It is a mighty, humbling experience to be used by God. At some point, as we follow Jesus, we realize we have been part of something no less than miraculous. In plain sight, in a very normal setting, God has accomplished the impossible.
In Mark 6 Jesus was offended in Nazareth and left. He commissioned the twelve. And, with increased exposure, Herod heard and confused Jesus with John the Baptist, whom he had beheaded. When the twelve returned, they reported to Jesus, and he took them to a remote place. Apparently it wasn't remote enough because the people followed. Jesus then fed them all with five loaves and two fish and we are told there were twelve baskets left.
At the end of the day, Jesus sent his disciples across the sea, dismissed the crowds, and took time to pray. "Well into the night," the passage says, "He saw them straining at the oars, because the wind was against them." The end of this story left me curious.
Very early in the morning he came toward them walking on the sea and wanted to pass by them. When they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke with them and said, “Have courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Then he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. They were completely astounded, because they had not understood about the loaves. Instead, their hearts were hardened. (Mark 6:48-52)
As I read the last sentence I wondered about their hearts being hardened. Why? What just happened? It was an amazing day--another amazing day--of being with Jesus.
Is it speaking of the disciple's unwillingness to glorify God for His provision of bread? Were their hearts hardened because they took Jesus for granted? Did they see themselves as part of God's provision to the people? Was the day's miracle somehow about them and not about Jesus? Perhaps they were afraid.
Perhaps, as the storm raged, they grew angry. Jesus had sent them into this mess and He intentionally stayed behind. Perhaps they felt abandoned. Then, to top it all off, in spite of the miracles they performed while traveling and returning to distribute bread, they had no power over the storm. Bad things were happening to them, not others--to them--and they didn’t have the ability to change the circumstances. After they'd been at it for a few hours, Jesus showed up. “He got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased."
God used them and they saw miraculous things, participated in amazing, impossible realities, but without Jesus, they had nothing. Like Superman exposed to kryptonite, they were normal, limited human beings with no special power or authority whatsoever. And their response? "Instead [of giving thanks; instead of worship] their hearts were hardened.” (phrases added)
That may not be an accurate rendering of the passage, but it serves as a warning and reminder. The work of God is always, will always be and has always been, about Him. I desire to be a vessel of His grace, mercy, and love. I choose to align myself with Him and submit to His Word and Spirit. But I must be reminded, especially after long seasons of ministry, especially in the midst of the storm, that apart from Him, I can do nothing.
If that is not my reality; if/when I see myself as influential or important, Jesus may allow me to work, strive, and flounder on my own before He calms the storm. And in that moment I have a choice: I can be humbled or hardened. It's all about who I acknowledge as the source: God or myself.
Perhaps this serves as a reminder. Perhaps it's a warning. Either way, God is faithful and we are blessed.
