An Honest Look at Shoveling Snow

Towering snow fell last week and since my husband was out of town, I had the privilege of snow removal. If you haven't visited our farm, we have more than a person can do with a shovel--but plenty of that, too. As I bundled up for -3 temperatures I prayed, "Lord, give me wisdom. Help me do this well."

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Then the biblical counselor in me kicked in asking, "What do you mean by well? What kind of wisdom are you asking for?" Honestly, I wanted the least amount of inconvenience and the most efficiency. I wanted to get it over with so I could enjoy a quiet day at home without obligation. I didn't want to work hard, toil, sweat, and labor. I didn't want difficulty or roadblocks. I wanted to "get on with my life."

How true, how true. Even as I lay in bed last night a dreaded task came to mind followed by our pastor's voice saying, "God works all things together for good; all means all" and I realized I don't want "all" things to be working together--even if it's for good.

I think it would be nice to have a few difficult things, spaced out to my liking (or not at all), and mostly easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy things instead of, as my daughter says, "difficult-difficult-lemon-difficult" things. I don't want God to control all the things in my life (hear the rebellion?) and I don't want all of them to count. I want time off for good behavior. I want to have moments that God isn't using for my "good;" moments that are just mine, not His (And even in writing that, I'm feeling very, very small and convicted).

But God is God. He loves me. He knows me. He is much more concerned with best than comfort, with change than convenience, with Christ than my preferences. And what a good God He is. There were times Jesus wanted out of the program, too, but He submitted to His Father. He was perfected through suffering. He has become the Author and Perfecter of our salvation--and He will forever be counted worthy as the Lamb who was slain.

And when I consider Jesus, snow is not too big. Circumstances are not impossible. Relationships are not bad. They are all part of reflecting a loving, gracious, giving God to a needy, lost, dying world... And. I. Must. Keep. Going. Praise the Lord, He will make sure I do--according to His good will, purpose and plan.

They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here until I have prayed.” And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, “Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.” (Mark 14:32-36)


Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
Nor faint when you are reproved by Him;
For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,
And He scourges every son whom He receives.”

It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?  For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12:1-13)

God, Grace, and Lemon Meringue Pie

I got up early Saturday morning, made coffee, set out pie crusts to thaw, moved a mountain of laundry, spent time in Bible reading and prayer then shaped the crusts and put them in the oven. A child headed out for the day--and as I listened to my book on tape and started the lemon filling, I was happy and thankful.

Then the filling boiled, the pie crusts were done, and the husband entered the kitchen. I couldn't turn off my headset, the crusts fell apart and the filling continued to bubble. In that moment--and the ones that followed--I realized how little control I had.

We know we need God for the big stuff: a job, which job?, school? life partner? church? move? But the truth is, we need His help when it comes to making lemon meringue pie, too. I know I do.

After baking new crusts I prayed the filling would set, the meringue would hold, and continued praying, step-by-step, holding my breath as I packed multiple items for that day's fundraiser. God's grace extends to every moment, every choice, every thing that falls into place, and every thing that goes awry. We weren't in the Garden when God placed Adam and Eve, but His daily presence and interaction--as well as Scripture that exhorts us to trust Him--remind us that He created us to be fully dependent. God does not expect us to do it on our own. The American ideal of independence, especially individual independence, is not biblical. We cannot do it on our own. We can't make anything turn out the way we intended--either by wishing or extreme effort. When it does, if it does, it is an act of God's grace and favor.

The more I cry out to Him, ask for His help, and acknowledge His grace, the more praise, glory and honor He receives. The more I ask, the more He reveals Himself and is seen for who He really is. This week, I'm praising Him for lemon meringue pies (among other common and special graces).

As for God, His way is blameless;
The word of the Lord is tried;
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
For who is God, but the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God,
The God who girds me with strength
And makes my way blameless?
He makes my feet like hinds’ feet,
And sets me upon my high places.
He trains my hands for battle,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,
And Your right hand upholds me;
And Your gentleness makes me great.
You enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped. (Ps. 18:30-36)

Parenting 101

Our family is blessed--extremely blessed. God has provided and we live a life of grace and gratitude, thanks to Him. There is a sense in which others want that same blessing; it is a wonderful gift, but there's no way to pass on or multiply the blessing to others except to turn them to God Himself, through Jesus.

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As our children grow (and have grown), one thing is certain: God uses them to change us. And, as struggling parents ask questions, share concerns, and look for answers, Jesus' simple but impossible charge stands central: Love the LORD your God with all your heart, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Simple, because we understand the premise. Impossible, because apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ and dependence on His Spirit, Word, and people, we cannot begin to put it into practice.

If we, as parents, are trying to be successful we will lose the war. If we follow a contemporary path of certainty, another's example, a way of thinking, or our own reasoning, we will fail. If we try to impress our neighbors, community, coaches, pastor, church members, and extended family, we will stumble. (Let me add that neither my husband or I came onto the parenting scene feeling equipped or confident. As I've mentioned before, I still can't find the family videos of our early years of parenting that I hid because they gave our children the wrong idea and modeled push-over, permissive parenting on my part.)

If, on the other hand, we prayerfully commit, "I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart" (Psalm 101:2), loving God first and foremost, we will please the only One who counts. God does not promise godly children. He has given principles to live by, but if we follow His example we must admit that even He does not have perfectly obedient, godly children! What He does guarantee is that He will make His children in Christ more and more like His precious Son, whatever it takes. The salvation and spiritual life of our children is not our responsibility. It is God's. We can provide a godly environment, influence, consequences and training, but we cannot work heart change. The children in our home are gifts--temporary residents--we are given to steward, train and prepare for life. It is a constant seeking after wisdom (Proverbs 1-5).

A speaker recently said, "We hold to the Proverb, 'Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.' But if we, as parents, put more trust in our training than in the Lord, what kind of example are we setting?"

Second, we are charged to love our children as we love ourselves. They are not pawns, advertisements, posters, or mindless followers. My duty as a parent is not to mold them into my idea of success. The basis of my instruction is to love them more than myself in daily, practical exercises. In loving my husband and children, I am called to die to myself: my desires, my plans, my schedule, my goals. I do not martyr myself for the sake of my children. I make a deliberate choice to put God first and others (my husband, then children) next, trading my wants for their needs. I choose to lovingly serve them by doing what is in their best interest instead of what makes me look or feel good. What is best? What do they need most? How can I help? How can I cooperate with God to train this child so he is suited for the world? I know his bent--what does s/he need to learn how to navigate independence? How can I facilitate his/her natural growth?

Late in the teen years one of our children said, "Mom, sometimes I really didn't like you." "You know what, sweetie?" I answered, "I didn't like you either....But I always loved you."

Parents, we need to grow up. We need to look up. How is God using our children to make us more dependent on Him? To hack away at unseen idols, desires, and sinful habits? Do I love God first? Most? Or do I love what He can do for me more? Do I love His promises more than God Himself? And what about my children? Do they see me loving God or loving myself? Do they know I love them more than success, other's impressions, my reputation, their salvation or future choices? Do I truly love my children more than myself? We won't always get it right, but by God's grace, we will learn, love, change and grow--and He will bless as He sees fit, in trial and relief. It's all in His hands.

One more thing--if life doesn't turn out the way I think it should, if I don't experience "blessing" or tragedy strikes I have learned to ask myself, "Is God still good?" Someday I'll tell you the story about a man with a gun, a lawsuit, a traveling husband and a house full of sleeping children when I imagined the worst and that still voice asked, "Even if.... Is God still good?" And the answer, with tears, is always, "Yes. God is still good."

"Good and upright is the Lord;
Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in justice,
And He teaches the humble His way.
All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.
For Your name’s sake, O Lord,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.." (Psalm 25:8-11)

One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:35-40)

Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:8-10)