Waiting

This morning I stood in the door frame waiting for our 16-year-old daughter to get situated and pull out of the garage on her first day of school this year.  She didn't need my help.  I didn't have anything more to say or encourage or suggest.  But she looked to see if I was watching.  She just wanted to know I was there. 

Many, many times over the years God has worked to teach me the value of waiting and this morning, I realized why waiting is so difficult.  It's difficult because of me. 

If I wait things may not turn out the way I want them.  If I wait, I am not doing the thing I want to do, I'm doing what someone else wants to do.  When I wait, I rarely see an immediate benefit, which is generally annoying, irritating, frustrating--especially if I haven't "agreed" to wait (i.e. the "shortest" line at the grocery store which takes the longest amount of time).

But waiting expresses value--a confidence, an affection.  It is the giving of me for you; my way for yours.  It is submission to the will of another. It is beautiful.  It is Christlike.  It is the way of God.  No matter the circumstance, I am ultimately waiting on God.  Whether I'm waiting for Him to move the line or give wisdom or answer a prayer, my willingness to wait and depend on Him is the way of Christ.  It is an echo of His prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done."

What are you waiting for?  Is your heart quieted and content in the lap of God?  Or are you clamoring for more?

"O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
² Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
³ O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever."  Psalm 131

Confessions of an Enthusiast

If you're married, you probably found there are times your spouse catches you off guard--even though you know better. One of David's first glimpses into my desire for and execution of ideas was when I insisted we have a pool with goldfish inside the church for our wedding.  If we were going to walk over the arched, white-washed bridge, we needed water, rocks, live plants and goldfish!  I know he really didn't want to tote in the truckload of rocks to line the pool on either side, set up tarps, plants, and settle the goldfish, but he did. What a wonderful husband!  And a wonderful memory.

It's been 23 years and my enthusiasm still stretches him--and gets me into things I haven't totally thought through.  So here's a public confession and apology to our fellow youth workers after last night's meeting.  I see a vision.  I get excited.  I know just how it could be done.  And, at least for a time, I cast that vision one way and another and another.  It's so real.  It's so amazing.  It's so do-able.  It's so....  Ahhh, and the next morning reality hits as I struggle to get out of bed and do the tasks that belong to today. 

This morning, before coffee, I wondered how I could be excited about anything.  After the first cup I struggled with how to do what needed to be done now, today.  By the time I drained the second cup, clothes had been gathered, wash started, beds made, dishes done and I was praying for those who patiently listened to and considered the wonderful ideas we tossed around, knowing their plates are much more full than mine.

Now that I've had time in the Bible, my heart and mind are more settled and I have hope.  This is what I read in Matthew chapter 1 this morning:  "So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord" (v. 22).  Matthew was writing about the beginning of Jesus' earthly life--his conception, the state of Israel and the set up of Joseph and Mary's circumstances.  Their lives were turned upside down by Jesus' coming.  Their circumstances appeared out of control--and they were (out of their control--aren't they always?).  But God knew.  He was working His plan.

The take away?  There is nothing I can do apart from God's purpose and plan.  He will bring about exactly what He has in mind--and I hope to be part of it--but it doesn't depend on my ideas or my efforts or my limitations. And those things we talked about and got excited about and wondered about last night will happen just as God intends.  How that removes the pressure, the weight, the fear of criticism, the frustration.  God has done.  God is doing.  God will do.  And we are blessed to be a part.

God said, "Let their be light."  And there was light.  But His Word in our hearts is accomplished on a much different time frame.  May we be true to His Word, faithful and obedient servants who love Him with the excitement and enthusiasm He deserves.

Are you an enthusiast or do you live/work with one?  Would you be willing to share how God is using it in your life?

The Other Line

We just returned from "the happiest place on earth."  This particular amusement park has a fabulous new feature that saves your place in line.  One simply runs an admittance ticket into the hold-my-place-please machine and returns an hour or two later to be ushered to the front.  Each time our family walked past the sweaty, impatient, foot-shifting line I felt a twinge of guilt and secret indulgence.  I had to remind myself that we all had the same access, but we spent it on different rides, at different times.

During one of our quick trips I overheard a British teen (what a lovely accent!) ask his father why we got to go and they had to wait. "Because they've paid money for special tickets."  What?  No, we haven't! I wanted to protest.  Their conversation nagged at my thoughts as we zigged and zagged through the cue line.  I wondered if it they would have listened to me, "You can too!  Just take your tickets--the ones you came in with--and run them through the hold-my-place-please machine!"

God's gift is very much the same.  Those of us who know God, who believe Jesus died in our place and took our punishment, trust Him.  We converse with Him daily, experiencing a joy and peace unknown to the rest of the world.  The majority of people watch as we travel through life enjoying good things and bad, living by faith, living with fewer worries or cares, loving and caring for one another. How often they wish for the beauty of forgiveness, not realizing they have the same access, the same opportunity.  God has revealed Himself through His Word.  He is accessible through prayer.  We must simply let go of our way and cling to His.  This is not a ride that takes longer for some than it does for others--it's for now, for eternity. I've banked my life on it.  If you haven't, please take time to read the questions and answers in the margin on the right side of this blog.  If you have, how willing are you to share with others?  Are you living fully, to the honor and glory of God?