The Futility of Being a Lone Banana

Why has it taken this long to realize some things (many? most?) are what they are. There's no changing or fixing or finagling. It. just. is.

While on vacation last week I enjoyed (not quite the right word, but it sounds spiritual) Elyse Fitzpatrick's book, Helper by Design: God's Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage. And although it's not the primary message of her book, the biggest message I've gotten thus far is this:
Your husband is not perfect. You are not perfect. Surprise! Your life is not perfect. And that's exactly what God intended. So stop trying to fix your husband. Ask God to show you what He had in mind and get ready to love, serve and follow. God created us--women that we are--to love, serve and follow our husbands the same way the Church was created to love, serve and follow her Savior. Oh, wow. That's where the change happens. Right. here. in. me. Of course, I knew that; I just didn't want to hear it.

So it's not rocket science, but I've found life is easier and there's less tension when I admit that some things are the way they are. Yes, it applies to marriage--but I've found it applies to so many other parts of life: wanting to be the life of the party when being the wallflower is a better fit, wanting to sleep in the morning when circumstances prevent it, wishing I had this or could do that... And in the midst of it all, Jesus seems to say, "Peace, be still."

How like Christ to look at my husband who made a wrong turn and say, "We'll get there. No worries." How like Christ to hold and receive a rejected child instead of trying to work change or bring a solution. How like Christ to trust the Father instead of being the hero. How like Christ to hold my tongue instead of correcting or looking important. And how often I fail.

This week, this month, my goal is acceptance. I'm praying for the ability to look at a situation from God's perspective and ask how to respond before I jump into what our youth group calls "Lone Banana" mode. To go it alone, to (in pride and with selfish motives) become the hero and fix the problem, does not glorify God--or work change in me. But to do my best, to accept my limitations, and trust Him with the outcome: that is where Christ increases and I decrease.

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

 

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?
 
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”;  whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. (James 4)

Bring Down the House!

It's true. After encouraging you (and myself) to read the Bible every day, this week it hasn't happened. Sure, there were upsets in my schedule--and trips out of town--and children home from school--and it's easy to give in to change while letting important things slip.

As I read Joshua 5-6 this morning I was reminded that acts of regular obedience precede a work of God's power and direction. If I want God to use me and show me and reveal Himself, I need to do what I know to do--in the little every day things.

God brought Israel out of Egypt. He wanted good things for them: freedom from their enemies, generous amounts of food, resources, peace, prosperity. It was their lack of faith and failure to obey that kept them from outstanding blessings. What kind of God abundantly blesses people who fail to acknowledge Him? Would a good God promote laziness and doubt?

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

After forty years in the wilderness, God was ready to do big things--to make good on His promises. He gave this new generation an opportunity to step out in faith and do what He had asked forty years before: be circumcised and observe the Passover. Apparently their parents didn't take God seriously enough or love Him enough to declare Him through the care of their children.

There's some tough application here. Do I love and serve God in the way(s) I care for my family? Do my lifestyle and choices declare me a different person than the rest of the world--even if peculiar? Do I make time to remember and celebrate the faithfulness of God with my community (church body) weekly, regularly?

If I'm unwilling to love and serve God in my family, daily life, and regular worship there's a good chance I'm missing out on some pretty amazing blessings. God won't lead me to walk around Jericho in quiet, steadfast faith--with outstanding reward and testimony--if I'm unwilling to sit down and spend time with Him regularly. It's only when I learn to obey in the little things that He'll bring the house down--or the city, or established sinful strongholds and entrenched sin. God is able. Do what you know to do. Trust Him with the rest.

“So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’  His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’ He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

“Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed.  And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’

“But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest.  Therefore take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.

‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.  And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ (Matthew 25:20-30)

10 Reasons to Read Your Bible Every Day

"Read your Bible, pray every day, pray every day, pray every day. Read your Bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow!"

A couple of weeks ago I sang that to a high school teachers whose days are full. Pressure is on and down time is out of reach. He looked at me and admitted, "I certainly pray every day, but I haven't been reading my Bible."

Here are a few reasons to read your Bible every day, even if it's not a V-8-hits-the-spot kind of passage:

1. Reading my Bible every day makes God a priority. When it's one of the things I do because it needs to be done--brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work, read my Bible--it's important. Reading my Bible is worth making time for. (Matthew 6:33)

2. Reading my Bible every day resets my mind. You and I are not God (we know this, but how often we assume we know what God wants because: fill in the blank). The only true way to think, speak and act like Jesus is to spend time in His Word, reading His mind. (1 Corinthians 2:9-16)

3. Reading the Bible every day is proactive. I have no idea what trouble lies ahead, but as I systematically read the Bible, God shows me how to handle both present and future situations. I may not know what to expect, but I know which way to go and where to look for help. (Matthew 6:34, Psalm 119:105)

4. Reading my Bible every day gives me peace. Years ago I began drawing boxes around text in my Bible that describes who God is and what He does. Now my eyes and heart are drawn to His might and power. My faith grows and I enter the day knowing my God is big enough to shut mouths that devour, remove impossible obstacles, restore life, and change hearts. If I think I have a need but "He doesn't meet it, I didn't need it." That's a great comfort each and every day. (Philippians 4:6-7)

5. Reading my Bible every day gives me hope. As I look at who God is and what He has accomplished, I begin to understand that He has a purpose for me, despite my shortcomings and failures. Even at the darkest hour--when His Son hung, humiliated, bearing the burden of my sin--He was the God of hope. The darkest hour is the One in which He is most needed and revealed. Jesus was raised from the dead and brings newness of life. Jesus gives me hope. (Romans 15:13)

6. Reading the Bible every day helps me focus on what's really important. There are many examples in the Bible of people whose priorities were out of whack. Mine are, too, when I don't study and read God's Word. When the things that matter to God matter to me, I am able to live intentionally and purposefully--doing laundry, serving others, even taking a nap! (Psalm 37:2-9)

7. Reading God's Word engages my mind. God does not expect me to follow an unknown path apart from wisdom and discretion. He wants me be wise, to keep my wits, to be aware of the dangers and distractions of life. Reading God's Word every day fills my head with knowledge I can get nowhere else. (Proverbs 3:13-26)

8. Reading God's Word gives me strength. My physical strength is limited--and as I age, it's becoming more apparent.  The greater threat to life is not physical strength, but spiritual strength. Without initiative, motivation, and ambition we don't move forward. Through His Word, God strengthens my inner man and gives me a burning passion to serve Him. He gives strength for my day as I renew my commitment to Him and His purpose for my life.(Ephesians 3:14-21)

9. Reading God's Word every day reveals the truth. Google News may have updates on the world's condition, but God's Word is timeless. The truth found in Scripture never changes, never gets old, and is steadfast regardless of the changes in my personal life, community, nation, and world. There is nothing man has to offer that is changeless and true apart from what is revealed in the Bible. (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8)

10. Reading the Bible every day shows my love and devotion for God. He speaks to me through His Word and I respond in prayer. We have conversations and share ourselves through this incredible means of communication. Not reading my Bible is like having a one-sided conversation. We all know those are rarely effective and long-lasting. Jesus said, "Abide in me and I in you" (John 15:4).

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. 

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full...."

John 15:4-11