It's the Little Things

As our children were getting ready for school this morning, I offered to help.  "Got it, Mom."  Looking more closely I asked, "Would you like me to wash your glasses?"
"That'd be great!"
In that moment I was reminded that loving others, serving and ministering to their needs is not the big, never-fear-mom-is-here, heroic moment.  It's the watching, the seeing, the willingness to address the little things that lighten another's load.  It's saying in my heart and by my actions, what's important to you is important to me.  And for me, lately, it means being gentle--knowing another's weakness and protecting instead of damaging.
I have been helping Joy, my friend from the Congo, learn English.*  This fall we started the Bible study, Developing Genuine Friendships.  Helping her translate the Scripture and questions has been enlightening--for me.  Our daughter, Laura, said, "It's like being a thesaurus, Mom, you just have to use a lot of synonyms."
Last week we studied Philippians 4:7, "Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near." The English word gentle was new to her.  "When our second child was born, our oldest was Caroline's age," I said, gesturing at her 2-year-old.  "We told him over and over to be gentle with the baby--to be careful, soft."  Yes, she understood.  "Or, if you carry an egg home from the market in your hand, you're gentle because it's easily broken.  That's what we should be like with others.  Our gentleness should be evident; something they can see, something that's shown."  And with each description, my mind said, "ouch!" thinking of the many times I had not been gentle. This was a hidden area I struggled with but couldn't put my finger on. God was using this time with Joy and His Word as a tender reminder.
"The next part says, 'The Lord is near.'  Maybe because God is near--like me with our new baby.  He is watching, like a Father, and we are to be careful with those he loves. Or it could mean our gentleness is seen because God is nearby, helping us be gentle."
For the next question in the study, "application," we shared personal examples and were encouraged that God is changing us.
In the week since we studied that verse, I have recalled her beautiful lilting voice recite Philippians 4:7 and I have been blessed.  I have examined the speed and abruptness with which I go about my day.  It's fine when I'm alone, but as soon as someone else is involved, I need to slow down--to be aware of their interests and limits and adjust my tone, focus and process accordingly. 
How good God is to use the little things to teach us--and to allow us to love others through the little things of life!

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

*Shared with permission.

The Value of One Another

I enjoyed a great privilege this week:  the mirror only a true friend can hold.  Last week's post was originally emotional and overwrought.  Thanks to the faithful words of a friend, I went back and adjusted a few things. My goal has never been to exploit you, the reader, or make this a public confessional.  My hope is that we will all be encouraged and changed.  If I can contribute to your growth through my own life and applying the Word of God, it's a small price for holiness.
That was the gift from one friend among many.  Perhaps you, like me, could name the
- person you call with off-the-wall prayer requests, knowing she will keep it in strictest confidence,
- person who is beyond you in life and experience, but willingly shares from her own walk with God,
- person who is fun, who laughs with you and for you,
- person who calls you on your mistakes and loves you anyway.
Each one is treasure. Two years ago I stopped to chat with a couple of older saints in a golf cart and received an amazing gift toward building friendships: a vision for accountability.
Up to that point, I had avoided all references to accountability.  It didn't speak, "friend" as much as "foe." It felt like those asking wanted to swap responsibility--yours for mine.  Nope.  Not interested.
One of the women in the golf cart shared a model for accountability she was actively using and it sounded wonderful.  A small group of women (three-ish) met for an hour, once a week.  There was no Bible study, no book or curriculum, just life sharing. Each person needed to be willing to change and willing to challenge others.
After mulling it over, I prayed and did research.  Online articles by Dr. Richard J. Krejcir pointed to biblical examples and directives for interpersonal discipleship.  There is a measure of discernment needed in sharing our lives, especially as it relates to others, but we are also called to open ourselves and allow others to speak truth. It's part of the one-another's of Scripture. 
In a true accountability group, "others" ask hard questions, follow up on things I'd rather forget, and encourage me to endure.  They don't assume responsibility for my choices, but they care, they ask and they apply specific Scripture.  I listen to their struggles and victories and ask questions, seeking to keep Christ at the center.  The hardest part is the group size--making and keeping it small.  We want to include everyone and exclude no one, but it's best not to, just for this time.  Jesus's intimate group included Peter, James and John.  He exposed Himself to them as He did to no one else, He rebuked them, asked them hard questions, and allowed them the privilege of doing the same.
We began more than a year ago and decided to memorize the New Testament book of James as a jumping off point each week.  We haven't finished, but we're making progress.  It's an extremely good, rich, deep time of fellowship.  6:15a.m. comes early, but it's worth the yawns.  As we drink coffee and take notes we share laughter, sometimes tears, but God is there, directing and using us, for His glory and our good. 
And it isn't just us--our husbands, children, local church, co-workers, and people whose lives we touch benefit because we're not in it for ourselves, we're in it for the glory of God.
"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called,  with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace....
And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers,  for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,  till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,  but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love" (Ephesians 4:1-6,11-16 NKJV).

 

Living Life Backwards

"This is what my father used to call, 'too-big-for-your-britches," my husband coached one of our children.  I listened with humility.  God and I just had the same conversation.

The holidays made devotional time difficult.  There just isn't a routine from one day to the next and my spiritual appetite (which decreases with time, unlike a physical one), had waned and wavered. 

Sunday was a busy day of ministry--Sunday school, choir, youth, worship.  A wonderful day.  I crawled into bed, ready for the end.  Before I knew it, my review of life was more about me and less about others.  The downward, negative spiral carried over into a wrong-side-of-the-bed start to Monday.  Realizing I was overly critical of others, I prayed, "God, please make me more aware of my own sin than the sins of others."  It was a dangerous request.

After everyone left for school and work, my heart said, "Your know what your problem is: you don't love people enough." Lie. Loving others isn't the problem; loving God is.

I answered, "I know I haven't been reading my Bible enough.  I should start with prayer and Bible reading.  That will help."

"But you've been reading Isaiah.  That's part of the Old Testament. That's not going to help."  Lie. God never changes. "You should skip it until you've figured out the love-thing." Lie. "Not by righteous works which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us...."

"The New Testament.  1 Corinthians 13.  I should review and meditate on that."

"Phtt.  You already know 1 Corinthians 13.  What good's it going to do to read it one more time?" Lie.  "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God."

So I read 1 Corinthians 13 by God's grace.  And repeated it.  And prayed.  And meditated on it, focusing on Jesus love for me.  Instead of me loving others, I could see God loving me and realized I was backwards in the saddle--looking at others instead of Him.

Sin is ugly.  And deceitful.

But God, in His goodness, allowed me a closer view of my need. 

Miles J. Stanford wrote, "There will always be a degree of 'labor' involved [in sanctification].... because self will never change;  it will always be sinful, never possessed of one good thing.  We must count on the exchange of the cross to separate us from the influence of self, freeing us to rest in the life of our Lord." (The Complete Green Letters,  p. 234)

Instead of standing with my back to the cross, looking at the shadow it cast on the lives of others, God turned me around.  To face Jesus.  And there, gazing upon the cross, I saw my failures in the light of God's incredible love, lost in the wonder of God's glory.  Filled with the love of the Father and Son, I was empowered by the Spirit to love others with abandon and sincerity.

My britches are a little more comfortable--and it's easier to move forward when you're facing the right direction.  The busyness has calmed.  I am regaining an appetite for God's Word.  And Jesus continues to be more gracious, more wonderful, more generous, more loving, kind and gentle than ever before.

"Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat.  And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”

So he said, “Teacher, say it.”

"There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, 

“Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head.  You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in.  You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Luke 7:36-50 NKJV)