Blind Man Walking

This summer I traveled to St. Petersburg, FL with three teenage farm girls. We had a fabulous time trying on the latest fashions at Walgreens, taking pictures of geckos, eating unique food...and learning how to get by in the city. It didn't take long to realize the importance of traffic lights. Go means go. Stop means stop.

The same is true of God's Word. We live in a world riddled with danger, temptation, obstacles, and (may I say it?) our own stupidity and ignorance. Those of us who trust Christ walk by faith, not by sight. We know the importance of observing God's traffic signals and living by the Creator's play book. Or do we?

How often do you and I effectively say, "Wait, God, I've got a better idea!"

"I know it says ________ but didn't You really mean _________." Somehow, we expect God to miraculously stop the car coming around the corner! How guilty I am of reading God's Word and twisting it to fit my own past experience, personal judgment of others, or desire to control the outcome!

If I had taken blind teens to the city, it would have required extra care. That is the world without Christ--the drivers, walkers, and crowds of people who surround us. They are not only hindered by the influences of the world, they cannot see it for what it is. And that was me. I once was blind, but now I see--not all of it, the future nor person's path beside me, but the path and direction God would have me go. He guides me daily by His Word, empowered by His Spirit. Why? So I might walk as Jesus walked.

What does that look like? To touch the untouchable, to love the unlovable; to seek the lost, to help the needy, to make Him known. The goal isn't financial success or human popularity. God doesn't guide and direct us into fulfilling careers and living out our full potential--not for our sake, our glory and happiness. God's desire is greater, bigger. His goal is to recreate the image of His Son. When you and I reflect Jesus, when local churches live in a way that makes Christ known, God is revealing His wisdom to the blind and lost as well as rulers and authorities in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:8-10). That's our calling.

Today's choice; walk by faith or blinded sight? Knowing God through Jesus allows me to see and walk worthy of the calling with which I have been called.

Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling;  one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift. (Ephesian 3:13-4:7)

Where's Jesus When We Need Him?

The woman looked at me, pain in her eyes, "Is there anything you can do to help?"
It was a moment for honesty. "I can't solve the problem or make it go away. But together you and I can find God in this. It's an opportunity for you to draw near to Him. Together, we can find peace. You can have peace with God and peace in this situation." I paused. "Are you willing to give it a try?"

We used to say love makes the world go round but that's not true anymore. Psychology makes the world go round. When a problem or crisis hits we may google it, ask our closest friends, or, if it gets really--I mean "really"--bad, we may talk to the pastor. Then, after days and weeks and months of struggle, we look for professional help and seek a psychologist or psychiatrist. That may or not make a difference.

If you are a person of influence in your church, you have had opportunity after opportunity to speak to broken, hurting hearts. And if you're a person like me, those hearts are not only outside, but inside your home--and your head as well.

Let me challenge each of us to get real about who Jesus is and what He can do. Does He love me? Real, down-to-earth love or love that was written on a page 2,000 years ago and forgotten? Does He know what's going on my life? And does He care? If it's true that He cares, where is He in this mess called life?

You and I can quote rote answers to the questions of life and suffering, but until we have tried Him and found Him true, until we know Him, have studied and questioned and lived Him, we can never place our full weigh and dependence on Him. If you are struggling with not seeing Jesus right now, where you are:

- Pray and ask God to reveal Himself. He wants to be found (Isaiah 55:6)
- Spend time daily reading God's Word and calling out to God. If you don't know where to start, begin with Psalm 42 and continue. Make lists of who God is and what He does as well as proper responses to His wonders, grace and love.
- Praise God. Yes, that's right. Praise Him. Offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving. God is worthy--even in our pain. Put Him in His rightful place with your prayer, words and actions.
- Seek help from godly sources. Talk to your pastor, a godly friend, or biblical counselor. Seek books that exalt God and direct your focus to Him in the midst of your suffering.

When we have tried and tested Him ourselves, we are equipped and able to answer those who ask, "What can you do for me right here, right now?" In that moment, we will say, "Not I, but Christ. He is here. He is waiting. He is enough." And in that moment, as we love and give of our lives in response to their pain, Jesus has given, is giving...and loving--through me and you. Will you be His Body, broken for them?


 
^"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me....

"I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you....

"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 16:32-17:26 NIV)

Creating a Biblical Counseling Office

Maybe you, like me, never said, “I want to be a biblical counselor when I grow up.” I didn’t know they existed. I wouldn’t have known what one was if you’d told me. But now I know who they are. They’re real people in real skin with real struggles that come alongside other real people in real skin with real struggles. Biblical counselors are Jesus in our midst, individuals God has gifted to teach and equip those who are hurting and seeking change within the local church.

After acting as an advocate for a friend who sought biblical counseling, opportunities to counsel continued. During this time, my husband expanded his business and created an office I could use any way I chose. Prayerfully, I set it up for writing and counseling, but could find nothing (nothing!) online under the heading “design biblical counseling office.” If you are a pastor, you’re no doubt equipped, but if you’re a counselor-in-training, you’ve probably wondered how to create an effective place to meet and interact with counselees.

Here are some things I found helpful and true:
- If possible, separate your meeting space from your living space.
- Decorate with appealing colors and art work.
- Make yourself at home, but keep it clean.
- Think about your counseling style and function: would you prefer meeting at a table with chairs or in easy chairs with a coffee table? Keep it comfortable; choose furniture that accommodates different shapes and sizes (i.e. women feel vulnerable if their feet don’t touch the floor).
- Invest in scent-appeal. Keeping a consistent scent will help counselees feel at home and link learning from one session to the next. 
- Place a white board within easy reach of your chair.
- Strategically place a clock on the wall behind your counselees.
- Offer water or coffee on arrival and/or as needed.
- Provide Kleenex and pens within reach of counselees.
- Place a wastebasket near the door.
- Provide Wi-Fi if possible.
- Use white noise if you’re within earshot of others.
- Keep files: professional and personal. Create separate filing systems. Include diagrams and hand-outs at the ready for counselees.
- Keep books well-organized and within reach. You will need them.
- Be prepared to look up Scripture references in guides books or online.

Notes:

- I’ve counseled over the phone, chasing children, doing laundry and sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, but a home presents a sense of obligation for me to host and the visitor to be polite. It’s difficult to work around intrusions and distractions. This can be easily overcome, but must be intentional.
- As much as possible, make the room appealing. Avoid a sterile, clinical environment. People like to have something to look at when they’re thinking or taking time to respond. Strategically provide art or Scripture that redirects or refocuses their attention.  You will spend more time in this room than anyone, so choose things that encourage and refocus your thoughts as well.
- My office has three easy chairs with a round coffee table because I counsel women and welcome advocates. You may choose to seat a different number of people or meet at a table with chairs. The choice is a matter of function and preference.
- Most often I usher counselees to the chairs on the far side of the room and sit closest to the door. On the wall beside that chair is a dry-erase board which is very helpful for diagrams, explanations, Scripture verses or interactive discussion. Across from my chair is a clock which allows me to be polite and punctual. Keeping my word means ending appointments on time.
- The most important function of my office is at-homeness and comfort. I want counselees to feel safe, wanted, prepared for, and listened-to. It should look, feel and smell like somewhere they want to be.
- Have a place to keep files. Not only will you want to keep duplicates of counseling hand-outs and articles, you will want a protected place to keep files of counselees. You may find it helpful to keep Bible study materials, personal Bible journals, and professional files as well. I have found it best to keep separate file systems, organized alphabetically by topic or by the books of the Bible.

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
And on some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

(Jude 1:20-25 NKJV)

Writing Your Life's Letter

In our church circle, missionaries come home every few years and travel from one supporting church to another, giving stewardship reports and sharing encouragement. Years ago a missionary from India challenged us, "Each one of you should be able to stand up at any time and share fifteen-minute's worth of what God is doing in your life. If you don't have that much to share, you need to get busy." In my mind, I often stop and wonder what I would share if I had fifteen minutes to tell someone what God's doing. That's where this blog comes in.

As I consider what I would say--or write--to supporting churches and individuals, I think about what's important. How am I using the gifts and abilities God has given? What if others were footing the bill? Would that make a difference in how I use what I have?

If I had to justify the use of money this last month, how it was used for the Lord and His kingdom, how much would I have to tweak? Could I share honestly and judiciously with a clear conscience?

If I was called on to explain the use of my time--both professional and personal--it would be obvious who's important. Would my time reflect more love for God or for myself? Would someone who loves the Lord wholeheartedly provide financial support based on the way I spent my time?

And relationships. Am I intentional about building relationships with those who don't know Christ? Do I seek and invest in people regardless of how they make me feel, or whether or not I have to leave my comfort zone? What drives my relationships and the ways I choose to give of myself, even within our local church Body? Who do my friendships belong to? Me or God?

You'll notice I'm not going to answer my own questions--at least not here and now--but it's something I think of often. I ask myself, "If I sat down and wrote a letter like the apostle Paul, or my missionary friends, how would it encourage others? Would I be able to say, as Paul said, 'Follow me as I follow Christ?'" How about you? What would your letter say?

The truth of the matter is, our life is being recorded. There is an eternal record and it's not based on what others give us. It's a real-time, honest, can't hide-behind-curtain-number-two account of what the Lord has given. And, though we may not speak of it often, there will be a day we stand before Almighty God and justify the use of those gifts: time, money, relationships. May He be pleased by our dependence and trust in Him as we live each month, each day, each moment, for His glory, by His grace.

we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.

For we do not commend ourselves again to you, but give you opportunity to boast on our behalf, that you may have an answer for those who boast in appearance and not in heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; or if we are of sound mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died;  and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.

Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer.  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:6-21)
 

Homeless People Don't Buy in Bulk

As we drove down a country road, I spoke aloud, "If I were homeless I wouldn't buy birdseed." My husband gave me a strange look. We'd recently walked city streets, then left to drive through the surrounding countryside. The marquis outside a farm store advertised 40-pound bags of birdseed and I immediately pictured myself dragging a forty pound bag of birdseed along the streets of Boston. Total non-starter.

Admittedly, I enjoy comfort--and the things that bring it. I can pack a LOT in a small space (i.e. suitcase or car) and I dislike being unprepared. But if I didn't have a place for my stuff, how much would I carry all day, every day? Just enough. Just enough food. Just enough clothes. Just enough to be clean and warm and...what else? That's about it. No laptop, no smart phone, no extra gazillion shoes or hair accessories or paper products. Just enough.

And in that moment, I was reminded that I am a traveler, a pilgrim, a journeyman here on earth. My eternal home and riches and valuables are not here. They're in Heaven with Christ. He has given me everything I need without the extra weight and burden of lugging it from one place to the next. In fact, He has given me "every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 1:3). Really?!

That means I have the freedom to travel light. And permission to ask hard questions. "Why am I doing this?" "What is the benefit?" "It was on sale, does that mean I need it or want it?" And I begin to think differently about opportunities and endeavors. Is this the best use of my time? Am I obedient and responsible with the blessings and callings God has put on my life? What is most immediate and pressing? What can be laid aside?

Perhaps more convicting is the real stuff I already have. James says, "Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you!  Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten" (5:1). In other words, the stuff you have has been untended so long it's falling apart. The clothes that could have been worn are no longer useful. The things you kept for "a rainy day" are past the point of return. You sat on them so long they have given up the ghost and you have wasted not only their benefit to yourself, but their benefit to anyone. If you don't need it, give it to someone who does! Ahem. Yes. My closets and attic testify to my at-homeness, my I'm-here-for-the-long-run mentality. And stuff takes time. Time to acquire. Time to sort. Time to find. Time to dispense. Time. And that, dear self, is limited. Travel light.

Perhaps you know this song by Jim Reeves I heard many times throughout my childhood:
This world is not my home I'm just a-passin' through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.Think about it. I know I am. Who's running my life? Who's filling my cart? Me? Others? My schedule? Or God? Hmmm.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 2 Peter 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory. Ephesians 1:3-14 

Personal Worship, Corporate Benefit

 
Is it true that our everyday life is separate from our church, Sunday life? Think again. Because worship is a lot like eating.  It's personal.  What goes in is who we become.  What's been ingested is evident to others, lacking the details.  Worship and eating are both private and corporate practices.

After a piano offertory a gentleman approached me and asked, “Do you ever play for just you?"

"Of course.”  

"I thought so," he said with a smile.

When each of worships God personally, our corporate worship becomes richer, fuller, deeper.  One of my friends prays Scripture passionately, especially the Psalms. Her words are tinged with heartfelt humility, rising, falling, tapering to silence.  Before she completes a petition, my eyes and face are moist. My heart is more satisfied than before; I have experienced God differently through her love and expression than my own.

Regardless of how we minister in our local churches, when we come having set aside self, God is revealed in a powerful, personal way through His Word. What thoughts or Scriptures aid you in personal worship and ministry? They’re not yours for keeps, they’re yours to share.

 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called,  with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,  endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism;  one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. 
But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.  Therefore He says:

“When He ascended on high,
He led captivity captive,
And gave gifts to men.”

(Now this, “He ascended”—what does it mean but that He also first descended into the lower parts of the earth?  He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)

And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers,  for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,  till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,  but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—  from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. (Ephesians 4:1-16)

Children Trump...Ministry?

Being a mom has many facets—and reveals more about me as a person than me as a mom. What’s really important? What do I love—more than anything? What matters and what doesn’t? Where I spend my time and energy reveals my heart.

If you read the earlier blog on how husbands trump ministry, you know my struggle with ministry and marriage. My parenting came under conviction around that same time (and continues—maybe your parenting convictions came all at once, lucky you—twenty years later).

God used the story of Manasseh, a wicked king of Judah, to pierce my heart. Manasseh was raised by a godly father, Hezekiah—God even ran the sun backward for him—but became king at the age of 12 and rebuilt the altars and high places his father had torn down.  What happened on those altars? He “made his sons pass through the fire” (2 Kings 21:6). That’s saying it nicely.  In truth sacrificed his sons as a means of worship. Their lives for his benefit.

As I looked at my own acts of worship and service within the Church, a voice inside asked, “Sydney, where is your focus? What does your life communicate about what’s really important?” I was convicted by the many times I gave in to meeting the needs of others over and above the needs of my immediate family. There was a sense of immediate gratification and appreciate from others that didn’t happen at home.

Children are not designed to appreciate and laud me. They are a gift to make me more like Jesus. Jesus willingly gave up everything for me—his comfort, reputation, glory, even His life. Children are my opportunity to practice giving my all with or without applause. They are long-term disciples, living and learning, watching and waiting. To overlook or neglect ministry to them is to neglect my God-given responsibility.

God’s response to Manasseh and those who offered their children to false gods was this, “They have built the high places of Topheth in the Valley of Ben Nimmon to burn their sons and daughters in the fire—something I did not command, nor did it enter my mind (Jeremiah 7:31). God does not require or ask us to offer our children. He calls us to sacrifice ourselves. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1).

On a dangerous, personal note: your god may not be ministry or the church. You may sacrifice your children on the altar of career or special interests, charity, personal goals or hobbies. May each of us be challenged to love our children as God loves us.

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma….

Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord  giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:1-2, 8-21)

Fly Fishing Discipleship

I had the amazing privilege of fly fishing with my dad in the mountain streams of Wyoming a couple of weeks ago. We walked upstream in chest waders, casting and reeling. At one point, my father ahead of me, I said to myself, "Even if you took a picture, it would never be this vivid. How could you capture varied widths of grass, the scent of pine and sage, fresh oxygen and wildflowers? Who could show the swirls of clear water flecked green and gold or the dark still pools? And Dad. Look. Remember. This moment will never be the same. Study him as he finds footing, casts, plays the line, casts, and plays the line. Don't forget. It's yours--and you can keep it for later if you look at it now."

 

And as we took turns wading, working pools and rippling currents, I could see similarities between my father's instruction and discipleship. Our first time out, he told me where he was going to cast and why, threw out his line, put the rod in my hand, and, his own over mine, guided the fly downstream. The second day, he sent me ahead, "They'll be there because.... And if that doesn't work, try.... A little to the left. There you go.... Oooh, ooh! That's it! That's what you want."
Then I would watch him move ahead for a turn of his own and heard him in my head, "Slow down... lift, back... a little to the right....."

What encouraged me most were the times his cast didn't land in exactly the right place. Sometimes he caught a tree limb or bush on the bank. Sometimes he switched out bait. Sometimes he didn't catch anything. For him it was sometimes. For me it was most times. But I was both encouraged and awed. He's fly fished for sixty years. Almost weekly. I've been a few times. Sporadically. But the truth is, no matter how long, how much or how passionately he fishes, he still has to work at it. It takes effort, practice, time and multiple attempts to get the desired result.

Life, as a believer in Jesus Christ is like that. Some of us have spent decades walking upstream, seeking, casting, jigging the line. Some of us are relatively new. We're trying to get the feel of uneven rocks under our feet, to catch our balance against strong currents on smooth, slippery stones. We watch those ahead as if they're moving, living, working effortlessly. But as we come alongside one another, reaching out to those ahead or behind us, a wonderful dynamic takes place. The more experienced point out the nature and types of things that really matter. They show us where to look and how to cast. They throw out a line of their own and guide our hands until we get the hang of it.

As we spend time wading upstream, we notice it still requires effort, practice, time and multiple attempts to get it right. No one has perfected life. In fact, to add an unseen element, none of us does it on our own. God is the unseen Provider of health, resources, equipment, knowledge, and opportunity. For those who have trusted Jesus alone for salvation, He enables and guides us. He is the One the older fisher-persons direct younger ones to follow.

We caught fish in the Rockies, slipping them off the hook and back into the stream as we shared life for a couple of days. The fish were fun, but not necessary. How much more, when we see our Savior, will we cast crowns at His feet? The sorrow and journey will be but a part of the gift we lay before our Creator-God, the One who blessed us. What a wonder that He has given us each other as a reflection of His loving care.

What to do? Look ahead, look behind, up and down the river of life, and get busy making (and being) disciples!

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

God Trumps Husbands

While it's true that one's husband takes priority over ministry, the question in many minds (and one I wrestled with for a l...o...n...g time) is, "Doesn't God take priority over my husband?" Yes, of course. But not in the way(s) I once thought.

 

I thought making God a priority over my husband and family meant my personal calling/gifting/ministry was more important than our marriage and family*. After all, if we are in fact "one flesh," serving my husband is the same as serving my self, right? In my mind, putting my husband ahead of others was a self-centered way to live--and it certainly didn't spell out the greatest commandment, "... to love the LORD my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength." I went to church and Sunday school. I knew the drill, and wanted to love God more than anything! So how does that work when a husband enters one's life? It felt as if there was someone between me and God--or was there? As I prayed, learned, grew and applied Scripture, I found that there is a hierarchy to obedience and God's will. A wife is bound to serve her husband in a way that pleases the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:4, Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:17-18). Her loving care for her husband demonstrates devotion and trust in her Lord.

When I considered what it meant to keep God the priority, I found these truths pivotal whether one is  single or married:
- God deserves the first fruits of my time, labor and energy (Matthew 6:33, Exodus 22:29)
- Obedience is a sign of devotion and love (John 15:5, 14)
- Ministry is not the same as relationship (Luke 18:9-14)
- My heart motive is more important than the outcome (Hebrews 4:12, 2 Corinthians 9:7)

Add a husband and mix well. Now what?
- God deserves my best, my priority, time. When our children were small, it was naptime. Now that they're older, it happens closer to 5:30 a.m. with my first cup of coffee. This is my private time for listening and talking to God, laying out my day and examining my heart.

- Loving my husband and family ahead of myself and others is simple obedience. As a married woman and mother, my example of Christlike love and service for David (my head) and our children either exalts or maligns God's reputation (1 Timothy 5:8, Titus 2:5).
- Doing things for God is not the same as knowing and loving God. Spending time at church, being busy, and helping others is not a substitute for sitting at His feet (remember Mary and Martha? Matthew 10:38-42).
- Heart motive is more slippery than a Vaseline-coated watermelon. Serving God does not mean doing something only when I feel like it or when it gives me warm fuzzies. Serving with the right heart motive is about doing what God says because I believe (a choice of the will) God will do what He says--He will enable, empower, and reward my faith.

So what does it mean for God to trump my husband? It means:
- I will set aside time each day to be alone with God, to listen to His voice (read my Bible) and pray. I will give Him my best, most alert time.
- I will not fight my husband or go behind his back when I disagree. I will make a rational appeal and trust God with the outcome of the decision, following my husband's leadership without reservation and with much prayer (usually for my own attitude!).
- I will place our marriage relationship before other relationships and demands--for the purpose of glorifying God in service and by example.
- I will, by God's grace, try to meet my husband's needs and desires, seeking his best (Proverbs 31:12).
- I will gently and lovingly challenge my husband to love and serve God over and above myself.

And now to put it into practice. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and that is exactly what is required--a holy fear and desire to please God above all others; by His grace, for His glory, in His might.

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40

*see July 19, 2014's entry, "Husbands Trump Ministry"

Husbands Trump Ministry

"I should have told you sooner," the voice on the other end of the phone said, "but I don't think I can help with x-ministry-project (fill in the blank) because of traveling opportunities with my husband."

I freely admit that I was sad, disappointed. My mind whirred with options and ideas for "Plan B." But the conversation had to end with, "Your husband is number one. He has to win. Husbands trump personal ministry."

This is a tough one for some (maybe all) married women involved in ministry. We've been created by God with no less value than our husbands; no less importance. We have gifts and abilities and believe God has a plan and purpose to use us for good works (Ephesians 2:10). We find it both easy and taxing, rewarding and draining to give, and do, and serve. We sense a calling and great fulfillment in living out our design. Then, in the midst of it all--sometimes at a point of crisis--the world turns upside down when our husbands have a need, a calling, or simply confront us with our priorities. In that moment we are faced with the inevitability of letting someone down.

When our family was young, I found myself involved in many hours of ministry weekly as the commander of our 200+ AWANA club, director of Vacation Bible School and various other Bible study and music ministries. My husband, David, and our children were suffering--while I was serving. I am ashamed to share it, reminded of what my choices cost those I love most. The Lord graciously picked our family up, moved us across the States and David asked me not to serve. In goodness, God gave me the grace to agree. Over and over, I mentally wrung my hands in frustration, fighting bitterness and resentment, longing for the praise, respect and attention I was addicted to. It was long, dry desert experience as God--through the practice of submission to David--taught me that my value is not in my works, but His. Jesus is the measure of my value; His sacrificial life, death and resurrection speak infinite worth.

In the years since, I have moved back into ministry opportunities, but with an awareness and burden for our family over and above those from other directions. Yes, service to the local church, the community and individuals is important. But as a married woman, my first priority, my primary calling, is to my husband. The love and care I have for him reflects my love for the Savior--for both myself and others. In submitting to my husband, I am trusting God to meet my needs through him, according to the original plan, not in spite of him. In following David as the Lord directs, I find peace in knowing and doing God's will. He will provide for others with or without me. The real question is, will I choose to obey God or my own reasoning and desires?

We've been married 25 years and I deeply love, admire and respect the way David protects and cherishes me. With time, I have begun to realize that I am the only one who can help him. I have a greater understanding of his needs. Only I know, can anticipate, am enabled and privileged to be his personal, one-of-a-kind assistant. What a marvelous arrangement God has made in creating male and female to represent His image!

When extended family, entertainment, friends, or even ministry throw their hand in the ring, demanding your time and gifting, remember: husbands trump ministry.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 4:22-33)

Trouble, is that You?

Have you noticed it's easier to talk about suffering when you're not? We generally don't lay it all out at prayer meetings when ours is the child in ICU or outright rebellion, when we're the one fighting the hourly battle of eating disorders or self-injury, when unexpected loss of life or job pulls the rug out from under our lives. It's the people whose lives are rocked, not upside down, who share intimate details for the prayer list and other's ears.

How I have been blessed by those who endure, who keep their eyes on Christ, who cling to peace and contentment in the face of the unknown. Those who suffer with trust speak words of hope, pray prayers of expectation, and wait. They wait. on. the. Lord.

I was reminded, as I watch suffering friends--and then as I read this week about David 's life under threat from Saul--what a godly response to difficulty looks like. David's response, recorded in Psalms, is both refreshing and surprising when I look at what he thinks, want and does compared to my mental list of to-do's. His "big plan" does not include trying to convince Saul of his innocence, working to solve the problem (worrying) or manipulating people and circumstances. Instead, he says:

- my heart will not fear, I am confident because God is the strength, the light, the stronghold of my life;  

- What do I want? To behold the beauty of the LORD, to meditate  in His temple and find safety in His presence.

- When He has brought me safely to His presence (more confidence), I will offer sacrifices with joy and sing, sing praises to the LORD,

- Until then, I will cry with my voice, seek His face, wait for the LORD, be strong, take courage, and wait for the LORD.

David did not set out on a conquest or command armies or run from trouble. He sought the LORD, he set his eyes, heart and focus on the LORD.

What does this mean for me? When faced with trouble, the answer is obviously unnatural. I need to stop (not run). I need to look to the Lord (not my own thoughts, other's motivations or possible changes in circumstance) In that moment, I need to stay put and wait on the Lord; to look for Him and seek Him with courage and strength. I am certain that if trouble's not here today, it's not far behind or ahead. It's coming. As God is gracious and I am obedient, may I set my heart and mind on His unfailing love and faithfulness.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.

Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27

 

* If you would like to study Psalm 27 in depth, I highly recommend Paul David Tripp's book, A Shelter in the Time of Storm.

Faith Walking

We walked around the lake in the afternoon sun and breeze this week, blisters forming as I tried to keep up with her (smiley face).

 

"I don't know if I should tell you this," my dear friend hesitated. Encouraged, she continued, "I have hope for my kids because of yours." And I laughed.  Our children are real children. When they were younger, I lost track of daily corrections, "visits," and Bible verses. My prayers were more jibberish mumbo-jumbo than insightful, listen-and-weep petitions.

As we walked, I threw my hands in air, "Praise the Lord!" Because she and I--and perhaps you--know that a parent has limited influence and control over the choices our children make. I remember saying to a little one who sat on the edge of our bed, avoiding my eyes, "Sweetheart, I can't make you obey. You are the boss of you. My job is to make rules and consequences that help you do what's right, because I'm the mom. My job is to obey God and your job is to obey me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't care if you obeyed or not. But because I love you, I will help you want to obey by making and keeping consequences."

And as my friend and I walked around the lake, I encouraged her that by disciplining our children, we are not creating an outcome, we are simply walking by faith--like Abraham and the Israelites of old. They offered sacrifices day after day, week after week, year after year but those sacrifices could not effectively remove sin (Hebrews 10:11). It was their faith that pleased God. Because of their faith, He forgave their sin and replaced it with Jesus' righteousness (Hebrews 10:12, Romans 4:2-3, 1 Corinthians 5:21). In the same way, as we love and discipline our children without seeing change or immediate results, we are trusting God in faith, asking Him humbly to honor our efforts and obedience.

We finished our walk around the lake, only to return home and continue the longer, callous-producing walk of faith.

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”

 

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

 

Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12:5-12).

 

 

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.

Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (James 2:14-26)

 

 

It's in the Application

Some teens and I spent an afternoon at the beach this week and had a wonderful time--until an hour later when we felt the effects of the sun. We used sunscreen, but our application was amiss; some intentionally, some not. As we climbed into bed that night, moaning and groaning carried across the room. There are still moans and groans a day later--and some are my own.

(No, this is not one of us. Thanks, Wikipedia, for the sample photo.)

God's Word is much the same. We can apply it liberally, sparsely, or not at all. The sun shines and the same hardships, trials, and blessings fall. Yes, God sovereignly blesses and disciplines His own, but we are not exempt from the realities of life on planet Earth. The effects of hardship and blessing are felt differently, however, based on our application of God's truth. It's what we believe about God and His Word that makes the difference. We can carry it in our purse, take it out and read the directions, even promote it to others but if we don't apply to ourselves--properly and liberally--there is no personal benefit.

On the beach, we had varying beliefs about the effects of the sun and sunscreen. Some of us wanted the appearance of sun exposure--we wanted to look affected and blessed (but the hidden cost was pain, discomfort, and harm). Some of us thought we were protected from the sun's rays but failed to apply sunscreen as heavily or thoroughly as needed. The sun was relentless. It didn't choose one over another or show partiality. It did its job and shone its best.

The world, sin and our own sinful nature will do their job and do it well. It's what I believe about God and how I apply His Word, the gospel, to my life that makes it bearable, that makes me victorious. If I think I can handle life on my own, I will get burned. If I trust Him, despite the circumstances, He will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus and give peace (Phil. 4:6-7). The apostle Paul referred to spiritual armor instead of sunscreen. Armor or sunscreen. Either way, it's all in the application.

^"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;  praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints...."(Ephesians 6:10-18)

 

The Futility of Being a Lone Banana

Why has it taken this long to realize some things (many? most?) are what they are. There's no changing or fixing or finagling. It. just. is.

While on vacation last week I enjoyed (not quite the right word, but it sounds spiritual) Elyse Fitzpatrick's book, Helper by Design: God's Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage. And although it's not the primary message of her book, the biggest message I've gotten thus far is this:
Your husband is not perfect. You are not perfect. Surprise! Your life is not perfect. And that's exactly what God intended. So stop trying to fix your husband. Ask God to show you what He had in mind and get ready to love, serve and follow. God created us--women that we are--to love, serve and follow our husbands the same way the Church was created to love, serve and follow her Savior. Oh, wow. That's where the change happens. Right. here. in. me. Of course, I knew that; I just didn't want to hear it.

So it's not rocket science, but I've found life is easier and there's less tension when I admit that some things are the way they are. Yes, it applies to marriage--but I've found it applies to so many other parts of life: wanting to be the life of the party when being the wallflower is a better fit, wanting to sleep in the morning when circumstances prevent it, wishing I had this or could do that... And in the midst of it all, Jesus seems to say, "Peace, be still."

How like Christ to look at my husband who made a wrong turn and say, "We'll get there. No worries." How like Christ to hold and receive a rejected child instead of trying to work change or bring a solution. How like Christ to trust the Father instead of being the hero. How like Christ to hold my tongue instead of correcting or looking important. And how often I fail.

This week, this month, my goal is acceptance. I'm praying for the ability to look at a situation from God's perspective and ask how to respond before I jump into what our youth group calls "Lone Banana" mode. To go it alone, to (in pride and with selfish motives) become the hero and fix the problem, does not glorify God--or work change in me. But to do my best, to accept my limitations, and trust Him with the outcome: that is where Christ increases and I decrease.

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

 

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?
 
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”;  whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. (James 4)