Because I'm Basically Wicked

It was a grumpy week. My husband couldn't get it right. I went off on a two-day silent rant due to a simple inconvenience (or maybe it was 3-4 days). God just wasn't enough--and the busier I was the more I stewed. It was one of those weeks.

Although I wanted (really wanted) to blame the world for my funk, I knew better. Sure, there was pressure, loss, and things didn't fit my plan, but that didn't excuse my behavior or attitude. The junk that mars my life doesn't happen on the outside, it happens on the inside.

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Jesus said, "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." Matthew 15:19 (NASB).

Evil thoughts come from my head--not my circumstances. Murder and anger result from not getting what I want (James 4:2). I'd like to think I'm not alone--that it's true for all of us--and Jesus' list continues: sexual misconduct in my thoughts and actions begins in my imagination, not anyone else's. Wanting what others have is my problem, not theirs. Accusing and speaking against another's reputation come from my mouth, not theirs.

And that was the blessing of last week. As I looked at the irritants that crept into my world, it wasn't what was happening on the outside that created impatience, unkindness, complaining, and slander. It was bitterness and discontent in my own heart that erupted out onto the lives of others.

The good news is God loves me enough to show me my imperfection. He put His finger on areas I kept for myself--that's mine; oh, yes, and that one too, and I'll keep this one for later--and reveal them. I may not know the depths of the depravity in my heart, but God does (Jeremiah 17:9) and He sent Jesus.

Jesus will forgive. Jesus will cover. Jesus will help. Jesus will restore. I remain broken, desperate and needy. And it's okay. It's okay to go back to my husband, my friend, my family confessing my sin and asking forgiveness. That's just the way it is. That's life in the raw. But through it all, Jesus loves me. And that's good news. Jesus brings forgiveness, hope, life, joy and peace.

Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.

Refrain:
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! This I know,
As He loved so long ago,
Taking children on His knee,
Saying, “Let them come to Me.”

Jesus loves me still today,
Walking with me on my way,
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live.

Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven’s gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me! He will stay
Close beside me all the way;
Thou hast bled and died for me,
I will henceforth live for Thee.

v. 1 by Anna B. Warner, 1860
v. 2-3 by David R. McGuire

ref. by William B. Bradbury, 1862

Time, Time, Time, Time....

Parts of the United States will turn their clocks ahead this weekend as a means of enjoying longer sunlit days. It's a reminder that time--while it can be rearranged--cannot be gained or changed.

Time. Time slips through our fingers. Time is precious. And how easy it is for me to confuse the importance of time and the importance of people! I get in a hurry, grow impatient, push and shove my way through tasks forgetting that time is not precious for its own sake, but for people's sake. We don't outlast time. A person comes. Presents a need. There is a moment, a precious moment to choose authenticity, to be real, to reach out. Boom wallah. The person is gone, taking their need with them. The moment has passed. And I must remember that time is precious, not because it is limited, but because time with people, for people, is limited. Temporary. Fleeting.

You may remember the story of my friend who shared Christ with a child at Vacation Bible School. That child responded to God just days before his life ended. "There's not enough time," she'd said. And while God is the Keeper of time, the One who knows all; we make choices. We spend time. Waste time. Keep time. Use time. Watch time.

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Today I need the reminder that time is a tool to be used and managed and spent, not for its own sake, but for others--and, ultimately, for God Himself. It is a gift worthy of stewardship. I will be held accountable for my use of time: harnessing it for God's use and glory or hoarding it for my own.

Time. It's a gift.

He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap. Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.

Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good....

Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things. So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting. 
Ecclesiastes 11:4-6, 9-10 NASB

Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were born
Or You gave birth to the earth and the world,
Even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

You turn man back into dust
And say, “Return, O children of men.”
For a thousand years in Your sight
Are like yesterday when it passes by,
Or as a watch in the night.
You have swept them away like a flood, they fall asleep;
In the morning they are like grass which sprouts anew.
In the morning it flourishes and sprouts anew;
Toward evening it fades and withers away.

For we have been consumed by Your anger
And by Your wrath we have been dismayed.
You have placed our iniquities before You,
Our secret sins in the light of Your presence.
For all our days have declined in Your fury;
We have finished our years like a sigh.
As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,
Or if due to strength, eighty years,
Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;
For soon it is gone and we fly away.
Who understands the power of Your anger
And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?
So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

Do return, O Lord; how long will it be?
And be sorry for Your servants.
O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness,
That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us,
And the years we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants
And Your majesty to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us;
And confirm for us the work of our hands;
Yes, confirm the work of our hands. (Psalm 90)

When I Can't Be Trusted

"God, you can't trust me." I heard the words before I thought them.

In that morning's Bible reading, Jeremiah told Israel to serve and obey Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. The ruler of the known world. The man who ate children (almost). Really?

Jeremiah 27 gives the command six times. Then, in the next chapter God says, "I have put a yoke of iron on the neck of all these nations, that they may serve Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon; and they will serve him. And I have also given him the beasts of the field” (Jeremiah 28:14).

But Nebuchadnezzar was a bad guy. Bad. True. God told His people to obey Him. Serve Him. Actually settle in and make Babylon a better place. Read it for yourself if you don't believe me (Jeremiah 29:4-10).

And I guess that's the encouragement. God uses wicked, evil men. He will accomplish His purpose even in His anger (Jeremiah 23:20; 30:24).

You and I make choices and God uses them. Nebuchadnezzar conquered his known world, created a city of wonder and hanging gardens that continue to amaze the world. And God used Him. That guy.

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Is God sovereign? Does He have complete control? Yes. Is man free to choose and is he responsible for His choices? Yes. Both? How? I don't know. But Nebuchadnezzar is a great example.

So this is the take-away: If God used Nebuchadnezzar, He can use me. I can't trust my own heart (Jeremiah 17:9), but God is greater than my heart. And sometimes God will require me to obey the bad guy--not do bad things, but live in an uncomfortable situation I don't like in a place I don't want to be under the authority of someone who doesn't deserve it. That's okay. I'm not trusting that individual with my life, I'm trusting God. I'm not going to be there forever, just until God says, "Enough." My job is not to save the world, but to become more like Jesus in my own little orbit. And even that's too big for me (without His help).

So what are you doing? Keep doing it. How is God working? Keep your eyes open. He uses each of us with our unique personalities, gifts, influence, geographical placement--all of it--because He's really that big. And He has a plan. The choice is yours: His way or your way.

"Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.


"Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called." 
1 Corinthians 7:17-24

"Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.  Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.

"This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us." 1 John 3:18-24