Replacing Self-Esteem with Grace

There is something in us, something in me, that wants to be different than everyone else. I want to be seen, noticed, and remembered because I'm ____________ (fill in the blank). This way of thinking, wanting to be wanted or known because of who I am, doesn't just affect my thinking and relationships with others. It leaches into my relationship with God. There is a tendency to believe that God chose me because __________ or because I bring something unique to the table, something no one else can or does. That's what self-esteem is: the idea that my unique-ness makes me different from everyone else. And while that's true, there's a greater sense of being the same that needs to be embraced.... Because God says so.

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To a world of  Baby Boomers, Gen X'ers, and Millenialists, God says:

You are no better than anyone else. "with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Philippians 2:6). "Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation." (Romans 12:16)

Your personal struggles are no different than everyone else's. "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man..." (1 Corinthians 10:13). "each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust." (James 1:14)

You have nothing I want or need. "For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment" (Isaiah 64:6). "...nor is [God] served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things" (Acts 17:25).

You are not in control. I am. " ...everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. That which is has been already and that which will be has already been..." (Ecclesiastes 3:14-15)  God "works all things after the counsel of His will" (Ephesians 1:11).

And yet. Yet. He came. He gave. He embraces. He sustains, empowers, enables. Loves. God not only created us, He stooped down and brought us to Himself. Because we need Him desperately, He went to desperate lengths to buy us back from the slave market of sin. And then, knowing our weakness and frailty, He determined to dwell in us and assist us, His people, each and every moment of the rest of our lives.

Any relationship with sinners requires forgiveness. Reconciliation does not exist apart from forgiveness. Someone has to pay for another's sin against them. And God paid the debt for our sin against Him through Jesus. He took it all and we brought nothing. That. is. grace.

We didn't deserve it. We can't earn it. It's not ours to begin with. It's all an act of God's--His free will, His desire, His love manifested on us. And when that's true, when I begin to see the depth of His grace and am cut free from my desire to take hold of it in and of myself, there is freedom--freedom to love, freedom to obey--and gratitude--gratitude without strings, gratitude that washes over my thoughts, attitudes and actions. It's not up to me.

This truth borders on blasphemy. It's beyond my comprehension. It's not about me. It's all about grace. This is God.

As it is written:

“There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;
There is none who does good, no, not one.”

“Their throat is an open tomb;
With their tongues they have practiced deceit”; 

“The poison of asps is under their lips”; 

“Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood;
Destruction and misery are in their ways;
And the way of peace they have not known.”

“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? Of works? No, but by the law of faith. Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law. (Romans 3:10-28 NKJV)

All the Good Stuff: 'cause "I NEED it!"

In our Christian way of thinking, if we do good things, God gives us good stuff. We can quote or refer to verses and passages that tell us God has good things for us; we can do all things through His strength; He will meet all our needs.

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The end of Leviticus is an example. God promises good things to those who obey His commandments. He promises penalties to those who disobey. But in real life, bad things happen to good people--and good things happen to bad people. So what's the catch?

As I read Leviticus 26:1-13 and the list of good things God promised, I realized how many of those blessings I take for granted: rain, harvest, no war in the land, fruitfulness, God's presence, acceptance, and freedom. It's not that God hasn't given me loads of blessings. The problem is that I want more. I tend toward ingratitude, greed, comfort, ease, convenience, and relief.

But what didn't God say? He didn't say they would never work another day in their lives, face temptation, frazzled spouses, naughty children, financial stress, or a trouble-free life.

He promised to meet my needs. All of them. The question is, what qualifies as a "need?" And who determines it?

Honestly, I think I need a lot of things: uninterrupted sleep, plentiful food, fun friends, good times. But God, in His wisdom and love, knows differently--and He's the One that decides. If I need patience and maturity, He will provide trials (because He loves me; see James 1:2-3). If I need humility, He will reveal my heart and humble me (see Deuteronomy 8:2). I may need to depend more on Him and less on myself. I may need to learn compassion, empathy--and yes, humility (again--keep that tape rolling because it's true, so true). In God's way of thinking, my circumstances do not determine my need, they are instruments God uses to meet my true, invisible, eternal, essential, previously unmet (probably undetermined) need.

Think kids. What do kids need? A parent's list is very different than a child's. And it depends on where that child is at the moment. If they're at Stuff-mart, children likely "need" different things than if they're confined to time out. Their needs change and vary as quickly as their environment. But good moms (and dads) know kids need proper nutrition, adequate rest, etc.--and they don't get dissuaded by miserable, whiny, unhappy children if it means meeting their needs.

Whatever it is, God has promised to provide for my need--all of it. As Pastor Tim Waldron says, "If God didn't meet it, I didn't need it." He has given me a guarantee: Jesus. If God sent His Son endure an earthly existence, submit to sin-cursed parents, authorities, a sin-cursed world, human body, and die an excruciating death without intervening--because that's what I need--what won't He give me? Who suffers and gives, endures and grieves for anyone, especially His enemies? But God did. And because He has given His best, at the greatest cost, I am confident He will provide exactly what I need when I need it...and more.

So what do I need today? At this point I'm asking instead of telling...

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me....And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. (Philippians 4:11-13, 19-20).

Waiting

With faith comes expectation... and patience. A friend once described life as picking one's way through a bog in heavy weather conditions. We may not know where to put the next foot, but as we look at God's faithfulness in the steps leading up to this point, He gives confidence that His Word is true. We can step into the unknown, confident He will continue to lead and provide.

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God was historically silent for 400 years. Then He came in the flesh. Regardless of today's hardship, pain, confusion, or chaos, I can be confident in God's provision and work. And the more I get to know Him, the easier it is to wait.

Take Christmas as an example. The number of days of December hasn't changed since I was young, but my perspective has. And it's a lot easier to wait today than it was forty years ago.

Take heart. He is at work. It may take a year. Or five. Or twenty. Or a lifetime. But He who called you is faithful, who also will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:18-39 ESV)