True Love

Because of the holidays, our regular routine has radically changed. We've stayed up later, slept in longer, eaten too much, and missed mid-week church meetings. When we're only at church once a week, we feel like we're missing something. We miss people.

So now that we're back in the swing of things, I recounted post holiday conversations that happened following this morning's worship service and prayed for many different people: an older, single woman who is "getting by;" a young mother recovery from a long, misdiagnosed illness; a couple enduring chemo; a family anticipating the immigration of their son; a newly disclosed abuse situation of friends; young athletes gearing up for surgery, while others recover. So. many. friends. So. many. opportunities to pray and intercede for one another.

http://thebridge.ourubertor.com/Giving.ubr

And as I thought of these dear friends and church family members, I realized how loving our local church body is. We can't truly love one another without listening and asking questions. If all I did was shoot off my mouth, tell my news, and listen to my own voice, I would miss so much! True love is listening. Listening is caring. Caring is praying. Praying leads to follow up, praising, helping, doing, calling, texting, encouraging. And it's happening throughout our church body. People intercede for one another, reach out for help, provide care, fellowship, encouragement, transportation and practical intervention.

As John, the disciple Jesus loved, said "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth" (1 John 3:18). John knew because John experienced Jesus' love firsthand. He understood that we do not naturally love or care for one another. Left to ourselves, we use information to wield power in the form of gossip or manipulation. But because of Jesus, we can listen and love freely. It's not up to me to fix other's difficulty. True love doesn't to get the "dirt" from other's lives or use a willingness to listen as a trip to share my own experience. We can only love sincerely, openly, and without strings attached because that's the way God loves us. He doesn't love us for what He can get. He doesn't love us for His benefit. He loves us for our benefit. He loves for what He can give and provide. He loves by giving His best when we are at our worst. And, because of Jesus, we can love others.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. (1 John 4:7-21)

What's Love Got to Do With It?

I took note of a young woman the other day. She wore the same clothes I'd seen her wear before. She hadn't changed her hair or appearance. But there was an air about her--and it only took a moment to realize what it was. Not only is she a woman in love; she is loved. She carries herself differently. She sees others in a new light. There is a dimension of awareness, a carefree confidence, a strident disregard for lesser things.

And I was reminded that I am loved. Set apart. Bought and paid for by a Victorious Warrior. How does Jesus' love affect the way I see the world? Others? Difficulty? Temporary treasures? As a recipient of love--real love, not emotion, but action; a choice initiated by my Creator, provided by my Savior, extended through His Spirit--it changes everything.... Absolutely. Everything.

“The Lord your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." (Zephaniah 3:17)

For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.

But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed, therefore I spoke,” we also believe, therefore we also speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Cor. 4:6-18)

To Be or Not to Be--a Super Momma

My last post was a warning to Super Mommas. One woman wrote, "So where's the balance? What's the difference between a godly momma and a super momma?"

If it was a matter of appearance, it might be hard to tell the difference. Many of us have the mistaken idea that doing is being. If I go to church, do this, do that, give my best, try harder, and keep it up, the Lord will bless me. All will be well.

However, if the basis of our relationship with God is doing what's right and giving my best, I've missed the point. Doing what I can to reach God is not Christianity; it's religion.

In many Christian circles it has morphed into a more subtle, God will bless me for obedience and chastise me for disobedience, Old Testament model. Parents quote the verse, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). Although those are windows into the character of God and biblical principles, they become the mantra of Christian parenting. It's simple and straight-forward: I do my job, God does His. It's predictable, clean, difficult, but guaranteed.

That's what a Super Momma does: more, bigger, better. The greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward! Onward and upward! Tally-ho! with encouragement, modeling, and prayer from other Mommas.

Problem: that's not actually what God said. Rewind. Reframe. And ask, where does Jesus come in to the picture? If all I have is the obedience=blessing, disobedience=chastisement, it could become another you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours relationship. This may sound harsh, but in our hearts and minds it may be: Jesus, if you save me from sin, I'll obey you the rest of my life. Therein lies the problem. We can't. We won't. We don't.

The Old Testament points to Jesus and the New Testament is all about Jesus. That means God knows I can't, won't, don't. In His economy, life is not about my obedience; it's about Jesus. If He is who He says He is, there ought to be so much more!

God 101 reminds us that God is God. He will not give His glory to another. He cannot be manipulated, understood, or subverted. He rules in justice and righteousness--at all times, in all ways.

People 101 tells us that we are sinners. Our children and husbands are sinners. We are fallen, selfish creatures who remain in depravity and darkness when left to ourselves. We have no power to determine our outcome or the outcome of anyone else--husband, children, disciples, loved ones.

Jesus 101 says that He is the Light, Bread, Water, and Sustainer of all. The Father chooses. The Son lived, died and rose again, paying the price for the sin's penalty, freeing us from sin's power. Jesus saves. Jesus intercedes. Jesus will judge.

Holy Spirit 101 teaches us that only the Holy Spirit gives life. We do not know how He moves, we can only see evidence of His work. 

The problem comes when any of us--Super Momma, Super Christian, Super Pastor, Super Worker--take on the role of God, Jesus and/or the Holy Spirit. We jump out of People 101 assuming the role, responsibilities and privileges of God Himself. Somehow we have the sense that, with responsibility, comes sovereignty. Yes, God gave mankind a command to multiply His goodness and character, rule and subdue in justice and righteousness. But we have no control over the outcome. We make choices, but we don't choose the consequences. With sin comes brokenness.You are broken. Your children see it. They know it. They're actually watching to see what you do with it.

Your children are broken. You cannot "make" them do anything. You can provide consequences and an environment of loving care. You can educate, provide for and protect. But each one will make his or her own choices. Each one will submit to God or choose his own way. People 101 does not give parents, or mothers, a seat on God's executive committee or pre-approval for sovereignty.

As a mom, we must prepare each child to live a broken life in a broken world. Even when I desire to protect and prepare them in the safety of our home, they must ultimately learn to live in a cesspool of sin. It permeates our homes, churches, and every encounter. The world outside has few barriers against the depravity of sin. Children see ours. They practice theirs--in our presence and out of it. (See People 101). People will use, damage, and otherwise seek to destroy our children due to their own brokenness and sin (again, see People 101). Coming to terms with the reality of our world is where many of us have failed our children. We want a better world, a better experience, a better outcome than what we, ourselves have had. 

That's where Jesus comes in. Every moment. Every day. Every relationship. Every situation. We. are. broken. But we have Jesus...

Because of Jesus we can

• Acknowledge and confess our own sin--even if it's as subtle as wanting a sin-free environment, comfort, relief, peace over and above what God has provided. 
• Allow our children to experience failure, frustration, anger, and sin-induced pain. 
• Impose and apply real consequences--the world certainly will. God does. 
• Expose our children to age-appropriate depravity and 
• Teach them to address sin against themselves as well as the sinful responses of their own heart. With Jesus' help, we can train and build our children's spiritual muscle for spiritual battles using the Word of God. Jesus helps, forgives, goes before, loves, and disciplines every moment of every day.

When we put children under a grow-light in the basement, they show early growth, tall and green, but fail to form deep, sturdy roots.The result is a quickly withering, dying plant that cannot stand against unpredictable wind and fluctuating sunlight. Instead, when we expose them to wind, storms, and a contaminated environment, providing support, shelter and guidance as needed, they develop a heart and mind that is prepared for growth, even in times of drought.

Perhaps you, like me, find yourself wanting to live a victorious life...without Jesus. As He shows me the pride, wickedness, and deceit of my heart, I must run to Him, admitting my need and falling on His mercy. We must do the same with our children, teaching them that the only life worth living is one that is fully satisfied with and dependent on Jesus Christ--through the storms.

...in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him, called by God as High Priest “according to the order of Melchizedek,” 11 of whom we have much to say, and hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing.

For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. (Hebrews 5:7-14)