If I Have Biblical Counseling but Have Not Love...

I discovered biblical counseling almost 10 years ago—and it made a huge difference in the way I see and help people who are hurting. If you are not familiar with biblical counseling, it’s just that—giving counsel from the Bible. Parents do it. Friends do it. Bible study leaders, pastors, Sunday school teachers, deacons and elders do it.

So what’s big deal? In the early 1970’s a Presbyterian minister asked why churches send hurting people outside the church for help. Others started asking similar questions and looking for biblical answers to depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, marital difficulty, and other very real, difficult life struggles. In the years since, books, resources, pastors, conferences, and programs have multiplied—all with practical, biblical truths and principles that address heart issues.

Since it’s fall, a football analogy seemed appropriate. No analogy is perfect, but for the story’s sake, let’s pretend Christians are pushing toward the goal of Christlikeness. A person seeking help is a “counselee.” The person offering help (casually or professionally) is the counselor.

http://s.hswstatic.com/gif/football-pictures-4.jpg

If counselees are moving toward the goal, I picture myself, the counselor, as another teammate on the field--game book in mind, listening to and checking in with the Coach. Down here on the turf, we take our share of knocks. Some are falling down, others are picking them up. We’re pointing, directing, limping alongside, and holding on to one another, cheering others on, blocking and tackling.

As I push and scramble on the field, here are some thoughts to build unity as we throw hand-signals, pray, and spur each other on:

• The Coach and Playbook are vital. We have great examples on the field, but we work together best when each one talks to the Coach and studies the Playbook personally. When we don’t, even the best of intentions are ineffective.
• Every player/counselor belongs on the field. A counselee needs a biblical counselor that is engaged, walking the talk, praying, and getting dirty in this thing called “life.” We carry the ball, block, tackle, and work to protect one another. There is no bench in the Christian life; there are no spectators.
• In one sense, we're all on the field: each of us should give sound, biblical advice, each of us is struggling and playing. On the other hand, each person uses his or her spiritual gifts to benefit everyone. In addition to hands-on counseling, there are needs to communicate, treat the wounded, provide water, cheer and encourage, make deliveries to the field, run the chain, etc. We're all working together both on and off the field. But if everyone only want to give biblical counsel to the exclusion of other jobs, things are left undone and everyone suffers.*
• No player or team member is more important than another. We have different gifts, callings, and responsibilities, but we must guard against discrimination based on differences in lingo, resources, plays, and expertise. When we’re all heading the same direction, listening to the same Coach and using the same Playbook, the brand of socks we wear doesn’t matter.  As one Youtube-made-famous-woman said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” We all have more than enough of the Master’s work to keep us pressing onward and upward together.

In and through it all, If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  (1 Corinthians 13:2, The Message)

*I find it interesting how many spiritual gifts are commanded for everyone, but there are some individuals who are especially gifted in that area.

For example, we're all commanded to teach (Matthew 28:20, the Great Commission) but some have the gift of teaching (Romans 12:7, 1 Corinthians 12:28-29). We're all commanded to serve one another (Galatians 5:13), but some have the gift of service (Romans 12:7, 1 Peter 4:11).

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the higher gifts.

And I will show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.(1 Cor. 12:12-13:13)

God's Best

Yesterday I said, "Whatever God allows at any point in time is His best for me." Later in the day I walked out the door and stepped in a hole, twisting my ankle. As I lay on the ground looking at the sky I said, "Okay, God, this may be Your best, but could You make it a little less painful?"

As I hobble from one place to another I am reminded that God's best is not always pleasant or easy. But--I am confident that what is happening  is in the hand of God because "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. How does God define good? Being conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:28-29 Sydney paraphrase) What's happening right now is God's best because He did not withhold His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all--how will He, with Him, not freely give us all things? (Romans 8:32, Sydney paraphrase).

So if God works all things to make me more like Jesus and if He doesn't withhold any good thing, then this.... This is best. This is best for me. This is best for me right now.

How about you? Are you enjoying blessings? Struggling to trust? Finding it difficult to ask for help? God is much more concerned about changing each of us and our hearts than our circumstances. In fact, He is using and has designed specific circumstances to move our focus from earthly, horizontal struggles to His heavenly, vertical provision.

What's God's best for you today? Leave a comment and encourage others if it isn't too much trouble.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:26-39)

Good For The Soul

Maybe you, like me, have stood at the back of the store staring at the latest version of HDTV. The detail and color are riveting. Fascinating. And I wonder if maybe I've fallen into an Alice in Wonderland world where everything is sharper, clearer, faster than real life?

Although I'm very content to be inside (my favorite childhood summer was spent reading 70-odd books and listening to Tchaikovsky), I made my way outdoors this afternoon and at one point I heard myself say, "This is very good for my soul."

And it was then that I realized I was living in high definition--it's what so many people want and don't have. It's why resolution and megapixels appeal to us. We need, we want, to experience life. But life is so hard. We want the GREAT parts of life, the FUN parts, the YUMMY, GORGEOUS, SPECTACULAR parts of life without the mundane, sad, difficult, not-so-great parts of life. We don't want to go to the same job, wear the same clothes, eat the same food, pay the same bills (or struggle to pay the same bills). We don't want to listen to children whine, wash dishes, put (blank) away, fold laundry, mow the yard, fix the plumbing, get on the same bus, work with that difficult person.... need I go on?

And yet, as I felt the weight of apples from the tree drop in my picking bag and watched the chickens at work below, there was a sense of satisfaction. There was joy in doing what needed to be done; in seeing and enjoying the world at work. When dust blew in my eyes as I charged over uneven blades of grass and cars whizzed by on the highway, I said, "This is good."

I have noticed in the quiet, mundane, difficult, and trying moments of life, I pray. I think of others. I am aware of my need and sin and forgiveness; of grace, mercy and justice. I hear my thoughts and my heart speaks. God listens, knows, and reveals. When I'm not writing or planning or being entertained, there is a moment to whisper, "This is good for my soul."

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness  for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23 ESV)