When Ministry is Dangerous

"Ministry" can be an ambiguous, dangerous word when it describes who I am more than how, or what, I do. As an identity, it compartmentalizes and encapsulates parts of our lives, presuming to represent the whole.

"What is your ministry?"
"How is your ministry?"
"How do you do ministry?"
"What does your ministry look like?"

You hear these questions at the coffee shop, in the church lobby, over the phone, in emails, and at conferences. The questions--and answers--define what you struggle with, how successful you are, how you spend your time and energy: who you are.

It is easy to throw ourselves into the lifestyle and role of "ministry" in an effort to answer questions well, represent ourselves (and God) well, and live a life blessed by God. If we're not successful, we seek to fix what's wrong, worried that we look bad and we've made God look bad--right? (Not right--but right?) If we're not careful, we find ourselves serving "the ministry." How do we know? It drives our thoughts, decisions, sleep (or lack thereof), diet, family time, priorities,  hobbies, relationships, and schedule. Ministry is a dangerous god. Mimicking God's creation and chosen order, it quietly slithers in, sharing intimate space in our thoughts, directing our life.

What if, instead of "ministry," we thought about, spoke and asked about the Lord Jesus? How much more valuable to include others: those who have a job title and those who don't; those who are paid in a ministry position and those who aren't; those who are extrinsically successful and those who aren't.

"How is your walk with the Lord?"
"How has the Lord been using you in His service? Blessing you? Challenging you from His Word?"
"What is the most rewarding part of your relationship with the Lord right now?"
"How has God been convicting you? How is He working in your life?"
"How can I pray with/for you right now?"

It may or may not have anything to do with others and their perception, but it will refocus us on God instead of ourselves. Talking about "ministry" keeps the spotlight off my heart.

What if we were brave enough, courageous enough, to say, "This isn't 'ministry,' this is 'life.' And as He allows, I will fill every last corner of it--every relationship, activity, hour, and accolade--to the edges with a desire to please, honor, and multiply His grace."

"...sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence...." (1 Peter 3:15)

Reality

Our world is broken, tragically unjust, given over to oppression, pain, and hopelessness--without Christ. The reality of God's Word, however, is one of wholeness, justice, freedom, grace, and hope. Through redemption in Jesus Christ we have a renewed purpose, to live out our original design: representing God's image. Because of sin, we will never fully represent Him here on earth, but through the indwelling Spirit, with dependence on the Word of God and support of His people, He promises to change us.

One of the most powerful antidotes to depression* and anxiety is the reminder of what is true: God is loving, He is kind, gentle, slow to wrath, good, powerful, faithful... Instead of allowing my mind to wander and follow it's own depraved (or lazy) path of sorrow, God has given me what I need to retrain it: the promises in His Word (2 Peter 1:3) and His presence (Hebrews 13:5-6). Jim Berg, in his book, Changed Into His Image, refers to this as "arguing myself back to reality."

We can change our mind! God created it as an elastic, adaptable organ. Connections (known as synapses), create paths that can be reinforced or recreated much like a two-track dirt road. Repeated thoughts form a highway, or river-like structure, with fingers reaching as far as time and control allow. New thoughts take time and intentionality--which is why we must be disciplined and on guard, sober-minded. "Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:13). 

Here is a link to Bible verses that remind us of the goodness and constant love of God through Jesus Christ: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/depression-bible-verses/

When in doubt, argue yourself back to reality! God is who He says He is. He will do what He says He will do (Hebrews 11:6). He knows our weakness and frailty, our struggles and suffering. We can be honest with ourselves and honest with God, humbling ourselves and asking for His help. As Scripture identifies sin, we can repent without shame. As we need comfort and strength, He will provide. Over and over, as I bask in His presence and Word, He has promised to meet my need. He will not disappoint.

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
“Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. (Psalm 46)

*This is not to the exclusion of medical help. Seeking professional help is recommended and encouraged.

A Spiritual Whole30

Yesterday I felt defeated. I had worked and prayed for hours over a project only to realize that, although the work was sound, I had the wrong focus. Feelings of failure, inadequacy, and waste darkened my outlook. It was difficult to change gears, address immediate concerns, and remain disciplined. Everywhere I looked I saw my limitations and recognized my inability to do or complete what I set my hand to.

These are moments I need the gospel. I need to be reminded that I am always inadequate whether I feel like it or not. I am weak, limited, and unable to shape my world. It's a reminder that I need Jesus. I am not my own savior and never will be. God, in His grace, draws me back to Himself, working circumstances, relationships, even my stubborn heart, to seek and follow Him in spite of it all. He has seen my inadequacies and superseded them in Christ.

Yesterday was also the end of the Whole30 diet at our house. One should never end a diet the day after a holiday. I did not end well. One of my big take-aways is that there is a disconnect between my mouth and stomach. My stomach and body really don't care what food tastes like. Their needs and satisfaction depend on a different set of values than my taste buds. As long as they're fed and the quality is adequate, they work properly. Energy levels stay level. Thinking is clear. All systems are "go." My superficial desire for sugar, in all its forms, has no lasting value. It is, in fact, detrimental to my overall health and performance.

In the same way, we are quick to satisfy feelings and emotions, catering to their whimsical desires, when what brings balance is sound thinking and doing. Filling my mind with the reality of God and His promises affects my spiritual outlook and energy level, providing motivation and initiative apart from emotion. I can give in to quick bursts of emotional highs and seek them as a means of enjoying life, or I can settle in to the deeper truth of God and persevere based, not on my own desires, but God's.

What if we reset our spiritual appetite with thirty days of whole nutrition from God's Word--no podcasts, articles, zippy tunes, Facebook, Netflix, Youtube or Hulu. Instead, we would take a 30-day fast from modern interruptions of fast spiritual sugar and concentrate on the whole foods of Scripture, prayer, meditation, fellowship, worship, and evangelism. Could we do it? Would we? How quickly would we find ourselves reading other's thoughts, seeking regurgitated truth, longing for entertainment?

Just like daily eating, I must discipline myself, by the grace of God, to fix my eyes on a higher goal with an eternal perspective. My desires and wishes, on their own, are warped and self-centered. But a mind fixed on God's nature, goodness, holiness, and might changes my appetite and brings satisfaction. He alone has true value and worth.

Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
Or ever You had formed the earth and the world,
Even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

You turn man to destruction,
And say, “Return, O children of men.”
For a thousand years in Your sight
Are like yesterday when it is past,
And like a watch in the night.
You carry them away like a flood;
They are like a sleep.
In the morning they are like grass which grows up:
In the morning it flourishes and grows up;
In the evening it is cut down and withers.

For we have been consumed by Your anger,
And by Your wrath we are terrified.
You have set our iniquities before You,
Our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.
For all our days have passed away in Your wrath;
We finish our years like a sigh.
The days of our lives are seventy years;
And if by reason of strength they are eighty years,
Yet their boast is only labor and sorrow;
For it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
Who knows the power of Your anger?
For as the fear of You, so is Your wrath.
So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Return, O Lord!
How long?
And have compassion on Your servants.
Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90