Want Change?

Limp, hobble, stop.  Limp, hobble, stop. "Unclean! Make room!" A sharp stone cut his foot and blood flowed, but he didn't feel it.  He scratched scaly skin on his face with scabbed, stubby digits.
"Jesus?  Lord?"  And Jesus drew near. 
For the leper, life was difficult, painful, long.  Each day, each meal, was uncertain. People were impossible.  Those who could help didn't.  Those who wanted to, couldn't.  Each agonizing step led to death, one foot in front of the other.  Until Jesus came.  Compared to leper two thousand years ago, no one was more poor in spirit than he, no one more hungry, thirsty or persecuted; no one more anxious and worried, no one more judged and condemned. No one longed more for the Golden Rule, no one saw more clearly the hypocrisy of its spiritual leaders.
So he came.  He came to Jesus and asked to be cleansed.  Not healed.  Cleansed.  The words, the power and authority of Jesus' teaching spoke to his heart; changed his thinking.  As he sat, perhaps hour after hour, he wanted something more.  He didn't approach Jesus for physical healing, but for the opportunity to enter the courts of the temple once more, to be right with God, to have his heart renewed--and physical healing was the vehicle, the ticket, to restoration.  Physical healing made it possible for him to worship and be one with God's people.
Jesus heard.  He inquired.  He touched.  He healed.  He restored.
Jesus' goal was not to heal broken, wounded bodies.  He is the Ruler of heaven's kingdom.  Reigning deity in the peasant garb (Philippians 2).  A walking, talking sacrifice--dead man walking--that would lead us to God (1 Peter 3:18).  It is only as we listen that we desire Him, that our eyes move from the immediate to the eternal, from the story to the Author.  Isn't that what Jesus taught on the mount?  "...if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.... seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness....he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter" (The Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7).
Want change?  Need change?  Long for change?  You will not find it apart from God's Word.  Read it.  Bathe in it.  Meditate on it.  Think it.  Read it again.  Then ask.  You'll be amazed at what God is already doing, and will continue to do.

What I Need

I desperately need to read my Bible. 
Sometimes I don't think so.
Sometimes I don't want to.
Sometimes I put other things first.
But I need it.

Why?

Because it's different than who I am.
It's different than what I think.
It's different than what I do.
It's different than what I say.
It's the opposite of my natural tendencies.

On my own, I flatter, gossip, lie.
On my own, I overindulge and wallow.
On my own I malign and protect myself.
On my own I manipulate and scheme.
On my own I meddle and whine.

God says speak the truth in love.
God says put others first.
God says don't worry.
God says trust.

And I can't.
But He can.
And He will.
What I need...is Jesus.  Jesus from within; Jesus from without.

Jesus prayed, "Sanctify them in the truth; Your Word is truth" (John 17:17 NASB).
"Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105).
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

When Little Boys Grow Up

I am sad this morning.  If you are one of my close friends, you may be tempted to call or email, but honestly, that would make me feel worse.  Just say a prayer and let me write and God will continue His good work.

Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting a new mom.  There were diaper bags by the door, toys on the floor.  There was an army-crawling baby and fresh banana bread.  It was a wonderful time, a time of reflection for me and new experiences for her.  Her little guy grunted and squawked.  He squirmed and wiggled.  Oh, those were hard days.  Longs days.  Days of isolation, exhaustion, and few rewards.  And I thought of my little wiggling, grunting boy who is away at his first year of college.  There was a burst of joy and sadness.  And gratitude.  God has been so good.  This new mother, with her eyes on Jesus, is already praying for and with her son.  Her husband is man of faith. What a joyous, blessed future they have!

Then last night I watched from a distance as a father brought his boys to church.  He won't stay.  Hasn't stayed.  He brings the boys and disappears.  He moved out on his family.  Church is not a comfortable place. Ah, what heartache.  And I thought of all that father has given up.  Of the brokenness, pain, tears, and struggle those little boys experience and will continue to experience.  I couldn't smile.  I couldn't wave.  I couldn't bring myself to welcome him.  I was angry and disappointed seeing what he doesn't, or chooses not to.

And when my husband returned from an afternoon at the farm show with our son and his new roommates, I was jealous and upset and I didn't know why.  And I missed our little boy and I was angry at that father and I wanted to encourage that new mother.  And saw the wonderful, incredible privilege of the long nights, the short nights, the frustration, the exhaustion, the tiredness of picking up after everyone and the countless piles of laundry and floor silt.  And I am seeing more and more how good God is and how frail I am and how many times I depended on Him without realizing it.

I've added a new page to this blog, "Praying Hands."  It's the prayer pattern we taught our children when they were little.  Use it, personalize it.  If you have children at home, revel in their prayers.  You will never regret the time spent loving your children as God does, teaching them as Christ would, living with them in the same way the Spirit lives within you.

Jesus said, "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." (John 15:10-12)
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:15-17)