The Ole Love Yourself Debacle

"To love your neighbor as you love yourself means you have to love yourself first." I've heard it on Christian radio, at my kitchen table, in the car. And it's not true.  I'll put it out there and, perhaps, suffer for it. There is no command in the Bible to love yourself. There are no directives on how to love yourself more or better or biblically. Those who disagree generally use a portion of Scripture and draw inferences. I cannot think of one place in the Bible, Old Testament or New that commands me to love myself--or gives the example of Jesus teaching and modeling self before others.

True love does not come from my heart. This will bust your bubble--the natural, stinky heart of mine doesn't love you. It can't. There is nothing in me that will seek your good above my own, that will do what you want instead of what I want with pure motives. For that same reason, I cannot love myself any more than I can love you.
True love comes from God for "God is love." Want love? Go to God. Want to love others better? More? Love them, period? Go to God.

If you and I find ourselves critical, judgmental, gossiping, slandering fools it's because we have failed to recognize God's love for us. When I read Scripture as a list of do's and don't's or failures and successes it's because of the way I view God, not because of the way God views me. How often I turn from feasting--choking--on dry bread at His table, then turn and apply that same judgment to others.

But when I pray and ask God for His view of Scripture and read it with an eye for who He is--for grace, love and mercy--drinking in the richness of His goodness, I display and share that same goodness with others. I view myself and others through the lens of God's grace rather than the lens of my need--my need to be better, my need to know more, my need to excel, my need to please God. The nourishment I receive from God is passed on to others and we grow.  Together.

Through Christ, I experience the love of God--all of it--and it is steadfast. Through faith in Christ I am accepted, wanted, covered, protected, cared for. I do not need to perform, be better, have more of, do more. I am. Jesus loves me. Jesus gave it all--for me. And although I do not deserve His death (or His life) it is mine. Because of who He is. That's grace. That's God.
And that's enough.

What if God, wanting to show His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath prepared for destruction,  and that He might make known the riches of His glory on the vessels of mercy, which He had prepared beforehand for glory, even us whom He called, not of the Jews only, but also of the Gentiles?
As He says also in Hosea:

“I will call them My people, who were not My people,

And her beloved, who was not beloved.”

“And it shall come to pass in the place where it was said to them,
‘You are not My people,’
There they shall be called sons of the living God.” (Romans 9:22-26)

 

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,  even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:4-10)

 

 

How to Do Everything

You may remember my Congolese friend, Joy, that I meet with regularly to study English. When she came to America three years ago, she spoke multiple languages, but no English. Our wonderful God arranged for their family to be taken in by Tom, who works with Wycliffe Bible Translators, and his wife. Two years ago Joy's family moved from Florida to Iowa and started attending our church. When we began meeting together she was still learning the names of basic objects. We added verb tenses and prepositions along with practical helps like running a dishwasher, following directions on a boxed mix and cooking a turkey in a roaster.
Last Fall she held up her English Bible and said, "This is what I need more." She understands most of the Sunday sermons, even spoken through our West Virginian pastor! But she wanted to spend  time learning and studying God's Word.
We used the same Bible study as the other women at church, "Developing Genuine Friendships" and continue to use it as our guide. Each week we read the verse printed in the book, look it up in our Bibles, and discuss any unknown words before sharing the friendship quality and application. Sharing and writing our answers in English has led to some beautiful and precious insights.
This time, we read with Philippians 2:14, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." After reading and discussing it, I admitted to complaining about someone who makes a big to-do about being a Christian, but is unkind, short-tempered and rude. "I don't know if I should say something or not," I mused.
Joy, hands crossed on the table, pointed her index finger at me, leaned forward and said, "You--do everything without grumbling or complaining. Let Jesus talk to her."
Oh, how I love Joy! Her love for Christ and wisdom speak to my heart. By simplifying the words of Scripture and sharing from her own life, she displays Jesus in so many ways. Her schedule and demands are more rigorous than most, but she never complains. She is thankful!
And as David and I read the Psalms this morning, I was reminded of her and how we are able to do everything: without complaining. We can--if, and when--we praise God and give thanks.
To quote Joy, "I am healthy and my family is good. Everything God gives me is good.  Ehhh! Why would I complain?"

"I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
² Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
³ Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable.

⁴ One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
⁵ I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,
And on Your wondrous works.
⁶ Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts,
And I will declare Your greatness.
⁷ They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness,
And shall sing of Your righteousness.

⁸ The Lord is gracious and full of compassion,
Slow to anger and great in mercy.
⁹ The Lord is good to all,
And His tender mercies are over all His works.

¹⁰ All Your works shall praise You, O Lord,
And Your saints shall bless You.
¹¹ They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom,
And talk of Your power,
¹² To make known to the sons of men His mighty acts,
And the glorious majesty of His kingdom.
¹³ Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
And Your dominion endures throughout all generations.

¹⁴ The Lord upholds all who fall,
And raises up all who are bowed down.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
And You give them their food in due season.
¹⁶ You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.

¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.
¹⁹ He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He also will hear their cry and save them.
²⁰ The Lord preserves all who love Him,
But all the wicked He will destroy.
²¹ My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord,
And all flesh shall bless His holy name
Forever and ever."

Psalm 145 

God Says, "Share"

In college, my roommate was in-state and I was out-of-state. She went home on weekends. I received care packages. Each time a package arrived she would chime, "God says, 'Share!'" I didn't want to. But I did--most of the time.

She was right of course. God says, "Share!" even in ministry.

How often do we take pride in being the only person to do a specific job in our local church or community? Long ago a friend shared her recipe for Scotcheroos then said, "But don't make them for church pot-lucks. That's my job."

We want to do the job well, to the best of our ability, but so easily exchange pride for humility. We begin to see ourselves as the only person who can do that job--or the only one to do it the way we want it done--and we lose sight of the purpose. God is not about the job. He's about Christlikeness: behind the coffeepot or offering plate, piano or pulpit. We count it an honor to be asked; validation to continue; imperative that we stay. But that's not biblical, nor is it right. Perhaps we've missed something in the teaching of the talents, the idea that those who are faithful with little will be entrusted with much. Jesus said it. And preached it (Matthew 25). But do we get it the way He meant it? Between our pride and independent society, we have a tendency to see the individual rather than the community.

The servant who had five talents, traded them. That involved someone besides himself.

The servant who had two talents did likewise.

The servant who had one talent dug a hole in the ground (by himself) and buried it (by himself).

When the master returned, he gave an excuse which he'd thought of--by himself.

Chances are the two who increased the new, generous, and amazing gift asked around. They sought help, counsel and ideas. "A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel..." Proverbs 1:5. They interacted with others to multiply the master's wealth through investments that suited their ability to manage it. They learned from others' mistakes. They looked and thought and asked and observed. And they were rewarded for their faithfulness (Matthew 25:21,23).

Increasingly, I am learning to "Share!" when it comes to ministry. A parent has the built-in privilege of training and sharing ministry with their children at home, in the local church and community. Although it is not without struggle, children imitate their parents for better or for worse.  Shame on us if we don't capture the opportunity at hand whether it's serving together in the church nursery, preparing meals, visiting friends in nursing homes or illness, or glorifying God through music together.

What takes more time, effort and faith is to do the same with others. As we seek to serve Him (not ourselves), we will experience an outpouring of love and desire to include others in the tasks God has given us. Praying and watching, we can come alongside new riders and encourage them to climb on the seat of service. We cannot simply push them into the world, however, without  first running alongside, hand firmly on the back of the seat. Spoiler: It is more difficult to encourage someone else than to do a task than to do it ourselves. As they tip and turn we labor to breathe and keep our balance, bent awkwardly, running but bearing the weight of their spiritual struggles as part of our own. And always, always, we are dogged by pride. It's a high-risk proposition.

For my part, I've let go of the seat too early. I've failed to be patient or understanding. More often, I've continued serving in my own way, in my own niche, neglecting the calling to share and expand God's good gifts in others.

The process, the modeling of a life lived in trust and obedience, is grace. We share opportunities, blessings and struggles of life-ministry. Then, as God allows, we let loose and watch them go! Another believer is enabled to use his or her life more freely. The Master's talents have been multiplied.

Service is not the goal. Christ is. But our love for Him is evident in our love for others. May we not be so blind-sighted in our service or ministry that we lose sight of a God who says, "Share! I did."

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20