Friday, November 9, 2012

Why Didn't I Get That?!




Today my husband visited a friend who was dissatisfied with his home as compared to another's. "Were you happy with your home when you bought it?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Did you pay a fair price?"
"Yes."
"Did it have the features you asked for?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you unhappy?"
The truth, he realized, was comparison. Comparison robbed him of contentment.
The same is true in ministry. Sometimes I become discontent, not because God has not given me good things, but because I see what someone else has and it changes my expectations. Last Monday Teresa came for our weekly prayer time, and listened to the burdens of my heart.  We shared the weight of personal ministry, Scripture and time in prayer. After she left, I continued my readings in Matthew.  Chapter 20: Laborers in the Vineyard.  Ah, yes, the root of discontent and envy is not the Master, but my expectations.
Here are some thoughts from Matthew 20:1-16:
v. 10-11, 15; “When those hired first came, they thought that they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius. When they received it they grumbled at the landowner…. But he answered, ‘Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?’”
Impression: The hired men received what they agreed upon—a denarius for a day's work. They were treated fairly by a generous landowner. They began the day on sound footing, working hour upon hour with a reasonable expectation of payment. At the end of the day, they were not cheated or robbed--they were paid. But when they saw their payment compared to others, dissatisfaction surfaced. Even though they received what was agreed upon, their expectations had changed and they reacted to the expectation instead of reality.
They had been content. Now they were envious. They had been committed workers. Now they were resentful. They had worked alongside one another. Now they were critical. They had jumped at a wonderful opportunity. Now they were ungrateful. Expectations, real or imagined, met or unmet, often make way for sinful thoughts, behaviors and choices. The change in expectation (“Look what he got! Surely I’ll get more.”) led to sinful behavior (envy, criticism, discontent).
Application: How often is my disappointment and discontent a function of comparison? God has given what He promised. He has lavished me with lovingkindness, forgiveness, full access to His throne, peace, hope and joy. God has provided and will provide. He is the God of His Word. Very simply, my unhappiness and discontent is most often a function of what others have, not of what God hasn’t given. Envy breeds discontent, ingratitude, resentment, bitterness, dissension, and anger. It has nothing to do with other people or circumstances. It is, much of the time, a change of my expectations—and the fact that they are not met in my time or my way. It is more about what someone else has, not what I don't have.
Discontent is the result of focus. When I am discontent, the question to ask is, "Where are my eyes? Are they on the Giver or the receiver?" When my eyes are on the Giver, I have all I need and more.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

When Busy is Too Busy

Two comments made on call-in radio shows yesterday stuck in my head.  A woman cooed, "Jesus never turned away anybody."  And a centenarian declared, "Everything you do is a choice."
So, I can serve everybody and be like Jesus.  That is a choice.  But is it the best choice?  And is that really true?  This morning I realized that being like Jesus is about more than people.  It's about more than service.  It's about managing my life in a way that honors and pleases Him; being a vessel fitted for His use.
Miles J. Stanford gives new perspective to the this concept when he writes:
"Our Father is not seeking to abolish us as human beings and have the Lord Jesus replace us.  He is seeking to restore us as human personalities so that we may be the vehicle through which Christ will express Himself.  Therefore you find that whenever God gets hold of a man, instead of abolishing his personality, He makes it what He intended it to be.
"Redemption is the recovery of the man, Not the destruction of the man.  And when the Lord Jesus in us is brought to the place He is aiming for, there will not be an atom of the old life left, but the man will be left--glorified in union with the Lord Jesus Christ."  (The Complete Green Letters, p. 180).
Then, this morning after reading in Matthew, as I blended pumpkin bread ingredients for our ladies' workday at church, I remembered my own checkpoint for being too busy.  I am too busy when my weaknesses bite me in the behind.
My priority relationship is with God.  When that time is pushed aside, when I don't have control of my thoughts or the desire to invest in Him each morning and throughout the day, I'm too busy.
My next priority is my husband.  When I am unable to serve him and put him ahead of my schedule and other demands, I'm too busy. (This is my gotcha! and, at the moment, I'm too busy....)
Weight has always been a struggle.  When I fail to eat right and exercise because "I don't have time," I'm too busy.
Each child has a full, one-hundred-percent-experience of life.  When I don't hear or register what is important to them and what is happening in their hearts and minds, I'm too busy.
And our home.  I enjoy having a clean, orderly home.  And I don't even mind the work.  It's just that other things seems more important....  When I'm too busy to manage our home with cleanliness and excellence, I'm too busy.
Now for the hard part:  saying "no."  I think that was in Jesus' vocabulary, too.  It all comes down to deciding who is most important.  When I fill my life with things that make me feel good, with people who pat me on the back, with activities that tickle my fancy, I am pleasing myself.  When I allow Christ to control those areas where I am lacking, my life reflects His approval and design as most important and I am pleasing Him.  How does that ditty go?  "Just two choices on the shelf, choosing God or choosing self" (Ken Collier).

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Gift of Gratitude

All four children and I traveled to Wyoming last weekend to see my family, especially my ailing grandmother.  While there, my dad thanked me for tools we've given him that travel in his to-the-hills vehicle.  My heart filled, knowing that he not only remembers what we gave, but continues to be reminded of us.  I was touched by his acknowledgment and remembrance of our gifts.
And just as quickly, I was convicted of my own ingratitude.  How often do I thank God and others?  For gifts of each day? For surroundings, family and friends?  My ingratitude is a measure of self-focus.  I am more concerned with myself, my agenda and my own musings than others.  Or God.  I do not give thanks.  I do not remember His goodness.  I do not acknowledge the gifts or the Giver.  As a result, life is strained, stressful and surprisingly empty.
The experience with my dad reminded me of a discussion I had with a biblical counselor the day we left.  He said, "What do we get when God is glorified?  We get joy."  The beauty of creation or the working out of redemption is an indescribable blessing.  In the moment we see it, we are full.  Fulfilled.  Content.  Complete.  The revelation of God's goodness, majesty and power speaks.  His Spirit within convicts.  And we experience the kingdom of God.  Heaven.  Joy. 
Even as Jesus was transfigured on the mountain, his disciples saw a glimpse of His glory and fell on their faces in worship.  He is worth the praise, worth the thanks, worth the glory and honor.  And in that moment, we understand the small part we play.  His who He is apart from my existence.  He does not need my worship, but His greatness and holiness demand it.  My heart bows in reverence, not because it is mine to give, but because it is His due.  Praise is given when we have seen the Lord.  We know He that is--He that is hidden, behind the veil--and we are blessed.
In the difficult days of life, in the moments of despair, I am blessed to look upon the Lord.  To see Him high and lifted up, to see Him exalted, to visit His glory is to have joy inexpressible.  And as my grandmother struggles to manage pain and loneliness, we redirected her to that very God--the One who blesses us through our praise, the One who gives as He receives (read Psalm 71 to encourage the aged saints).  He gives grace...and joy...and hope.  He is.