Journal from a Farm Wife

Yesterday I struggled with godliness.  Instead of my chirpy, cheerful self I found myself withdrawn and grumpy.  It might have been the offer to drive the grain cart for my husband, but I had given up my agenda willingly; I didn't feel cheated or obligated.  It might have been the unwieldy cart, full of grain, that wiggled and jiggled and rocked, making me nervous.  Or it might have been the dust and traffic on the gravel roads as I drove back and forth from the field to the grain bins.  The stress of it all stole my joy.  I know the time I nearly lost control on a downhill slope with a ton of beans attached behind didn't help.  That was simply terrifying.

I tried to cheerful, and helpful, and kind.  But I just couldn't get there.  I wanted to be happy.  And I wasn't unhappy.  But I just couldn't put a smile in my voice on the two-way radio.  And I just couldn't wave in excitement as David passed me in the field, chugging from one end to the other with the combine.

I guess it's life.  A bump in the road.  It happens sometimes.  That's what grace is for.
(Finished a week after the fact....)