If I Play My Flute, Will He Come?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010 Matthew 11:1-19


Verses 4-5, 16-17: Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them…. But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places, who call out to the other children, and say, “We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.”

Observation: Jesus declared His work for what it was—it was visible, it was real, but the problems and difficulties of life continued. John expected Jesus to fix things—his things, his life, his circumstances—but Jesus came to do the will of the Father. He healed, He forgave, He taught. His work was evident, but it wasn’t all that John had in mind. The people also had expectations of Jesus—they wanted Him to play their games, to be part of their world. Instead, He did His Father’s will; He invited them to be part of His world.

Application: Why do I expect Jesus to fix all of my problems? He continues to do the will of the Father. He continues to live a life of humility (after all, He intercedes on my behalf—wouldn’t He have more interesting, important things to do in heaven than pray?! For stinky sinner people?!). He continues to change the hearts of men. He doesn’t play my games. He doesn’t bend to my will. He doesn’t dishonor Himself by becoming part of my world, but He calls me apart to His. He sets me apart to do His will, by His Spirit He empowers and enables me to do become part of His world, to do His work. And I would rather muck around in mine? Lord, forgive me for questioning your amazing work, for playing my flute and expecting you to dance to my tune, for wallowing in self-pity and inviting you to enter in. Please continue your transforming, sanctifying work in my life. Help me to hear and see Your will and way in my life and the lives of those around me. Give me a heart of worship and submission, in the name of the One who saves, in Jesus name. Amen.

Life in the Spotlight

Yesterday I prepared an article for submission, then went back to an old file to grab information for the cover letter.  God is so good to remind us of Himself.  Conviction fell as I read this paragraph:

My beliefs about the Bible:
"My life and acts of service are a result of Christ’s working, not my own. I firmly believe that the Word of God, together with the working of His Spirit, is sufficient for my needs. This Word of God is useful for doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness to fully equip each believer for the good works God has prepared (II Timothy 3:16-17, Ephesians 2:10). I believe it is the Word of Truth (II Timothy 2:15, John 17:17), that it is quick, powerful, and useful for discerning our thoughts and intents (Hebrews 4:12). God’s Word is an offensive weapon against spiritual deceit (Ephesians 6:17), and it keeps us from offending our Father (Psalm 119:11). The Bible is accurate, infallible and eternal. The proper use of God’s Word builds up His Body and accomplishes His will and purpose (Isaiah 55:11)."

Only God.  Only God can take these things we do, these things we say, and turn the spotlight on Himself.  As we continue in ministry--in life--may it that our lives and acts of service continually reflect Jesus Christ Himself.

Memoir of a Once Nice Person

Perhaps you’ve heard it said (or said it yourself), “Ruby-Toes is such a nice person!” Or maybe you are that nice person—the one people like to have on committees, the one who is the first to compliment a new hairstyle or accommodate a different idea.
Nice people are often good listeners and they have a lot of personal contacts. But, as a once-nice person, I’m here to tell you otherwise. When it comes to nice people, what you see is probably not what you get.
As a once-nice person, I have been convicted that niceness is not good. It is not biblical. It is not right. Unless you have already stumbled upon this little-known truth, you may be reading with your mouth agape, in absolute shock. “What’s wrong with being nice?” you ask. Let me tell you my woeful tale.
I was born at a very young age, the oldest of four children, to a pair of up-and-coming professionals. A compliant child, my standard answer to any question of preference was, “I don’t care.” My parents taught me well. Grandma would ask, “Would you like hot cocoa?”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care? Either you would or wouldn’t. Would you like some?”
Next standard answer, “Whatever’s easiest for you, Grandma.”
And so life went. It was a blessing to be born with the desire to please. I never rebelled as a teenager (all the options seemed self-destructive or inconvenient). I married early and enjoyed the generosity of a wonderful husband.  Rather than express my preferences, I was proud when I pleased him: “Just give me a template and  watch what I can do.” I was convinced that pleasing others was what Jesus would do. He would give it all up—even the little things—to serve others.

And then, (drum roll please), I saw examples of Jesus not pleasing others, times He disagreed with and defied others. He never said, “It doesn’t matter,” or “whatever’s easiest for you.” He bowed His will to the Father’s, and only the Father's. Oh, boy.

I weighed what I received in return being nice: kind words, added responsibility, smiles, unfair advantages. And I wondered, “What if I wasn’t nice?” Would people still like me? Would they give me what I want? Would they give me what I want?! There it was—my heart's motivation! It was easy to be nice and give in to others’ wants and demands because it gave me power.  The opportunity to get things for myself, to manipulate.  All these years, I had covertly been getting my own way very “nicely.”

Praise the Lord, He intervened. But it was a very trying, difficult number of years. I learned that God designed my preferences  There is nothing sinful about liking things a certain way. I don’t know if this change was harder on me or on my husband. I started to experiment and communicate likes and dislikes. After being married nearly twenty years, my husband discovered he was married to someone he didn’t know—someone who didn’t know herself!

I had to fight the urge to be agreeable all the time. I had to fight the urge to be liked, and wanted, and pleasant. It wasn’t that I wanted trouble, but I wanted freedom; freedom to make choices, freedom from lies, freedom to be myself. And that was okay, because that’s how God made me. I also wanted to be obedient—obedient to God first and foremost instead of being obedient to others’ whims or my own hidden agendas. Whew.

Now, now that I’m not nice, life is a little more hairy. It’s more challenging at times. I’m learning to roll with conflict. To agree to disagree. To learn how to respond when others say “no” directly instead of indirectly. And, overall, I believe I’m more trustworthy. I can be honest with you about how you look, where we should go for lunch, how much I’ve prayed for you lately, and where God is working in my life. I can love you more sincerely because I am willing to acknowledge and overlook your faults instead of bending to your will and then holding a grudge against you for not doing things my way (which I was unwilling or unable to communicate). Though it’s been difficult, I have acknowledged that the base problem is not others, but me: wanting what I want because I want it.

And now, now that I’m not nice, God is showing me all the big and little items I hid behind “curtain number two” the whole time I was pleasing others instead of Him. God’s description of the young boy, Samuel, has been a lifeline to me, “But Samuel was ministering before the LORD -a boy wearing a linen ephod.” (1 Samuel 2:18) Samuel wasn’t ministering to Eli. He wasn’t ministering to the people. He wasn’t even ministering to his parents. Samuel was ministering before the Lord—and others were blessed by His service.

As I continue to work at overcoming niceness, that is my aim: to minister before the Lord, and Him alone. If you are struggling with being a nice person, I challenge you to begin by being honest with God. Spend time in prayer and His Word asking Him to reveal your heart. If you are struggling because you live with a nice person, continue to pray that God would do a work in his or her heart and lovingly challenge that niceness. Being nice is an addiction, but our God is sufficient. He desires our worship and praise to be directed at Him and Him alone.

Resources:

 Pleasing People: How not to be an "approval junkie" by Lou Priolo

 When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward T. Welch

 No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. PhD PhD Degler

 Jesus Mean and Wild: The Unexpected Love of an Untamable God by Mark Galli

No Pruning, Please!

Yesterday my loving husband trimmed our bushes and hedges, knowing I wanted to work on the rose hedge.  It's something I try to do every spring, but because of a teaching assignment, I didn't get it done.  Now that it is fall, the rose hedge looks like this:

It looks full and had many beautiful antique and tea roses on it this last spring.  But what happened as I began to clear out the grass and weeds was this (note the far right side of the hedge, behind the flowers):

What?  You can't see anything?  Exactly.  There are a few stems coming up from the ground, but they are sparse and small.  Because I failed to prune and care for them this spring and over the summer, they  suffered atrophy.  Their appearance was beautiful and they seemed to serve their purpose, but my negligence has affected their growth.  Truthfully, I don't like pruning--as the one who trims, or as the one whom God prunes.

The physical work was a good reminder to me (once again!), of God's faithful, pruning work in my life.  When I allow other things to grow up, in, and around my time and energies, I eventually rob myself of abundant life.  I fail to grow and flourish the way I was designed.  As the one who did the pruning, I can testify to cuts, blisters, and embedded thorns.  The process is difficult, painful, and--in its immediacy--damaging to the plant.  But until the air can circulate, the sun can penetrate, and the rain can nourish the base of the plant, it will die a slow (and undisturbed) life.

As we continue to faithfully serve where God has placed us, may we willingly submit to His gracious pruning and purifying work in our lives.

Deceptive Service

Matthew 7 Verse 21: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in Your name, and in Your name cast our demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’”


Observation: The important piece that perhaps I am seeing more and more is that the one who enters heaven did the will of the Father. The others did good things, amazing things, but their eyes were on what they accomplished in His name—not what He accomplished through their service. They were still the center of the story, even though they did the things they thought God would want them to do.

Application: Knowing and doing the will of God is just that—doing God’s will, not my own. My basis for doing things has so often been based on other people, or perhaps what I thought would please God—even that is a self-focus. There is a pay-off in doing what pleases others, even if it’s not what God wants me to do. And to do what I think pleases God puts me in the judge’s seat of deciding what God wants. It would be better to simply submit myself to His Word and do what I know to be right, to respond to not getting my way with submission and contentment (even if my way seemed right), to be the aroma of Christ to God—an aroma of humility and sacrificial service apart from what anyone else would say or do. May today be a day of simply “doing the will of My Father.”

Wholly Consecrated

This morning I am reflecting on yesterday's long, hard day.  The day when we provide free furniture and household items for international students at the University of Iowa.  All 169 of them!  Many who have have been sleeping on the floor, eating on the floor and using Styrofoam containers now have bedding, dishes, tables, beds, dressers, couches--all from the hand of God who loves them.  The God who moves people and circumstances according to His will.

Before falling asleep last night I thought through the day and pictured our many fellow workers.  The words, "“The world has not yet seen what God will do through the life of one man who is wholly consecrated to Him,” came to mind.  Now, this morning, I realize that we will never see that man because God, in His greatness, guards His own in humility.  The church yard and streets of Iowa City were full of men, women, teens, and children who were wholly consecrated.  There was no name, no individual, no agenda apart from Jesus.  Jesus was serving the multitude out of compassion.  Jesus was moving the hands, feet, and hearts of His Body. 

Biblically, we cannot, nor will ever, be wholly consecrated apart from the working of the Holy Spirit.
But I have seen the result of consecration--and I have learned this:  The one who is wholly consecrated to God will not draw attention to anyone but God Himself.  He will serve diligently, with or without recognition.  But the Lord God, in His grace, will bless such a one with peace, joy, and contentment.  After all, the fruit of the Spirit fills the giver before it is given (Gal. 5:22-23).

Where some would count success in the number of international students who adopt our church as their own, or become involved in Bible studies, or come to a saving faith in Jesus, we can simply say, "We are blessed."  Yes, we continue to follow-up with student contacts, to pray, to seek opportunities to minister--as conversational English partners, through Bible studies, and continued offers of aid.  But the light shines, not because the world is dark, but because there is a Light.  And as the Light penetrates darkness, it is not lessened or enlarged because of the darkness.  It is.  God uses His people to extend Himself to a lost world and His essence is not affected by their acceptance or rejection.  He is.  And because He is, we are.  We are...blessed...praying...depending...available...working...living.

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. " (1 Peter 4:10-11).

Communion Bread Recipe

If you are serving the Body of Christ, you may have the opportunity to provide communion bread. This recipe was passed on when, as a young mom, I was elected to a women's ministry board. The woman who fostered the recipe was one of my mentors in high school, so this particular recipe has both sentimental and practical value. We celebrate communion on Sunday evenings and this recipe can be easily made that same afternoon.

May God be glorified through the service of His saints.

Sift together:

 2 c. Flour

1/2 tsp. Cream of tartar

1/2 tsp. Salt

3 tsp. Sugar

Cut in:

1/2 c. Shortening

Slowly add:

2/3 c. Milk

1 Egg

Stir briefly to a stiff dough.  Knead 5 times on lightly floured surface.  Roll into a ball and divide in half.  Roll one half of dough to fit cookie sheet (1/4" thick).  Fold and transfer to greased cookie sheet.  Poke entire surface with fork.  Bake at 450 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes.  Roll and transfer remaining dough, poking with a fork before placing in the oven.

Remove bread from oven and cut immediately into thin strips from both directions. Discard corner and other uneven pieces.  Bread can be refrigerated or frozen.  Makes approximately 300 pieces. (This recipe was passed on by Helen Lange.)

Lessons from a Bathroom Stall

Do you ever feel like a waste receptacle? Like a dumping ground for everyone else's problems? Are there times you wanted to look that other person in the eye and say, "Do you realize I have my own problems to deal with here?" then proceed to spew forth your own life issues?

Our family was on a week's vacation at camp, using a common bathhouse, when the following insights came to mind:
1) I consistently used the stall with the open door. The door that was ajar was welcoming and available. It seemed to say, "Come on in!"
2) I only used clean vessels. I didn't want to expose myself to unpleasantness or possible illness.
3) I only used available vessels. If a stall was in use or the door was locked, I simply moved on until I found a clean, available one.
4) The vessel did not keep the refuse, but got rid of it and flushed it away.

How does this apply to ministering to others? "Now all these things [faith, love, the new nature] are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." (2 Corinthians 5:18-21).

When we are ambassadors of Christ, we are often receptacles for the refuse of others. They bring their burdens, their cares, their sin, their worries and pour them into our lives. We could very easily get weighed down and become useless. But we are not the solution to their problems, we cannot fix anything. We can, however, follow the bathhouse principles in this ministry of reconciliation:
1) Keep the door of your life open to others. When you are welcoming and inviting, others will come to you with their difficulties (2 Corinthians 6:1-10).
2) Be a clean vessel. Keep yourself free from sin in deed and in conscience. Do not hold onto the sin of others and allow bitterness to creep in (Hebrews 9:13-14, Hebrews 12:15).
3) Be available to others. This is similar to the first, but realize this--that tightly entwining yourself with friends makes you unavailable to others. God desires us to live a balanced life (examine the life of Christ).
4) Your job is not to keep the refuse, but be a vessel that channels it to where it ultimately belongs (Jude 20-25).

Who would have thought--lessons from a bathroom stall?

Pharisee Recycling Center

From Pharisee to un-Pharisee—is there a place for recycled Pharisees? As a church child, “Pharisee” was a bad word (‘Cause a Pharisee’s not fair, you see?). But I have come to a newer, deeper awareness of the people-pleasing, want-to-do-it-right, want-to-do-it-my-way, of the Jewish political group known as the Pharisees.

Perhaps the most well-known Pharisee in the Christian world is the Apostle Paul. As an adult, he left the pretense of obedience, he was called out from the outward living of the law. In his conversion, He saw the Lord and was taught by God Himself what it meant to live as an un-Pharisee. (But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus. Gal. 1:15-17). The re-learning did not happen overnight. It took three years. And it took three years apart from those who would pervert the teaching, apart from those he would seek to please, apart from those who would stand in judgement of his new understanding.

Paul’s whole struggle with Pharisee-ism hinged on pleasing others. It hinged on doing what he did because others were watching, others were measuring, others were talking, others were distributing power and opportunity. But now, apart from what others saw or thought or did, Paul was free to live the gospel, to speak the gospel, to solicit on behalf of the gospel. 

 
After reading the book, Pleasing People, by Lou Priolo, my whole world was set on end. Through the revelation of the Word, the Holy Spirit convicted me that many, so many, of my behaviors were dependent on the praise of man. In fact, much of life in the church today--the reason many Christians seek to be “nice” people--is for the personal benefit to self. This benefit comes in the form of positive strokes, compliments, reciprocal treatment, and additional opportunities. 

 
Think about it. If, on Sunday morning you go out of your way to hold the door for the elderly, handicapped, and small children will you not receive many kind words and gestures? Perhaps someone might even take an extra glance and comment on your behavior to others. Before long, the pastor will approach you and recommend you for a position as a greeter or usher. You have begun to climb the rungs of church acceptance. You find yourself steaming and polishing your invisible I-am-someone-important button.

So after feeling the weight of conviction about my own desire to please others over and above pleasing God, I confessed my sin and prayed for repentance. Quite honestly, I do not like to repent. I do not often want to repent. But repentance is God’s big prerequisite. There is nothing left to do but ask. “Please, Lord, give me a heart of repentance. I want to keep pleasing myself. I want to keep doing what is comfortable and easy. I don’t want me to change, but You do.” And, even now, as I write, I find myself struggling with the desire to please you—the reader—rather than God Himself.
As a result, in the spirit of repentance, when I come to a door at church I stop and ask, “Is there someone I can love by holding this door?” Instead of asking, “Who will see me hold the door? Maybe it will be someone new… maybe it will be someone important….maybe the pastor (or deacon or elder) will walk by and see my holding the door….” And in living in Pharisee awareness I have discovered the opposite of Pharisee-ism. Un-Pharisee-ism says, “I don’t want to love that person. And, if I cannot love in sincerity, I will not serve at all.” Slam. Boom.

After struggling three years with my desire to please others, I find myself wondering if there should be a return to Pharisee behavior? I feel stuck in a no-man’s land of not pleasing others because I do not want to be a slave to the law. But when I do not live to please others, the magnet to please self pulls much more strongly and I find that selfishness and sin seem to increase. The struggle has become stronger, the desire to please self has morphed. It justifies itself because I am avoiding the pleasing-others pattern I have lived for so long. In the pain of putting myself ahead of others, I wonder if perhaps it would be better to return to simply “doing what is right” no matter what? Thank God for Paul’s continued argument in favor of grace. ("If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners, does that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! If I rebuild what I destroyed, I prove that I am a lawbreaker. For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Gal. 2:17-21).

In other words, no, there is no place for living by law (pleasing God and others through my deeds) on one hand and living by grace (realizing that God is the only One who pleases Himself, and I am fully depending on Jesus Christ for that work) on the other hand.

As I continue to skim Paul’s letter to the Galatians, I see repeated descriptions of children—and with the descriptions comes peace and comfort. He cites one child who is born under law and another who is born under grace. There is a child born under obligation and another born under promise. In each case, the child is born (duh!—or, more nicely said, “Think about it.”). A child that has just been born is a baby. It is not a fully functioning adult until it achieves that status through time and experience. In the same way, as a newly born un-Pharisee, I am re-learning the ropes of grace. Up to this point, I have lived a life of faith as it was revealed to me and understood through God’s Word, by His Spirit—fruitful, productive, loving and serving, but with a hidden component. Now I am learning a deeper, less-me, way to live by faith. It is as if God removed His hand from the bottom of my bicycle seat. He is running beside me, enabling and equipping me, but there is a very real sense of imbalance and fear and anxiety as I peddle down the road. I have been recycled. 

As I wobble and swerve, I hear His voice, “This is the way, walk in it. I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” And I respond, “ The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” (Isaiah 20:31, Hebrews 13:5-6).

Manhattan

We left New York City at the end of a 9-day East Coast family adventure. As we drove past Central Park this morning, I couldn't help but remember our treks from one side to the other: children laid out on rock outcrops, a dreaded flip-flop failure in the rambles.

Now, as we whizzed past storefronts, transfer stations, and landmarks we had passed on foot—holding hands, singing, Miss-Mary-Mack-ing—there, right there, in the quietness of reflection, was the Lord. He wouldn't show up on film (regular or digital), but He had been there. In each step, each moment, each delay, each uncertainty, He was there. He was closer, in fact, than the familiar presence of those who walked, ate, slept, and breathed those same new experiences. Our family had been away from our regular routine, apart from the anchors of everyday activities and the daily reminders of His presence—and He had been there, too.

With each passing block I found myself reliving and remembering our vacation, reminded of His presence. Being with one another 24-7 for 9 days is a bit intense (the 4-children-included variety). And, as much as I know God is there, the moments traveled at a speed quite their own. But now, communing through the streets of Manhattan I discovered the sense of belonging because God was there. And God is home.

As I opened the memories of each day, a woman's face came to the surface. She sat on a cement step, eating lunch. Our eyes met. Her countenance typified the Manhattan attitude, a confidence and self-awareness that said “I am here. I am myself. It is enough.” And in that moment, this morning, surrounded by the silent eagerness of returning home with those I love most, the Lord reminded me once again of His sufficient presence—independent of the people or the place. With my heart on its knees, I saw the pride of humanity in my own heart, cringed at the shining rebellion in my own eyes. In its place was the small cry, "Lord, here I am. You have given all that I have. You are enough."

He is the friend that stays closer than a brother. He is. And that is truly enough.

If you do not have a closer, deeper relationship with Creator God than with those around you, be challenged to check out this website: http://www.needhim.org/

(With a special thanks to Pastor Carter Conlon and those who ministered through Time Square Church with the message "Jesus Cares," June 13, 2010).

This Cracked Pot

If I were to be unfashionably transparent, I would admit that I have struggled with bitterness and resentment lately. There was an opportunity for gratitude and appreciation, and it never came. There was a place for public recognition or an expression of thanks. It never happened. Instead, after weeks of feeling set up, laughed at, made fun of, criticized, taken advantage of, and extremely disrespected, I was overlooked. Taken for granted. I didn’t want to be the martyr, or feel the martyr—and at the time, I didn’t. But later on? Yeah. It was the afterward part that got to me.

“Well,” I muse, “that’s life….” And, that’s God. Not artificially or sarcastically. Sincerely. In reading and studying 1 & 2 Chronicles, God’s hand in King David’s life was so evident. There were times he was overlooked and taken for granted, even despised, by King Saul. There were moments of victory and praise. There were times he sought God and times he disobeyed. In every moment, every circumstance, the purpose and hand of God moved the hearts of men to accomplish His will. What a tremendous testimony of life!

Then, this morning, as I read in 2 Corinthians, I was encouraged by this passage and thought:
“For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves” (2 Corinthians 4: 6-7).

What I have, say, and do that glorifies God is the result of His grace and glory in my life. My life, in and of itself—this body, this shell—is simply a vessel intended to carry and bear the life of Christ. When that is what I am doing, I am accomplishing the purpose God has for me. It is not in the accomplishments of life or the platitudes of men that I meet my potential (though it would seem that way and many others would believe it). I do not deserve praise or appreciation or gratitude. When I look at Christ's example, I am ashamed and humbled to think I felt an entitlement that never existed.

My goal and aim is to bear Jesus Christ in this body, in these circumstances, at this point in time, to those who surround me. Sometimes it means death—affliction, perplexity, persecution, being struck down or forsaken. But even in death there is victory, for these moments of pain and confusion are working to bring an eternal result. There is an inner renewing day after day after day, despite the circumstances. There is an eternal weight affixed to each small victory in which the outcome is not my physical, emotional, or mental improvement, but a representation of Christ in that moment, toward a specific individual or circumstance. This is life as it should be.

As those thoughts of sadness or disappointment come in waves, I am choosing to set them aside and step forward asking, “Was Christ reflected in that moment?” If the answer is yes, the goal has been met. Today is a new moment to show Christ through the cracks of this earthen vessel.

GateKeeper

Monday, May 10, 2010 1 Chronicles 26
Verse 6: they were mighty men of valor
Verse 8: they were able men with strength for the service
Verse 9: valiant men
Verse 12: To these divisions of the gatekeepers, the chief men, were given duties like their relatives to minister in the house of the LORD.
Verse 16: Guard corresponded to guard.
Impression: The job of gatekeeper was not for sissies. God used specific men to guard the gates of the city, to open and close the gates, to oversee that which went out and that which came in. They were men of valor and strength whose job was understood in their ministry to the LORD. Should I view the importance of my soul any less? Or this body which is the temple of the Spirit? To guard against outside forces, to overcome self, to open and close the gates of my heart is not a job for a sissy. If I choose to sit back and let enter what will, I have failed to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.) If I choose to “be myself” and give in to every thought and desire, I have broken down the walls of my heart (Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control).
God is the One who gives valor, strength, and ability. He is the One who ultimately oversees the gates of my heart, but I must submit to His Spirit and His working in my life to benefit from His guardianship. How? By conscious choice and open request. With a soft heart and a determination of will, dependence on God becomes a lifeline that overcomes the dangers of laziness, procrastination, permissiveness, the desire to exalt self and please others.
(Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.)

The Cost of Forgiveness

Forgiveness. Yesterday was Easter and my reflections fell on it. It is not a frightening word. It is not a negative word. On one hand it's expected. On the other, it's... impossible. Forgiveness is the act of moving beyond an offense, intentional or otherwise. Neither side of forgiveness is pleasant. The one who has offended must accept it with humility, with lowliness and meekness. The one who offers forgiveness does so at a cost.

God has been teaching me the cost of forgiveness and I am learning a greater sense of awe and reverence for who He is. I have discovered that forgiving others means that, although they were wrong, I bear their offense. If I was slandered by another, I bear the price of their slander. I am the one that was defamed. But in forgiveness, the price is not laid on the one who initiated the crime. It weighs on the one who was wronged, the one who forgives.

To forgive is to relinquish the expectation of reconciliation or retribution*, although that may come. To forgive is to simply live on apart from the offense. It is so very impossible. My mind recalls words, details, memories and I must put them to rest. I must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I must choose not to dwell on, or remember, those details, by the grace of God. Apart from the working of God Himself, this is humanly impossible.

This is the forgiveness of God. This is the picture of Christ's death, His substitutionary death for me--that He took on Himself my sin, my wickedness, my death, and I pay nothing. God does not expect me to make it right. I cannot. He does not expect me to pay Him back. I cannot. In His forgiveness, He indwells me and enables me to "simply live on apart from the offense."

The other amazing thing I've learned in practicing forgiveness is that God has already given us an antidote for relieving the pain. Five times the writers of the gospels quote Jesus saying, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39, 16, 25; Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, 17:33). In a voila moment, I realized that the hurtful moments that roll off my back are the ones I don't take personally. Jesus was not only speaking of finding life after death, but of the eternal life we can experience in the here and now. I can experience the joy and peace of God when my life is not my own. In those moments that my life is lived for Christ and not for myself, the offense is not mine, it is His. Not only is the offense not realized at the time, the pain of forgiveness is nil. It is not mine to forgive, it is God's and He has already given it.

To walk in the Spirit is to walk with an eye ever on the Savior, with a heart bent to His will, with an ear listening to His voice. To forgive is to rely on God to faithfully prune those areas of my life that I hold too dearly, and cling to those that will draw me closer to His side.

* I may be wrong, but I believe God's forgiveness is free of reconciliation--Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the cross. But reconciliation is the only way to experience a living relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The forgiveness is available, but must be received in order to restore the relationship. Through Christ I can forgive someone apart from a restored relationship.

The How

Yesterday, I blew it. I gave in to eating more than I should, to eating more of the comfort foods than I should. Just simply gave in. You might say I had good reason if I unloaded my excuses, but in my heart, I know excuses don't count. Reality does.

How encouraging then, this morning, to realign myself and agree with God about my failure. I need His forgiveness and help. If you will allow me, I will open my daily reading journal for you to read. Perhaps it will be a comfort and encouragement to you, too.

March 2, 2010 Romans 9:1-16
Verse 16: So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.

Impression: There is no “me” in salvation—it is all about God. If this is true, even my sanctification—and certainly my glorification—is an act of God. How can one part be my choice, my will, my decision, my doing, but not the other parts? I know I cannot resurrect this body and replace it with a glorified one. How much more will I take credit for my salvation (WHO died and paid for my sin? Certainly not me.)? How much more will I take credit for my sanctification (“for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure)? So, then, it is God who does the work.

Will I submit myself to His will and ways today? He is so much more able, more capable, more invested in this fleeting, minimal life of mine than I am. How could I trust myself to know where to go, what to do, what is best? How much wiser to entrust it to the One who knows all, does all, enables all and is all loving, all just…. Simply trust and obey. Now. Today.

Free Stuff!

A few years ago I was visiting with a little boy from China. His father was an international student and his family lived a simple life here in America. When I told him that his faith in Jesus meant he would spend forever in heaven with God he asked, "Is there any free stuff there?" "It's ALL free!" I answered. "And it's better than anything you'll ever see on earth!"

It's been awhile--allow me to share today's thoughts from my personal time in the book of Romans. The freedom of heaven will comes later, but even today we can be free from our guilt and sin.

February 18, 2010
Romans 3:21-31
Verse 24, 27: “being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus…. Where then is boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith.”

Impression: When will this stubborn pride and fleshly mind of mine accept the fact that there is nothing I have or can do to bring about my justification (a right legal standing before God—not guilty)?! It is God who justifies. It is God who gave justification as a gift. According to verses 25-26, the death of Christ was a demonstration of the righteousness of God. It revealed the wickedness of man and the price required to redeem man from death. God, in His goodness and grace, allows me to come to Him on the basis of faith. Simple faith. No works will accomplish His righteousness: not penance, not baptism, not attendance, not heritage, not commitments, not sacrifice, not self-recrimination, not guilt, not self-adulation. The only way to gain a “not guilty” status before Almighty God is by simple, resting faith in Jesus as the One who bore my sin.
And He doesn’t just cover my sin now, today. Verse 25 says that God, in the forebearance of His righteousness, passed over the sins previously committed. What generosity! He doesn’t forgive me from this point forward—He forgives me from this point backward and into this present time—the now of today. And tomorrow, this will be the present time (now) and the previously committed sins will be forgiven then. And the next day, previously committed sins will be forgiven along with the present sins… and on, and on.
“For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law” (verse 28).

The Prayer of Silence

My life is so full of myself that my prayers are full of words.   "Thank You, God, for....  I praise You because You are....  Please work in this situation....."  In all, my prayer life is not characterized as a time of waiting. I will not pretend to say that I sit and wait on the Lord in a literal sense.
Waiting for His answer to prayer, waiting for Him to intervene in a situation—yes, I am learning to wait for Him in this way. But to be silent before Him just because He is….that is something I have not mastered—or even really thought about. To simply sit (or prostrate myself) in silence—silence of thought, silence of word—content with His Lordship—shows a sense of humility. Of smallness. Of service. To simply “be” while God “is.” This, too, is worship.

Zechariah 2:13 Be silent, all flesh, before the LORD; for He is aroused from His holy habitation.

We Interrupt Your Life For This Important Announcement

Yesterday God interrupted my life. Again. His interruptions are always sovereign, always loving, always good; not always--pleasant. Unlike some interruptions, yesterday's involved a broken waterpipe and a flooded basement. Despite the damage and loss, we experienced an unreal sense of contentment and peace.

There was no worry or anxiety, no impatience, no unkind word. It was a work of the Lord. There was a job to do. Its cause was irrelevant at the time. What a heart quenching experience to work dilligently alongside one another simply doing what needed to be done. David ripped out the ruined drywall while I prepped the trail we would make up the stairs, through the living room, kitchen, and laundry room. While he cut and bagged wet carpet and matting, I manuevered the truck for easier loading.

As we surveyed the empty, open room at the end of our haul, we congratulated each other on a job well done. True, by the end of the day I was a little testy under the weight of all that needed to be done and had been put on hold. But it was a blessed day.

My take-away? What thoughts and attitudes do I need to change to experience the same kind of peace and joy in the other interruptions of life? What made today different? Perhaps it was simply the acknowledgement that God knew. God knew the demands on my life. God knew the outcome of just such an interruption. God knew the blessings of working side by side and making plans for a new, improved basement.

Even now, God knows the demands on your life. He knows the outcome of each interruption that comes your way. He knows the blessings that lie in store. He knows how today's interruption will redirect your life to a new, improved relationship with Himself.

How has God used today's interruptions in your life?

"The mind of man plans his way,But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9