What I Need

I desperately need to read my Bible. 
Sometimes I don't think so.
Sometimes I don't want to.
Sometimes I put other things first.
But I need it.

Why?

Because it's different than who I am.
It's different than what I think.
It's different than what I do.
It's different than what I say.
It's the opposite of my natural tendencies.

On my own, I flatter, gossip, lie.
On my own, I overindulge and wallow.
On my own I malign and protect myself.
On my own I manipulate and scheme.
On my own I meddle and whine.

God says speak the truth in love.
God says put others first.
God says don't worry.
God says trust.

And I can't.
But He can.
And He will.
What I need...is Jesus.  Jesus from within; Jesus from without.

Jesus prayed, "Sanctify them in the truth; Your Word is truth" (John 17:17 NASB).
"Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105).
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

When Little Boys Grow Up

I am sad this morning.  If you are one of my close friends, you may be tempted to call or email, but honestly, that would make me feel worse.  Just say a prayer and let me write and God will continue His good work.

Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting a new mom.  There were diaper bags by the door, toys on the floor.  There was an army-crawling baby and fresh banana bread.  It was a wonderful time, a time of reflection for me and new experiences for her.  Her little guy grunted and squawked.  He squirmed and wiggled.  Oh, those were hard days.  Longs days.  Days of isolation, exhaustion, and few rewards.  And I thought of my little wiggling, grunting boy who is away at his first year of college.  There was a burst of joy and sadness.  And gratitude.  God has been so good.  This new mother, with her eyes on Jesus, is already praying for and with her son.  Her husband is man of faith. What a joyous, blessed future they have!

Then last night I watched from a distance as a father brought his boys to church.  He won't stay.  Hasn't stayed.  He brings the boys and disappears.  He moved out on his family.  Church is not a comfortable place. Ah, what heartache.  And I thought of all that father has given up.  Of the brokenness, pain, tears, and struggle those little boys experience and will continue to experience.  I couldn't smile.  I couldn't wave.  I couldn't bring myself to welcome him.  I was angry and disappointed seeing what he doesn't, or chooses not to.

And when my husband returned from an afternoon at the farm show with our son and his new roommates, I was jealous and upset and I didn't know why.  And I missed our little boy and I was angry at that father and I wanted to encourage that new mother.  And saw the wonderful, incredible privilege of the long nights, the short nights, the frustration, the exhaustion, the tiredness of picking up after everyone and the countless piles of laundry and floor silt.  And I am seeing more and more how good God is and how frail I am and how many times I depended on Him without realizing it.

I've added a new page to this blog, "Praying Hands."  It's the prayer pattern we taught our children when they were little.  Use it, personalize it.  If you have children at home, revel in their prayers.  You will never regret the time spent loving your children as God does, teaching them as Christ would, living with them in the same way the Spirit lives within you.

Jesus said, "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." (John 15:10-12)
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:15-17)
 

The Value of Knowing One's Self

Awhile back I shared how God chose to use my area of weakness (keeping house) to minister to others ("God in my Weakness").  In the space of two days, I visited three of my friend's homes and helped them clean and organize: one who is entering full-time missions with four young children and needs to down-size big time, one who moved into a new home with no built-in storage and brought  children and furnishings from Africa, the U.K., Germany and Kenya, and a family from the Congo who purchased their first American home.

What a privilege and humbling opportunity!  Being asked was a compliment.  Spending time with them and seeing their hearts in their homes was a blessing.

Our time was not so much about my expertise (ha!) as it was for each mom and family to understand and know themselves and their needs.  I simply entered their homes and asked, "How can I help?"  Followed by, "What do you need here?  What have you done in the past?  What is do-able for your family?" etc.  They needed to discover themselves and think through a new situation.  After talking about who they are and how their family works, we considered options and possibilities.

When Christ moves into our lives through faith, He knows it all--but we will miss much of the blessing and fullness if we don't study ourselves as we learn of Him and His ways.

That came to mind as I read between books yesterday:

"As a parent, my goal is not only that my children come to know God, but that in so doing, they also come to know themselves.  It's only when a person knows God that he can truly know himself, and as this happens, his hunger for God increases.  This critical interplay of the spiritual life is what we want to see produced in our teenagers, a deep personal knowledge of God and an every-growing knowledge of self."  Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp, p.

"The oft-quoted words, 'not I, but Christ,' tend to give the believer the impression that he as a person is crucified, and out of the picture, and now there is only Christ as his new life.  He is wont to feel that he must somehow get himself out of the way, that Christ may be all.  Granted, the old self must go down--but the new self must grow up.
"It is true that He is our risen life, but it is also true that His is the life and nature of our newly created life, 'For to me to live is Christ,' 'Christ, who is our life; (Phil. 1:21; Col. 3:4, italics mine).  We are not to become lost in Him, but He is to be found in us. 'That the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh' (2 Cor. 4:11).  He lives in me, not instead of me; He is the source and motivation of my Christian life.
"I am to realize and rest in the fact that it is my being, my personality, which is enlifed by the human-divine life and nature of the Lord Jesus.  I am the same person, but with a new life in union with His life.  By the ministry of the indwelling Holy Spirit I will grow in grace and increasingly be conformed to His image."  The Complete Green Letters by Miles J. Stanford, p. 146.

How well do I know myself, my habits, my abilities, my weaknesses?  Each is intended for the honor and glory of Jesus Christ.  As I look into His Word, I need to ask, "How would Jesus live and look in my being?"  That's worth thinking and praying about!