Saturday, August 16, 2014

Fly Fishing Discipleship

I had the amazing privilege of fly fishing with my dad in the mountain streams of Wyoming a couple of weeks ago. We walked upstream in chest waders, casting and reeling. At one point, my father ahead of me, I said to myself, "Even if you took a picture, it would never be this vivid. How could you capture varied widths of grass, the scent of pine and sage, fresh oxygen and wildflowers? Who could show the swirls of clear water flecked green and gold or the dark still pools? And Dad. Look. Remember. This moment will never be the same. Study him as he finds footing, casts, plays the line, casts, and plays the line. Don't forget. It's yours--and you can keep it for later if you look at it now."

 

And as we took turns wading, working pools and rippling currents, I could see similarities between my father's instruction and discipleship. Our first time out, he told me where he was going to cast and why, threw out his line, put the rod in my hand, and, his own over mine, guided the fly downstream. The second day, he sent me ahead, "They'll be there because.... And if that doesn't work, try.... A little to the left. There you go.... Oooh, ooh! That's it! That's what you want."
Then I would watch him move ahead for a turn of his own and heard him in my head, "Slow down... lift, back... a little to the right....."

What encouraged me most were the times his cast didn't land in exactly the right place. Sometimes he caught a tree limb or bush on the bank. Sometimes he switched out bait. Sometimes he didn't catch anything. For him it was sometimes. For me it was most times. But I was both encouraged and awed. He's fly fished for sixty years. Almost weekly. I've been a few times. Sporadically. But the truth is, no matter how long, how much or how passionately he fishes, he still has to work at it. It takes effort, practice, time and multiple attempts to get the desired result.

Life, as a believer in Jesus Christ is like that. Some of us have spent decades walking upstream, seeking, casting, jigging the line. Some of us are relatively new. We're trying to get the feel of uneven rocks under our feet, to catch our balance against strong currents on smooth, slippery stones. We watch those ahead as if they're moving, living, working effortlessly. But as we come alongside one another, reaching out to those ahead or behind us, a wonderful dynamic takes place. The more experienced point out the nature and types of things that really matter. They show us where to look and how to cast. They throw out a line of their own and guide our hands until we get the hang of it.

As we spend time wading upstream, we notice it still requires effort, practice, time and multiple attempts to get it right. No one has perfected life. In fact, to add an unseen element, none of us does it on our own. God is the unseen Provider of health, resources, equipment, knowledge, and opportunity. For those who have trusted Jesus alone for salvation, He enables and guides us. He is the One the older fisher-persons direct younger ones to follow.

We caught fish in the Rockies, slipping them off the hook and back into the stream as we shared life for a couple of days. The fish were fun, but not necessary. How much more, when we see our Savior, will we cast crowns at His feet? The sorrow and journey will be but a part of the gift we lay before our Creator-God, the One who blessed us. What a wonder that He has given us each other as a reflection of His loving care.

What to do? Look ahead, look behind, up and down the river of life, and get busy making (and being) disciples!

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

Sunday, July 27, 2014

God Trumps Husbands

While it's true that one's husband takes priority over ministry, the question in many minds (and one I wrestled with for a l...o...n...g time) is, "Doesn't God take priority over my husband?" Yes, of course. But not in the way(s) I once thought.

 
I thought making God a priority over my husband and family meant my personal calling/gifting/ministry was more important than our marriage and family*. After all, if we are in fact "one flesh," serving my husband is the same as serving my self, right? In my mind, putting my husband ahead of others was a self-centered way to live--and it certainly didn't spell out the greatest commandment, "... to love the LORD my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength." I went to church and Sunday school. I knew the drill, and wanted to love God more than anything! So how does that work when a husband enters one's life? It felt as if there was someone between me and God--or was there? As I prayed, learned, grew and applied Scripture, I found that there is a hierarchy to obedience and God's will. A wife is bound to serve her husband in a way that pleases the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:4, Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:17-18). Her loving care for her husband demonstrates devotion and trust in her Lord.

When I considered what it meant to keep God the priority, I found these truths pivotal whether one is  single or married:
- God deserves the first fruits of my time, labor and energy (Matthew 6:33, Exodus 22:29)
- Obedience is a sign of devotion and love (John 15:5, 14)
- Ministry is not the same as relationship (Luke 18:9-14)
- My heart motive is more important than the outcome (Hebrews 4:12, 2 Corinthians 9:7)

Add a husband and mix well. Now what?
- God deserves my best, my priority, time. When our children were small, it was naptime. Now that they're older, it happens closer to 5:30 a.m. with my first cup of coffee. This is my private time for listening and talking to God, laying out my day and examining my heart.


- Loving my husband and family ahead of myself and others is simple obedience. As a married woman and mother, my example of Christlike love and service for David (my head) and our children either exalts or maligns God's reputation (1 Timothy 5:8, Titus 2:5).
- Doing things for God is not the same as knowing and loving God. Spending time at church, being busy, and helping others is not a substitute for sitting at His feet (remember Mary and Martha? Matthew 10:38-42).
- Heart motive is more slippery than a Vaseline-coated watermelon. Serving God does not mean doing something only when I feel like it or when it gives me warm fuzzies. Serving with the right heart motive is about doing what God says because I believe (a choice of the will) God will do what He says--He will enable, empower, and reward my faith.

So what does it mean for God to trump my husband? It means:
- I will set aside time each day to be alone with God, to listen to His voice (read my Bible) and pray. I will give Him my best, most alert time.
- I will not fight my husband or go behind his back when I disagree. I will make a rational appeal and trust God with the outcome of the decision, following my husband's leadership without reservation and with much prayer (usually for my own attitude!).
- I will place our marriage relationship before other relationships and demands--for the purpose of glorifying God in service and by example.
- I will, by God's grace, try to meet my husband's needs and desires, seeking his best (Proverbs 31:12).
- I will gently and lovingly challenge my husband to love and serve God over and above myself.

And now to put it into practice. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and that is exactly what is required--a holy fear and desire to please God above all others; by His grace, for His glory, in His might.

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40

*see July 19, 2014's entry, "Husbands Trump Ministry"

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Husbands Trump Ministry

"I should have told you sooner," the voice on the other end of the phone said, "but I don't think I can help with x-ministry-project (fill in the blank) because of traveling opportunities with my husband."

I freely admit that I was sad, disappointed. My mind whirred with options and ideas for "Plan B." But the conversation had to end with, "Your husband is number one. He has to win. Husbands trump personal ministry."


This is a tough one for some (maybe all) married women involved in ministry. We've been created by God with no less value than our husbands; no less importance. We have gifts and abilities and believe God has a plan and purpose to use us for good works (Ephesians 2:10). We find it both easy and taxing, rewarding and draining to give, and do, and serve. We sense a calling and great fulfillment in living out our design. Then, in the midst of it all--sometimes at a point of crisis--the world turns upside down when our husbands have a need, a calling, or simply confront us with our priorities. In that moment we are faced with the inevitability of letting someone down.

When our family was young, I found myself involved in many hours of ministry weekly as the commander of our 200+ AWANA club, director of Vacation Bible School and various other Bible study and music ministries. My husband, David, and our children were suffering--while I was serving. I am ashamed to share it, reminded of what my choices cost those I love most. The Lord graciously picked our family up, moved us across the States and David asked me not to serve. In goodness, God gave me the grace to agree. Over and over, I mentally wrung my hands in frustration, fighting bitterness and resentment, longing for the praise, respect and attention I was addicted to. It was long, dry desert experience as God--through the practice of submission to David--taught me that my value is not in my works, but His. Jesus is the measure of my value; His sacrificial life, death and resurrection speak infinite worth.

In the years since, I have moved back into ministry opportunities, but with an awareness and burden for our family over and above those from other directions. Yes, service to the local church, the community and individuals is important. But as a married woman, my first priority, my primary calling, is to my husband. The love and care I have for him reflects my love for the Savior--for both myself and others. In submitting to my husband, I am trusting God to meet my needs through him, according to the original plan, not in spite of him. In following David as the Lord directs, I find peace in knowing and doing God's will. He will provide for others with or without me. The real question is, will I choose to obey God or my own reasoning and desires?

We've been married 25 years and I deeply love, admire and respect the way David protects and cherishes me. With time, I have begun to realize that I am the only one who can help him. I have a greater understanding of his needs. Only I know, can anticipate, am enabled and privileged to be his personal, one-of-a-kind assistant. What a marvelous arrangement God has made in creating male and female to represent His image!

When extended family, entertainment, friends, or even ministry throw their hand in the ring, demanding your time and gifting, remember: husbands trump ministry.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 4:22-33)