Waiting

This morning I stood in the door frame waiting for our 16-year-old daughter to get situated and pull out of the garage on her first day of school this year.  She didn't need my help.  I didn't have anything more to say or encourage or suggest.  But she looked to see if I was watching.  She just wanted to know I was there. 

Many, many times over the years God has worked to teach me the value of waiting and this morning, I realized why waiting is so difficult.  It's difficult because of me. 

If I wait things may not turn out the way I want them.  If I wait, I am not doing the thing I want to do, I'm doing what someone else wants to do.  When I wait, I rarely see an immediate benefit, which is generally annoying, irritating, frustrating--especially if I haven't "agreed" to wait (i.e. the "shortest" line at the grocery store which takes the longest amount of time).

But waiting expresses value--a confidence, an affection.  It is the giving of me for you; my way for yours.  It is submission to the will of another. It is beautiful.  It is Christlike.  It is the way of God.  No matter the circumstance, I am ultimately waiting on God.  Whether I'm waiting for Him to move the line or give wisdom or answer a prayer, my willingness to wait and depend on Him is the way of Christ.  It is an echo of His prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done."

What are you waiting for?  Is your heart quieted and content in the lap of God?  Or are you clamoring for more?

"O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
² Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
³ O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever."  Psalm 131

Confessions of an Enthusiast

If you're married, you probably found there are times your spouse catches you off guard--even though you know better. One of David's first glimpses into my desire for and execution of ideas was when I insisted we have a pool with goldfish inside the church for our wedding.  If we were going to walk over the arched, white-washed bridge, we needed water, rocks, live plants and goldfish!  I know he really didn't want to tote in the truckload of rocks to line the pool on either side, set up tarps, plants, and settle the goldfish, but he did. What a wonderful husband!  And a wonderful memory.

It's been 23 years and my enthusiasm still stretches him--and gets me into things I haven't totally thought through.  So here's a public confession and apology to our fellow youth workers after last night's meeting.  I see a vision.  I get excited.  I know just how it could be done.  And, at least for a time, I cast that vision one way and another and another.  It's so real.  It's so amazing.  It's so do-able.  It's so....  Ahhh, and the next morning reality hits as I struggle to get out of bed and do the tasks that belong to today. 

This morning, before coffee, I wondered how I could be excited about anything.  After the first cup I struggled with how to do what needed to be done now, today.  By the time I drained the second cup, clothes had been gathered, wash started, beds made, dishes done and I was praying for those who patiently listened to and considered the wonderful ideas we tossed around, knowing their plates are much more full than mine.

Now that I've had time in the Bible, my heart and mind are more settled and I have hope.  This is what I read in Matthew chapter 1 this morning:  "So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord" (v. 22).  Matthew was writing about the beginning of Jesus' earthly life--his conception, the state of Israel and the set up of Joseph and Mary's circumstances.  Their lives were turned upside down by Jesus' coming.  Their circumstances appeared out of control--and they were (out of their control--aren't they always?).  But God knew.  He was working His plan.

The take away?  There is nothing I can do apart from God's purpose and plan.  He will bring about exactly what He has in mind--and I hope to be part of it--but it doesn't depend on my ideas or my efforts or my limitations. And those things we talked about and got excited about and wondered about last night will happen just as God intends.  How that removes the pressure, the weight, the fear of criticism, the frustration.  God has done.  God is doing.  God will do.  And we are blessed to be a part.

God said, "Let their be light."  And there was light.  But His Word in our hearts is accomplished on a much different time frame.  May we be true to His Word, faithful and obedient servants who love Him with the excitement and enthusiasm He deserves.

Are you an enthusiast or do you live/work with one?  Would you be willing to share how God is using it in your life?

The Other Line

We just returned from "the happiest place on earth."  This particular amusement park has a fabulous new feature that saves your place in line.  One simply runs an admittance ticket into the hold-my-place-please machine and returns an hour or two later to be ushered to the front.  Each time our family walked past the sweaty, impatient, foot-shifting line I felt a twinge of guilt and secret indulgence.  I had to remind myself that we all had the same access, but we spent it on different rides, at different times.

During one of our quick trips I overheard a British teen (what a lovely accent!) ask his father why we got to go and they had to wait. "Because they've paid money for special tickets."  What?  No, we haven't! I wanted to protest.  Their conversation nagged at my thoughts as we zigged and zagged through the cue line.  I wondered if it they would have listened to me, "You can too!  Just take your tickets--the ones you came in with--and run them through the hold-my-place-please machine!"

God's gift is very much the same.  Those of us who know God, who believe Jesus died in our place and took our punishment, trust Him.  We converse with Him daily, experiencing a joy and peace unknown to the rest of the world.  The majority of people watch as we travel through life enjoying good things and bad, living by faith, living with fewer worries or cares, loving and caring for one another. How often they wish for the beauty of forgiveness, not realizing they have the same access, the same opportunity.  God has revealed Himself through His Word.  He is accessible through prayer.  We must simply let go of our way and cling to His.  This is not a ride that takes longer for some than it does for others--it's for now, for eternity. I've banked my life on it.  If you haven't, please take time to read the questions and answers in the margin on the right side of this blog.  If you have, how willing are you to share with others?  Are you living fully, to the honor and glory of God?

My Purpose

I haven't shared from my personal daily readings for a long time.  But this morning I can't help it.  This captures our reason and focus for living--and I continue to be incredibly blessed by my journey through the book of Revelation.

Here's a thought from today's reading:

Monday, July 23, 2012 
Revelation 15

v. 4-6: Who shall not fear You, O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are holy. For all nations shall come and worship before You, For Your judgments have been manifested.”  After these things I looked, and behold, the temple of the tabernacle of the testimony in heaven was opened.  And out of the temple came the seven angels having the seven plagues, clothed in pure bright linen, and
having their chests girded with golden bands.

Impression:  God’s judgment results in our worship.  And those who administer His justice do so in holiness and righteousness.  There is nothing dirty, shameful, wrong, or self-exalting in the angels God sends to deliver His wrath.

Application:  I am not God’s instrument of wrath.  God has agents designed for that purpose.  My purpose, along with all the saints is to fear, glorify and worship God (v. 4).  I am a lowly creature whose vision is limited, whose ability is finite, whose loyalty is divided.  But God has chosen me to glorify Him.  I have the opportunity each day, each hour, to honor and exalt Him with what He’s given.  Am I willing to do that in my home?  In our marriage?  Our community?  Our church?  With my gifts? With our resources?

Oh, God, grant me a heart of worship, hands of service, and wholehearted devotion.  I am incapable of any of these apart from your faithful, loving, guiding Hand.

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Vacation Bible School

We are hosting Vacation Bible School this week.  When someone in our neighborhood or church mentions Vacation Bible School (VBS), we don't just nod and say, "Oh, yes, it's about time for VBS."  We say, "VBS sure is fun!" and think of the explosion that 's about to take place.

Pastor Waldron has a vision to reach children.  The children of our neighborhood specifically.  We run an all-day, every day VBS for about 150 children each summer with about 40 volunteer staff.  We're not a large congregation.  We may have 180 for Sunday worship, so VBS numbers rival our total attendance.

Yesterday the emphasis was on sin.  Defining it, giving specific Scripture and examples.  At one point, a fellow worker came and got me to help counsel a young girl who responded to the Bible story.  As we talked about sin, tears rolled down her face and she hid behind her fists. We looked at 1 Peter 3:18 where Peter wrote about Jesus, the just, dying once for the unjust, to bring us to God.  After asking for God's forgiveness and confessing belief in Jesus she looked at me with large wet eyes, "I just don't want to be a sinner anymore."  I couldn't agree more.  What a beautiful picture of redemption!

God is doing a work.  It's not our work, it's His, but we are laboring in partnership with Him for the gospel this week, for the eternity of souls.  Please pray with and for us.

Doing Battle

One night last week at Jr. High camp, I lay awake praying.  And praying.  Opposition from the girls was fierce—their disinterest in chapel services, constant arguing, conflict, and resistance to instructions.  On that particular night a fourth girl in our cabin made a profession of faith.  When we got back to the room after post-chapel counseling, the others were stewing and steaming.  Someone bumped a mirror and it shattered on the cement floor.  My bedside light was unplugged.  Plugging it in resulted in a hiss, pop, and show of sparks.  We lost power.  Girls screamed and jumped at each other, calling out names from horror movies.

I slept after power was restored and having read from Psalms, but awoke at 2:30a.m., restless.   At some point I found myself musing over the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and was thankful for the many sermons and illustrations over the years.

My first thought was for my head and mind.  I had a very real need for the helmet of salvation.  Not only would it protect my ability to think and function, it was a very real barrier between life and death.  I was comforted by its weight and fit.  It did not shift.  It would not impair my vision or ability to fight.

I remembered the belt of truth.  Gathering the uncertainties and self-doubt rumbling in my mind, I quoted Scripture.  Taking hold of untruth and pulling reality into folds, I rearranged and tucked it in where it belonged so deceit would no longer hinder my freedom to act in faith.

Next, the breastplate of righteousness.  Not mine, Christ’s.  As sin and guilt surfaced, I confessed my sin and asked God for the gift of repentance.  My vital spiritual organs are vulnerable—my emotions, my memories, my inner workings—but in Christ they are covered , beyond the reach of the adversary.  Christ Himself stands between my guilt, my sin, my shame and the accusations of the evil one.

Oh, the gospel of peace.  I desperately needed and asked for this.  In my fight against rulers, powers, world forces of darkness and spiritual forces of wickedness, I recognized my weakness to strike out at people and circumstances.  I needed spiritual feet that could stand, settled and confident, fully resting in God’s ability to wage war while I stood rooted in peace and serenity toward those around me.

Even as I prayed, the shield of faith was moving, darting, blocking distracting thoughts, thwarting excuses, justification for my own sinful choices, and random musings.  How necessary to know, to believe, to take hold of, God.  He was.  He is.  He will be.  And He provides the faith necessary to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

With the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, in hand, I prayed.  For those who had trusted in Christ, for those who hadn’t, for my weakness and tendency to sin, for those around me, for the speakers, for my family at home.  It was a couple of hours before I had peace and rested into morning.  And now, on this side of that specific battle, I have a greater understanding of the armor of God.  How necessary each piece is and how God has armed us to stand firm.  And having done all, to stand.

When I Can't

A whine.  "I can't!"  The mantra of Jr. High girls at camp.  Then, by God's grace, one of them posted this note on the door:  Ask God for help first.

This mean counselor doesn't give free time until verses are recited.  "I can't!" 
"What does the sign say?"
"Ask God for help first."

Girls were angry and resentful, using tacky glue on another's bedding.  "I don't want to deal with this, God."  Then I looked at the note on the door.  "Ask God for help first."

A salvation invitation was given and two girls repented, accepting God's forgiveness through Christ.  A third was confused and lost.  "I can't!"
"What does the sign say?"
"Ask God for help first."

On the lake, a camper was thrown off the innertube, into the lake.  She struggled to get on. "I can't!"
"What does the sign say?"
"Ask God for help first."

The final day this counselor couldn't go on.  She fell apart and needed a break.  "I can't." 
"What does the sign say?"she asked herself.
"Ask God for help first."

And our memory passage for the week was spot-on:

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, ¹⁵ from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, ¹⁶ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, ²¹ to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."  (Ephesians 4:14-21)

In the end,  the verses were recited, 4 salvation decision were made, conflicts were resolved, no one drowned in the lake or got left behind, and this counselor had to ask for help, which the Lord graciously provided. Our God is amazing.  What a privilege to serve and be used!

Living Worship

There is beauty in serving together, a glory that reflects and magnifies God.  I noticed it yesterday afternoon when our daughter, Rachael, asked for help sewing Vacation Bible School bugs and the girls and I pitched in.  We sat on the floor and at the sewing machine working fabric, googly eyes, scissors, thread and pipe cleaners, the four ladies of our home.  As I ran loose stitches in repetition for the pill bug, I wondered if perhaps we were experiencing a unique kind of worship.  It was for God's purpose, by His enabling, and with the resources He'd provided.  And, by His grace, it was free of bickering, pride and strife.

This morning as I sat down to read Revelation, I saw the same thing:  And the four living creatures, each one of them having six wings, are full of eyes around and within; and day and night they do not cease to say, “ Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come.” (4:8)

The four creatures serve and worship together.  There is not an aloneness, but a togetherness, a unity of purpose, mind, and spirit from God, the Author of life and unity.  Think of it, left to ourselves we do it alone.  We want it  our way.  We want the sense of accomplishment, of prestige and power that come with solitary success.  But that is not God.  God is three-in-one.  God is present in His Body, the Church.  God is a person of fellowship, submission and cooperation.  And God is most glorified when we set aside our singularity in deference to His supremacy (Philippians 2, Romans 12, Ephesians 1-count the plural pronouns!).

I was also struck with the thought that, even if my being were full of eyes, I could never take in enough of God.  Everything about Him is deserving of worship and praise, day and night, without ceasing.  The verse, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," took on a whole new meaning. Our view and perspective are so clouded by sin and distractions that praise is far from our natural state.  We cannot see His glory, let alone live in it.  Perhaps, the farther we are from God and His glory, the less we live and speak with worship and praise.  The clearer our vision, the closer we are to Him, the more we see and acknowledge His awesome power, might, wisdom and love. 

May today be lived with praise and worship:  in my conversation, meal preparation, laundry ministrations, time with husband and children.  It can be.  It should be.  As God is present.

God in My Weakness

It's a petty thing.  I hesitate to write about it, but it's a big thing for me and I wanted to share it.

Do you ever wonder how the things you can't do could benefit someone else?  Or what you'll do with what you know?  Last week while counseling 4-6th grade girls at camp we were challenged to think along those lines.  Our week began with archery, ran into bumper boats, swimming and all the fun things that happen at camp (including lattes and frappes)!  But woven throughout was faithful teaching from God's Word.

Then, days later, I was struck between the eyes with the Bible teaching we received from Kristi Walker, who came to us from Berlin.  The point she brought up over and over is that God made each of us to show Him off, to bring Him honor and glory.  When she told the story of her colossal week as a camper, tears of laughter ran down my face.  It was epic!  Her point was that God has used her in spite of, even in areas of, personal weakness.  As she ended with Bible teaching of David and Samson, she challenged us to think of little ways we can be faithful (David caring for the sheep) and areas of struggle (Samson giving in to temptation and pride) that God might ultimately use for His glory.

That's what made me laugh with God today.  We got home from a morning in town and I realized God set me up in one of my great areas of weakness: cleaning house. 

When we got married I was a college student.  Young and inexperienced, I lived like a college student, comfortable with clutter (I still am!).  As children joined our lives, I thought it prudent to leave out Legos as burglar-prevention devices.  Toy trucks and farm machinery, too.  My husband, on the other hand, is half Dutch.  His mother still sweeps the dirt.  As she is able, she washes windows, inside and out, three times a year.  Need I go on?  You may guess that this was a source of conflict in our home.

Ultimately, through God's steadfast prompting and love for my husband, I practiced cleaning house despite my desire to spend time with people and books. I did read about how to clean and care for a home.  Bonnie's Household Organizer is one of my favorites.  I added books on clutter and how not to be a Messy (books by Sandra Felton).  I looked for help online (check out FlyLady).  And practiced.  And prayed for a willing heart and gentleness when bitterness and resentment brewed.  Little by little our home gained efficiency.  Not perfection, but improvement.

That's why I laughed this morning when three different friends asked for help with their homes.  It's evidence of God at work. 

As far as our home goes, I still pray that God will work in me "both to will and do for His good pleasure."  It takes intentional hard work to keep up with hair on the bathroom floor, laundry, decorating and updating the calendar.  And what a blessing it is when the children pitch in and follow!  God has blessed in this, my place of Samson-weakness.

You already know your area(s) of Samson weakness.  Is God there?  Is He prompting you to obedience and faithfulness?  He will use even those to glorify Himself as we lovingly submit to His working and way.  I pray you will trust Him with your weakness, that He may be strong. 

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)

God Loves Angelique and Roger

Last night God showed His love for Angelique and Roger.  Our youth group meets at a community rec center once a week.  As we moved from ultimate frisbee outside on the green to Bible study inside, my husband, David, invited the kids hanging out at the entrance to join us.  Some of the kids were teens, but many were much younger.  That's when it began.

Before going in to town, I had packed a set of lessons entitled, "Do What's Right," a music cd and speaker, as well as visuals for the children's portion of our ladies' Bible study.  Remembering they were in the vehicle I said, "If you're willing to wait, I have a Bible story and songs for 5-12 year olds."  I prayed and walked quickly, amazed at God's preparation and provision. 

When I returned, only two of the 12-15 kids were interested.  They sat on a park bench outside and waited patiently while I started the music and ordered the teaching materials.  The song visual had a picture of a young boy that looked suspiciously like Roger.  His eyes locked on that figure as we sang the chorus repeatedly.  Once again, I shook my head at God's personal touch.

I shared the story of Ruth, praying earnestly.  It's been at least six years since I've taught that material and had no time to review.  But God knew.  As I showed the first scene, the other kids returned.  They delighted in reading the teacher-part over my shoulder and shared answers to the opening question: "What is the one true way to get to heaven?"  When told that Jesus Christ is the only true way to heaven they scattered, all but Angelique and Roger.

Earlier, as I walked to the vehicle, I reminded myself that God calls.  I asked Him to keep those He had in mind and took confidence in that.  And there were Angelique and Roger. Before they left, I read from Romans and visited with them about Jesus. 

Wow.  What a humbling, wonderful experience.  And to think that God loves me....

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.   No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.   And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.   If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.   And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. (1 John 4:10-16)

Removing Dingle-Berries

Spoiler/Warning:  Farm life is rarely politically correct.  And, while the example below may seem offensive to some Bible scholars, Jesus called Himself the "good Shepherd," presenting Himself through the lowly, real objects of daily life.

Wednesday is barn-cleaning day.  While the girls shoveled cow schlpoo, I clipped dingle-berries from the back end of sheep.  Usually it doesn't need to be done, but a couple of the gals ate something they shouldn't have and the dingle-berries grew, interfering with normal functions, creating a maggot habitat.
You may wonder what this has to do with Jesus, the "Heart Quencher." Just this: Jesus is our Shepherd.  Just like a shepherd protects the flock from many things, including disease, Jesus protects us from the ill effects of sin by cleansing and restoring us.  It's up-close and personal.
Our youngest daughter helped me herd the ewes into the barn, down the alley, and into a jug (pen) that happened to be too big.  The sheep evaded me and pushed their weight around, endangering all of us while I had scissors in hand.  After shuffling them to a smaller pen, I climbed over the side and got to work, snipping matted wool that might otherwise become infected or infested.

As I walked back to the house, I thought of Jesus, our Great Shepherd.  We shared a comeraderie today as I realized: 
- Young shepherds tend to move quickly and make loud noises, frightening the sheep.  An experienced shepherd walks slowly, talks softly, and stays behind the sheep, guiding them to an exact destination. 
-  A shepherd creates order out of chaos.
-  A shepherd uses other sheep to buffer a new situation, control those who need care, and settle the unsettled. 
-  A shepherd speaks reassuringly to all the sheep while working closely and personally with each one.
-  A shepherd uses different instruments for different jobs: in this case, utility scissors vs. finely-pointed ones.  The wise shepherd uses the tool that is best suited for each situation. 

It's fair to say that all of suffer from dingle-berries that resulted from poor decisions.  But it's equally right to say that Jesus desires to free us of our sin and restore our spiritual health.  Perhaps God is trimming away sin in your life through people, circumstances, or His Word.  He is the only One who can do it with the quietness, gentleness, and sensitivity that lead to healing and restoration. 
A final word about sheep:  Not one of them said thank you.  Have you thanked your Shepherd today?

Falling Short

"There is a huge difference, I have found, between committment and surrender.  Committment says,'I can.  I'll do it somehow.  I'll serve you, Lord.  I'll keep my promises this time, you'll see.  I'll witness this year, I'll lead that Bible study.  I'll stay away from alcohol, drugs, etc.'  But surrender says,'I can't.  I've tried, but I don't have the strength.  Lord if it's going to happen, the only way it can is if You are in the boat, calling the shots.'"  (Roger Glidewell, Youth Ministry by the Book, p. 26).

Last weekend, while we were celebrating our son's graduation, visiting family was showing mercy:  buying crepe-paper poppies and slipping money into the pockets of needy individuals they didn't even know.  Their examples were both encouraging and discouraging, because there were people in the back of my mind I'd been wanting, intending, to help, for weeks.

This week passed and people nagged at my thoughts, but I just didn't get done.  Until yesterday.  And maybe today.  And as I lay in bed this morning giving thanks, I was reminded that, "it is God who works in you, both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13).  I can have the best intentions in the world.  I can have the best, most creative intentions in the world.  I can have the best, most creative, and earnest intentions in the world.  But apart from the hand of God, they won't happen.  Without God, something will thwart those good works, those good ideas, every time.

This morning I'm praising God that He accomplishes His good work:  being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.(Philippians 1:6, Ephesians 2:10).

And the question is not, am I committed to God and doing His work?  The real question is, am I surrendered to giving up my way and waiting on God to accomplish His?

Bragging on God

Our oldest son is graduating this weekend.  I've drug out the papers and art projects that were squirreled away in the basement, scanned pre-digital photos and put them together for a slide show.  And it's time.  Time to brag on God.

With graduation looming, floods of answered prayer come to mind. A friend and I meet weekly to pray for our children and schools and this is how we've seen God work:
- We prayed that God would expose dangerous substances in our community and that very night police arrested members of a drug ring from Chicago at the local grocery store.  Shots were fired.  No one was hurt.
- We continue to pray for the safety of our high school and middle school students.  For the last three years, there have been no end-of-the-year or alcohol-related accidents.  We have specifically asked God to intervene in cases of attempted suicide, and have seen His hand in that as well.
-  We have prayed for those who guide and guard our schools:  the administrators, school board, and counselors.  God has continued to prompt them to lead with righteousness and justice.
- We have asked God to make Himself known through excellence in our education system, and this is the result: http://www.kcrg.com/news/local/West-Liberty-Cracks-Iowa-Top-Ten-in-Best-High-Schools-Rankings-151057875.html
- We pray for strength and perseverance for our teachers, for unmet and hidden needs of students, for attentiveness and diligence.  God provides.
- We have prayed about weather for both school- and construction-related events and praised God as He worked all things for His glory.

Personally, I am praising, blessing, and thanking God for the years we've enjoyed with our son.  We are extremely blessed and proud of him, of who he is, of who he will become.  He will be missed at our house and enjoyed elsewhere.

In wrapping up the school year, I ran across this verse: Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

This is my God--a God of kindness,  justice and righteousness who is actively at work. Have you seen Him lately?  It's your turn to brag!

 

The Death of Life

The women sat around the table, grappling with the  impossible, the inconceivable, the unimaginable and their hearts twisted, their stomachs clenched, their minds spun.  Okay, maybe the other women didn't feel that way, but I did.  It was lesson seventeen of eighteen on the book of Mark and, once again, I marveled at Jesus' journey to and through the cross.

We discussed the courage of Peter and John in the courtyard, the physical abuse and the betrayal Jesus endured, but could not get past the fact that God Himself bore our sin, that the Godhead was rent.  How could the one who said, "I am the resurrection and the life," become unrighteousness and death?  

And I realized that we, the created beings, live in a state of death.  Until God draws us and quickens us, there is no spiritual life (Ephesians 2:1).  We begin as small babes with little awareness of the world around us and grow, day by day, as we are fed and nurtured into fullness of life (John 10:10).  Jesus was life.  The Author of life. The Giver of life.  The Fullness of life.  And He, bearing my sin, gave up that spiritual life, what He was, what He had always been.  There is no level of human comprehension to span that distance.

Then we, dead, naked corpses that we are, claim that God died for all, that we will all join Him in paradise, that we can live as we choose and take the rot to heaven where God will miraculously transform unrepentant hearts into joyous rapturous ones that continue to seek their own pleasure.  Not so.  We must come.  We must fall on our faces, acknowledging our sin and fallenness and asking for His mercy and forgiveness.  We choose to take the life He gives and live daily in the dual body of death vs. life until this body is left behind and we, too, experience His presence in its fullness.  We would still be dead.  We deserve nothing more....

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,  even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),  and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,  not of works, lest anyone should boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:4-10).

Come and See!

Our ladies Bible study group has been working its way through the book of Mark, and this Easter morning, I am thinking about faith.  Faith is the act of going to God with expectation.  The four friends took their lame companion to Jesus and lowered him through the roof because they expected Jesus to heal him.  Jairus went knowing Jesus could heal his daughter.  The hemorrhaging woman reached out and touched, believing He would make her well.  Then Jesus went to Nazareth and taught in the synagogue.  There was amazement, but without crowds, clambering people, mobs of distraction.  "And He could do no miracles there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them.  And He wondered at their unbelief"  (Mark 6:5-6).

On Easter morning, I often think of Mary.  "Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone already taken away from the tomb.... But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stopped and looked into the tomb..." (John 20:1,11).  Mary went to Jesus with every expectation of finding Him.

This morning, as I consider struggles and disappointment and my need, am I willing to go to Jesus?  To leave behind excuses and justifications and simply go?  Do I believe, truly believe, that He is who He says He is?

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).

The Radio Show: Following Jesus

The radio announcer was talking with Michael Card about Jesus' death and asked the audience, "What does the idea of taking up your cross and following Jesus mean to you where you are today?" (Yes, Chris Fabry likes words.)  I fumbled with my phone, but didn't dare dial as I exited the interstate.  Compared to the 71-year-old woman's ups and downs, my personal examples felt silly.  However, these examples came to mind immediately, and I know there is no inconsequential choice.  If I'd called in, this is what I would have said:

Today, dying to myself meant not eating the frosted cherry pop-tart.  I wanted it.  Really wanted it, but I have been convicted of consuming more calories than I need.  Disobedience, following my wants and desires, would have been eating the pop tart.  Obedience, following Jesus, meant choosing a low-calorie alternative.

Today, dying to myself meant placing a call to the nursing home.  "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their trouble..."  (James 1:27).  I've been unable to connect with this friend lately.  Disobedience would be indulging in story-world via an audiobook or netflix.  Obedience meant putting my friend's preferences before my own.

Today, I am reminded that dying to self is not all about loss, for God's rule of sowing and reaping applies at all times.  "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7).  When I do that which is right and good and pleasing to God in faith, I am rewarded with like consequences.  I feel good, my heart is filled with joy and peace, my faith is assured and doubt is diminished. 

As I choose to follow Christ in obedience, in suffering, in dying to self, I am encouraged that God provides for each and every need, that I might glory in Him and glorify Him!  As a result of the radio program and meditating on Jesus' sacrifice, I pray that death to myself would be more than martyrdom; that it would be the supernatural outpouring of gratitude and devotion.  It is Jesus Christ, beaten,  brutally killed, bearing the wrath of Almighty God in my place, who rose to victory over sin and the grave!  It is because of this that I can joyfully endure trial, temptation, loss (Hebrews 12:1-3, James 1:2-4).

"But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.   So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.   And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.   As it is written:

'He has dispersed abroad,
He has given to the poor;
His righteousness endures forever.'

"Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness,  while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.  For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God,   while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confession to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men, and by their prayer for you, who long for you because of the exceeding grace of God in you.   Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

In the Presence of Serpents

In the garden, Satan took the form of a serpent and led Eve down a path of deceit and disobedience.  In the desert, God sent fiery serpents to chastise His people's disbelief and ingratitude. 

My first impression on reading Numbers 21:6-9 this morning was that God did not remove the serpents.   He did provide a means of healing.  He instructed Moses to create a bronze serpent and lift it up on a pole.  Those who looked to the serpent were healed.  The serpents continued their destructive path, and those afflicted had a choice:  they could believe and receive healing or disbelieve and die.  We have that same choice today.  Sin works havoc, death and destruction in our personal lives and relationships.  But God has provided a way of escape for those who come in faith.  In the fullness of time, Jesus, the Son of Man, was lifted up to bring healing and forgiveness to those who believe (John 3:14-15).

The problem is, the serpent of sin--of unbelief and ingratitude--lives in my heart.  The great hope and comfort is, the Savior is there as well.  The life of faith must continue with the same sincerity and dependence with which it started. 

"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him,  rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 2:6-7

Spiritual Greed

One of the greatest dangers of ministry is spiritual greed.  We see a need, a hole, and want to fill it.  In our sinful selves, there is a part of us that 1) isn't content to trust God to meet the need His way, 2) wants to be the savior.  Oh, what a dangerous, dreadful decision to step in the gap that God has left open!

We know what it is to struggle with an unmet need, to want something--something good--and to live without it.  We often step into God's place, trying to meet our own need, creating anxiety, worry and fear, before we step back willingly to wait on Him (see Psalm 131).  Learning to wait is long, painful process that can be practiced successfully, but never perfectly.  Ah, the life of a sinner!  (Romans 7-8)

Even more dangerous is our desire to step into the lives of others and meet their needs apart from God's provision.  This morning as I read about Korah's rebellion, I was struck by the difference between Moses' focus and the focus of the wayward priests who were eaten by spiritual greed.  Moses' focus was God:  "The LORD will... He will... the man whom the LORD chooses...."  The priests' view was on themselves and Moses, "You have gone far enough...you exalt yourselves... you have brought us up out of a land...." (Numbers 16:1-14)

When I fall into believing that people are sovereign over their choices and the choices of others, I live in a sea of doubt, uncertainty, and unbelief.  But when God is my focus, the Author of circumstances, privilege, and trials, I can live with assurance, peace, and contentment.  When I find myself discontent with the ministry opportunities of others, or  unmet needs that glare to distraction, the question is, where is my focus?  Do I truly believe God is control?  Or am I attributing God's qualities to broken, sinful man who cannot control his own life, let alone mine.  To quote Moses, "...the LORD has sent me to do all these deeds; for this is not my doing."  (Numbers 16:28)

May you be blessed today as you see the ministry opportunities and individuals God has brought into your life and may you rest in His provision, finding peace and contentment not in the task, but in God Himself who enables and empowers you to serve Him, and Him only.

You Can't Trust Dorothy!

I admit it, when I got a new phone with GPS, I was thrilled.  So were our children!  We've seen many things we'll never see again on "field-trips-with-Mom" because I don't have a clue how we got there.  Copying my friend, Mary, I named my GPS Dorothy.  This week we discovered that the yellow brick road doesn't alway lead to the Emerald City.

Our daughters and I were on our way home from the Amish grocery store and turned to Dorothy for help.  She led us to a low-maintenance road.  In the river bottom.  With a Prius.  The road looked good.  There were no ruts (yet).  Or dark mud (yet).  It appeared dry and passable (even after 3" of rain and snow the day before).  Praise God for strong girls, Wyoming driving experience, and His intervention!  After slip-sliding, taking to the ditch and getting high-centered we made our way to a real road.  I trusted Dorothy to direct us to the best, most direct route home and foolishly went where I wouldn't have otherwise.

It was a real-life reminder to follow the Word of God completely, carefully and diligently!

"Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many.
¹¹ I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths.
¹² When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, And when you run, you will not stumble.
¹³ Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.

¹⁴ Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil.
¹⁵ Avoid it, do not travel on it; Turn away from it and pass on.
¹⁶ For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; And their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall.
¹⁷ For they eat the bread of wickedness, And drink the wine of violence.

¹⁸ But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.
¹⁹ The way of the wicked is like darkness; They do not know what makes them stumble.

My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings.
²¹ Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart;
²² For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh.
²³ Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
²⁴ Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you.
²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you.
²⁶ Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established.
²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove your foot from evil."

(Proverbs 4, NKJV)

Jesus at the Center

It's amazing how easy it is to lose focus, to get off-kilter in the busyness of life.  Here's a post worth reading that reminds us of the Focus and how to get there:

http://theresurgence.com/2011/12/07/how-god-works-through-us

Worm-Eatin Time

I've been wanting to write something warm and fuzzy, something to bring encouragement and smiles.  I wanted to write about the strange young man who snuck up on our 10-year old and I from behind the garbage bins at the convenience store but didn't knock on the window until after the door was locked.  I wanted to write about the beauty of singing "I Know Whom I Have Believed" and praying in Swahili/English with my friend, Joy, from the Congo.  I wanted to write so many things.  But what has circled me like a relentless vulture is my sin:  my impatience, ingratitude, self-will, unkindness.  Day after day, encounter after encounter.  Don't try to make me feel better.  It is what it is.  And you, no doubt, have sensed it too.

The encouragement is certainly not in my actions or  words.  After three disheartening interactions the other morning, I pulled into the parking garage at the hospital and considered winding my way right back out again before visiting the family I'd come to see.  At the rate I was going, I would cause more damage than good.  In that moment God prompted me to ask--okay, beg--Him to squelch my natural tendencies.  Only He knows the measure of His work.

My failure and need are not wasted, but they are painful.  They soar and peck at wounded flesh, piercing and tearing.  But God is faithful.  And as I am reminded of my sinful self, I am grateful for a sufficient Savior.  As I consider my sinful state, my eyes are opened to others who are no less thirsty for forgiveness.  As I live out the consequences of my sinful choices, I yearn for a time of perfection. 

This morning I confessed sins against my husband, under no duress but the screaming and clawing pride of my own heart .  But what a blessed relief and generosity of heart poured over my soul in his forgiveness! 

Each day, as I am convicted of and confess my sin, I hear the refrain, "Work, for the night is coming, work in the setting sun.  Work, for the night is coming, when man's work is done."  And Scripture reminds me that I am forgiven, redeemed and set free to live in a way that pleases the Lord (Hebrews 9:14, Colossians 1:10). "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again" (Proverbs 24:16). 

Above all, it's not about what others think about my failure and sin.  It's all about God, which means I won't be eating worms anytime soon, though at times I'm tempted to.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.  (Jude 24-25)

I'm Not Tired--and I'm Not a Sinner, Either

The holidays have come and gone.  And one thing I started hearing from the mouths of children New Year's Day and continue to hear in the classroom is this, "I'm not tired."  Adults look into those droopy eyes, see irritation flare and know that, regardless of what they say, the facts are the facts:  tired children need rest.  To say, "You're tired," only brings an argument.  There is no remedy but sleep.

It struck me that many of us approach our spiritual lives the same way,  only it sounds like this, "I'm not a sinner."  But the facts are the facts.  Broken relationships, unfulfilled commitments, and stinky attitudes cause us to point the finger and say, "You're a sinner," but there are not exceptions.  And there is no remedy but Jesus.

But day after day, when I'm honest with myself, I see the sin: brusque words, impatience, thoughtlessness, selfishness.  And that's when I'm learning to look for Jesus.  A tired child doesn't look for a bed until he's desperate.  A sinner doesn't look for relief until he's desperate.  And my prayer for this year is that I will look to Jesus apart from desperation; that He will remind me and draw me and satisfy me based on the facts:  that He who knew no sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21). 

Today, as I look into those little faces during rest time in the pre-kindergarten class and see them rolled up in their blankets on the floor, may my heart echo, "I'm a sinner...who has a great Savior."