Focus Regained

It happened.  I allowed myself to become too busy and now I'm regretting it.  I lost sight of the reality of life and gave in to the demands of life.  They were all necessary things, but they overwhelmed the one good thing--my daily time with God.  Sick children, prior commitments, pricks at pride that persuaded me to take on just one more task.  Poof!  My morning time started with running feet instead of bended knee.

Last night as I tossed after my own bout with stomach flu I took comfort in hearing Scripture and here I am, again, to lean on and discover the fear of the Lord.  It is not an immediate find, nor a once-a-day pill.  It is not a task to check off my to-do list or to write on the calendar.  It is a searching, seeking, consuming, integral mindset that guides my life and determines my choices.  It is an awareness of the cross, of my dying Savior, of my living Lord, of my constant need and wretchedness.  The fear of the Lord is a humility of thinking, of speaking, of waiting, of living that pushes aside the razzle-dazzle and walks in faith, one step at a time.  It does not depend on the future or the finances or the forecast, but on the being in the here and now as I am conformed to the image of the Son, Jesus Christ.  This is the fear of Lord.

Back to the Book....

The Privilege of Prayer

Ahhh, a day to clean house.  When our children were small we spent a lot of time at home.  Now that they're older summer has a different pace.  Today was an unusually quiet day at home.  No bags to pack.  No children to send off.  No laundry to chase.  Instead I found joy in cleaning bathrooms and floors--and I'm not being sarcastic!  It's lovely to see the smile of shiny floors and hear the squeak of clean shower stalls.

It's hard to listen to music, however, while vacuuming.  So against the dull roar God brought individuals to mind:  a Muslim couple and their premature baby, a young cellist seeking a job, a young man at BYU for the first time, a reunited military family, the list rolled on.  As I prayed for each, for God's personal work and revelation in their lives, the sun seemed to open on the beauty of prayer.  I have no way of knowing how each of them is right now.  And they have no idea who is praying--or that anyone in particular is praying--just for them.  But as God answers prayer and speaks into their lives, gratitude is lifted to Him and Him alone.  It's not my prayers or my concern or my interest in their lives that makes a difference; it's God Himself.  What a joy to be anonymous in prayer! 

It was then that my mind turned to God's provision in my own life and how thankful I am for the anonymous voices that have echoed God's work.  What a great God--to prompt and empower His people to serve Him through the simplicity of entrusting others to His care!

"For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins"  (Colossians 1:9-14, NKJV).   

Give it Up

I didn't want to read my Bible today.  After the last couple of days it felt like no matter what I read, it would spell failure for the day.  Two days ago I meditated on Proverbs 8:13 about how the fear of God is hatred of perverse speech.  All day my thoughts were full of critical, judgmental thoughts that I struggled to harness.  I thought Proverbs was about hating the twisted words of others--but, no, I found them in myself.  Yesterday I meditated on Ezekiel 12 and God reminded me that difficult circumstances are there to drive me to Him.  Wouldn't you know that the circumstances nearly overcame me? I found myself grumbling and justifying my grumpiness while listening to a gravelly Star Wars voice echo, "The flesh is strong with this one."

How would I fail today?  Only God knows, but I knew my options were limitless.  As my husband, David, and I read Jeremiah together I was reminded that God doesn't want fancy-schmancy sacrifices (Jeremiah 8:20).  He simply calls me to do it His way--to depend on Him, to walk in the death and resurrection of Jesus instead of my own strength.  Today's motto:  give it up.  Whatever I'm holding onto to make myself good, better, or righteous.  I don't need it.  It won't work.  I only need Him.  So, those critical thoughts?  Give em up.  It's not my job to "fix" others.  My reaction to difficult circumstances? Give it up.  It's not my job to "fix" the circumstances. 

Are you ready to give it up?  Or are you afraid to read your Bible too?