The last week or two I have been more aware of the ugly stain of sin that resides in my heart and eventually eaks its way to the surface. Why I'm surprised, I don't know. What I do know is that shame and embarrassment are never far behind. How could I be so cruel? So insensitive? So harsh? So selfish?
As I've written before, other people don't determine what's right and wrong, but they can sure provide feedback that lets me know I'm out of line--or need to stop and think about what, why and how I'm doing/saying what I am.
In these moments I remind myself that the stinky sin in my heart--the murderous, lying, "I want it my way now," demands are always there, always lurking. They are not just things I do; they are who I am. They are me, sin is my instinctive choice and nature.I must own it.
But God. In grace, by His love and with His mercy, God covers it with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. He has canceled the written code against me--and it is deserved, all of it. Through Jesus, He atoned for my sin and made a way for me to be right with God. Yes, sin is present. Yes, it is part of who I am--for now--but it is losing. Its power has been stripped. Its future has been crushed . And I am in the process of being transformed, day by day, little by little .
Awareness of sin is a sign of God's grace. A dead person has no awareness of disease, wounds, hunger or thirst. There was a time I had no concept of my brokenness and desperate need. But now that I'm alive, I struggle with the areas of my mind and life that drag me down, that reveal my natural state, hurt others and grieve the Lord. Conviction of sin is a work of the Holy Spirit.
So when sin and shame eat at my thoughts, I am learning to examine my heart and mind, to confess and ask forgiveness from those I have wronged. I turn to reminders of God's love, grace, forgiveness and push on...hopefully with more humility, patience, kindness, compassion and lovingkindness than before. Because God is just that good--and Jesus is more than able.
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. (Colossians 2:6-15 ESV)
As I've written before, other people don't determine what's right and wrong, but they can sure provide feedback that lets me know I'm out of line--or need to stop and think about what, why and how I'm doing/saying what I am.
In these moments I remind myself that the stinky sin in my heart--the murderous, lying, "I want it my way now," demands are always there, always lurking. They are not just things I do; they are who I am. They are me, sin is my instinctive choice and nature.I must own it.
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But God. In grace, by His love and with His mercy, God covers it with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. He has canceled the written code against me--and it is deserved, all of it. Through Jesus, He atoned for my sin and made a way for me to be right with God. Yes, sin is present. Yes, it is part of who I am--for now--but it is losing. Its power has been stripped. Its future has been crushed . And I am in the process of being transformed, day by day, little by little .
Awareness of sin is a sign of God's grace. A dead person has no awareness of disease, wounds, hunger or thirst. There was a time I had no concept of my brokenness and desperate need. But now that I'm alive, I struggle with the areas of my mind and life that drag me down, that reveal my natural state, hurt others and grieve the Lord. Conviction of sin is a work of the Holy Spirit.
So when sin and shame eat at my thoughts, I am learning to examine my heart and mind, to confess and ask forgiveness from those I have wronged. I turn to reminders of God's love, grace, forgiveness and push on...hopefully with more humility, patience, kindness, compassion and lovingkindness than before. Because God is just that good--and Jesus is more than able.
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. (Colossians 2:6-15 ESV)
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