Facebook is full of it. Conversation stirs. Life happens. We share. My most recent thought-spinning has been, "Am I complaining? Or being real? Is it wrong to seek understanding when life disappoints?
One of our greatest heart-motivations, especially as women, is to be understood. We share because we want someone--anyone--to enter our experience and share our joy, hurt, frustration, disquiet. I can only imagine weary Adam listening to Eve process their sin after removal from the Garden. How we long to be heard, known, understood and affirmed.
Unfortunately we find it easiest, natural even, to seek understanding in selfish, short-sighted ways. We argue; we complain. We respond with sarcasm, flirting and slander. Or, wonder of wonders, we clam up altogether and dare someone to draw us out.
One of my recent goals has been to be who I am both in public and private. The same person--warts, hairspray and all. Jesus, my example, was who He was (and is who He is!). Nothing more. Nothing less. That's my goal. But where on that continuum is the line between authenticity and complaining?
What do I say (or not say) when plans change, disappointments strike, and wishes fritter away? Do I bite my tongue? Ask for prayer? Praise the Lord? What's real and what's wrong? I'm still working it out in my head and heart, realizing that others feel relief and encouragement when they witness God at work in my struggles and trials in spite of my sinful self. The goal is to honor God through honesty--even if it's not comfortable, or pretty, or pleasing to men. The flip side is to get caught up in moaning about unwanted circumstances and unmet expectations or cover them altogether, shushing loud children, presenting coiffed hair and a calm smile. How wide is the line? How narrow? If you have a thought or comment, please share it below.
I realize some of you are facing life or death decisions and circumstances. Please know that this entry is not intended to be trite or insensitive; it's simply where the rubber meets the road for the author in this moment. Perhaps you will share a comment or two as well.
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" (Psalm 27:13-14)
One of our greatest heart-motivations, especially as women, is to be understood. We share because we want someone--anyone--to enter our experience and share our joy, hurt, frustration, disquiet. I can only imagine weary Adam listening to Eve process their sin after removal from the Garden. How we long to be heard, known, understood and affirmed.
Unfortunately we find it easiest, natural even, to seek understanding in selfish, short-sighted ways. We argue; we complain. We respond with sarcasm, flirting and slander. Or, wonder of wonders, we clam up altogether and dare someone to draw us out.
One of my recent goals has been to be who I am both in public and private. The same person--warts, hairspray and all. Jesus, my example, was who He was (and is who He is!). Nothing more. Nothing less. That's my goal. But where on that continuum is the line between authenticity and complaining?
What do I say (or not say) when plans change, disappointments strike, and wishes fritter away? Do I bite my tongue? Ask for prayer? Praise the Lord? What's real and what's wrong? I'm still working it out in my head and heart, realizing that others feel relief and encouragement when they witness God at work in my struggles and trials in spite of my sinful self. The goal is to honor God through honesty--even if it's not comfortable, or pretty, or pleasing to men. The flip side is to get caught up in moaning about unwanted circumstances and unmet expectations or cover them altogether, shushing loud children, presenting coiffed hair and a calm smile. How wide is the line? How narrow? If you have a thought or comment, please share it below.
I realize some of you are facing life or death decisions and circumstances. Please know that this entry is not intended to be trite or insensitive; it's simply where the rubber meets the road for the author in this moment. Perhaps you will share a comment or two as well.
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" (Psalm 27:13-14)
"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain." (Philippians 2:14-16)
"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." (Colossians 4:6)
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." (Ephesians 4:29-30)
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." (Ephesians 4:29-30)
So with your second blog I see God has given you an answer. Yea! Checking the heart is most important. I had a few thoughts and never got them sent, sorry. Maybe my thoughts will be helpful too.
ReplyDeleteLeaders should be transparent and vulnerable so that they seem real. But we do need to be cautious in sharing at times
* Know your audience, who are you sharing with and how will they take it? Will it start a snowball affect? Will they take it our of context? Will it hurt Gods testimony?
*Also check the spirit in which you share it. Is it a complaining spirit or one seeking advise and encouragement?
*Finally am I being led by the Spirit to share or do I just want a sympathetic ear. It should never be about us but all about God.
So I know all this but it is hard to practice. God is good and merciful but we can all continue to grow in this area so that we can seem authentic to people but not complain.
Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your encouragement and practical insight. The Sunday school answer is usually easy to come up with, but the every day listening to myself and working out what "Christ in me" really means takes time. Thank you, friend.
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