said a lot more than that, but I distinctly remember that passage.
Yesterday I thought about the time he took me aside after our wedding engagement. "You know what I told the new ladies who came to town? Why, they'd coming walking in my shoe store--Brown's Shoes--and they'd be looking for a nice new pair. And I'd say, 'What size does your husband wear?' And they'd say, 'I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for me.' And I'd say, 'You need a pair of men's slippers, your husband's size. Wear them when you get the mail. Wear them when you take out garbage and visit your neighbor over the fence. See, that's what the local ladies do--and look, they're right at home.'"
I must have seemed lost because Eddie continued, "When you're in a new place and you don't feel at home, stop thinking about yourself. Look at the people around you, watch what they do. Soon enough you'll feel like everyone else." Instead of wallowing in self-pity and pampering myself, the answer was to pick up my head, look around, and ask how I could change.
And that is why I rescued a beta from Walmart. When things weren't going well it was time to do something for someone (or something) else. It was time to stop looking at myself and look out into the world. It was time to consider the change God was working in my heart.
God is not glorified when I'm feeling sorry for myself, when the focus is on me and I'm living in Grumbletown. God is so much bigger than daily irritants and frustrations. He is calling, tugging, drawing my eyes away from self, from temporary, immediate concerns to worthy, eternal, weighty matters--Christ. It begins with confession and ends with repentance: praise, thanks, gratitude and worship, honoring Him by loving and serving others--even if it means baby steps in men's slippers or rescuing betas from Walmart.
Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:2-7)
As I was beginning to spiral toward self pity, the Lord reminded me of Eddie McCoy--and I smiled. If you didn't know Eddie, a short entry like this will never do. He was a mountain man born at the wrong time. He carried fishing worms in his lip like chewing tobacco. He rinsed his coffee cup in streams and brooks. He hunted and fished like the Wyoming native he became. His wife did her best. And He loved the word of God. I can still recall his deep, wooded voice during Sunday night testimonies, earnest spittle at the corners of his mouth, lest he slow down or lose his train of thought, "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Knowing Eddie, he said a lot more than that, but I distinctly remember that passage.
Yesterday I thought about the time he took me aside after our wedding engagement. "You know what I told the new ladies who came to town? Why, they'd coming walking in my shoe store--Brown's Shoes--and they'd be looking for a nice new pair. And I'd say, 'What size does your husband wear?' And they'd say, 'I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for me.' And I'd say, 'You need a pair of men's slippers, your husband's size. Wear them when you get the mail. Wear them when you take out garbage and visit your neighbor over the fence. See, that's what the local ladies do--and look, they're right at home.'"
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| https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/t/big-shoes-kid-white-background-58755092.jpg |
I must have seemed lost because Eddie continued, "When you're in a new place and you don't feel at home, stop thinking about yourself. Look at the people around you, watch what they do. Soon enough you'll feel like everyone else." Instead of wallowing in self-pity and pampering myself, the answer was to pick up my head, look around, and ask how I could change.
And that is why I rescued a beta from Walmart. When things weren't going well it was time to do something for someone (or something) else. It was time to stop looking at myself and look out into the world. It was time to consider the change God was working in my heart.
God is not glorified when I'm feeling sorry for myself, when the focus is on me and I'm living in Grumbletown. God is so much bigger than daily irritants and frustrations. He is calling, tugging, drawing my eyes away from self, from temporary, immediate concerns to worthy, eternal, weighty matters--Christ. It begins with confession and ends with repentance: praise, thanks, gratitude and worship, honoring Him by loving and serving others--even if it means baby steps in men's slippers or rescuing betas from Walmart.
Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:2-7)
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