Heart Quencher

Jesus at the Center

2012-01-30T06:09:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how easy it is to lose focus, to get off-kilter in the busyness of life. Here's a post worth reading that reminds us of the Focus and how to get there:

http://theresurgence.com/2011/12/07/how-god-works-through-us

Worm-Eatin Time

2012-01-28T21:03:00.001-06:00

I've been wanting to write something warm and fuzzy, something to bring encouragement and smiles. I wanted to write about the strange young man who snuck up on our 10-year old and I from behind the garbage bins at the convenience store but didn't knock on the window until after the door was locked. I wanted to write about the beauty of singing "I Know Whom I Have Believed" and praying in Swahili/English with my friend, Joy, from the Congo. I wanted to write so many things. But what has circled me like a relentless vulture is my sin: my impatience, ingratitude, self-will, unkindness. Day after day, encounter after encounter. Don't try to make me feel better. It is what it is. And you, no doubt, have sensed it too.

The encouragement is certainly not in my actions or words. After three disheartening interactions the other morning, I pulled into the parking garage at the hospital and considered winding my way right back out again before visiting the family I'd come to see. At the rate I was going, I would cause more damage than good. In that moment God prompted me to ask--okay, beg--Him to squelch my natural tendencies. Only He knows the measure of His work.

My failure and need are not wasted, but they are painful. They soar and peck at wounded flesh, piercing and tearing. But God is faithful. And as I am reminded of my sinful self, I am grateful for a sufficient Savior. As I consider my sinful state, my eyes are opened to others who are no less thirsty for forgiveness. As I live out the consequences of my sinful choices, I yearn for a time of perfection.

This morning I confessed sins against my husband, under no duress but the screaming and clawing pride of my own heart . But what a blessed relief and generosity of heart poured over my soul in his forgiveness!

Each day, as I am convicted of and confess my sin, I hear the refrain, "Work, for the night is coming, work in the setting sun. Work, for the night is coming, when man's work is done." And Scripture reminds me that I am forgiven, redeemed and set free to live in a way that pleases the Lord (Hebrews 9:14, Colossians 1:10). "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again" (Proverbs 24:16).

Above all, it's not about what others think about my failure and sin. It's all about God, which means I won't be eating worms anytime soon, though at times I'm tempted to.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen. (Jude 24-25)

I'm Not Tired--and I'm Not a Sinner, Either

2012-01-12T06:00:00.000-06:00

The holidays have come and gone. And it's been a while since I've written, mostly because I've been substitute teaching in pre-kindergarten the last two weeks. Today is my last day for now and there are a number of them I will miss: the shy, quiet ones; the gregarious, loud ones; the dutiful, diligent ones. But one thing I started hearing from the mouths of children New Year's Day and continue to hear in the classroom is this, "I'm not tired."

What child hasn't said, "I'm not tired?" As an adult or parent, you look in their droopy eyes, watch their irritable behavior, consider their age and know that, regardless of how they feel, the facts are the facts: they're tired and they need rest. It struck me that many of us approach our spiritual lives the same way only the phrase changes to, "I'm not a sinner." We can fool some of the people some of the time, but the facts are the facts. It's easy to look at broken relationships, unfulfilled commitments, stinky attitudes and think of one another: you're a sinner. It's harder to do the same for ourselves.

But day after day, when I'm honest with myself, I see the sin: brusque words, impatience, thoughtlessness, selfishness. And that's when I'm learning to look for Jesus. A tired child doesn't look for a bed until he's desperate. A sinner doesn't look to Jesus until he's desperate. And my prayer for this year is that I will look to Jesus apart from desperation; that He will remind me and draw me and satisfy me based on the facts: that He who knew no sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Today, as I look into those little faces at rest time and see them rolled up in their blankets on the floor, may my heart echo, "I'm a sinner...who has a great Savior."

Christmas--Live the Moment

2011-12-21T07:07:00.001-06:00

In many ways this is one of the most enjoyable pre-Christmas years ever. I asked the Lord to motivate me to do what needed to be done and leave the rest to Him. Amid stomach flu, colds, allergies, school programs, and the host of holiday activities, God has heard and answered my prayer. I am so thankful! Yesterday as I sat down to read Mark 14:1-11 for the third day in a row (it takes a while to put all the pieces together sometimes), this stood out to me:

v. 1,3: Now the Passover and Unleavened Bread were two days away; and the chief priests and the scribes were seeking how to seize Him by stealth and kill Him…. He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table….

Jesus’ death was two days away--and He knew it (v. 8). He would face betrayal, unjust accusations, the malice and wrath of influential men, strong and powerful men, but here He was, "reclining at the table" with His friend, Simon. He was not hurried or harried. He lived each day, trusting the Father’s will and plan(1 Peter 2:23). He was not concerned with how He should respond along the way. He was not concerned with the pain, difficulty, or how to change the circumstances. He did not worry about the outcome of His death. He lived each moment as the Father gave it. He rested in each moment, each encounter, each circumstance, trusting that God would accomplish His purpose.

Application: How content am I in each moment? Am I able to "recline" and enjoy fellowship with those I love or am I churning and worrying about other things? Jesus left us an example of living life to the full--an abundant life (John 10:10), but how often we forfeit that abundant life for something less. What a beautiful picture of “leaning on the everlasting arms” in each and every circumstance.

May you be blessed in each moment of the Christmas season as you walk in His footsteps, entrusting each moment, each difficulty, each victory to Him.

As the Lord Wills

2011-12-15T07:49:00.000-06:00

I have been looking forward to the next week and half for a long time--few extra obligations or teaching commitments, lots of time for wrapping and sending gifts, Christmas letters, baking. But God had other plans. Hit with the stomach flu, I am hesitant to bake--or even send gifts to family. Do viruses travel through the mail? I was so excited that I forgot to plan, "if the Lord wills."

This morning, sighing that my mother-in-law may not get her homemade biscotti and peppermint bark on time, David reminded me that "God is sovereign" and it will probably get done, just not on my timetable. So for today, perhaps I'll stay in my jammies and let the world do what it will. I, for one, will sit back and wait on the Lord--as one more child sleeps with a bucket next to her head....

The Jesus We Miss at Christmas

2011-12-08T08:37:00.000-06:00

Christmas is full of glitz: the stores, the music, the streets. We all like a little bling, some more than others, but bling is fun. It's festive. It's exciting. It's both reminiscent and new. Over and over, the book of Mark contrasts man's desire for bling with Christ's humility. At His birth he was surrounded by hay and beasts of burden instead of gold and scores of people, angels and shepherds instead of trumpets and processions. And, in Mark chapter eleven, a donkey and commoners in the place of a war horse and royalty.

Passage: Mark 11:1-11

v. 4-7: They went away and found a colt tied at the door, outside in the street; and they untied it. Some of the bystanders were saying to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” They spoke to them just as Jesus had told them, and they gave them permission. They brought the colt to Jesus and put their coats on it; and He sat on it.

Impression: Jesus gave instructions and the disciples were quick to obey. They may not have understood exactly what was about to happen, or they may have been embarrassed by His plan. Why would Jesus make a public spectacle of Himself on an immature draft animal? Jesus’ entry would not be one of pride or self-exaltation but of peace and gentleness. Although He took the form of a man He is unlike natural man; His deity is evident in His humility. In previous passages Jesus esteemed others as equal: scribes, Pharisees, the poor, the rich, even Caesar. He regarded each as equal before God, limited in knowledge and ability. Here and elsewhere, Jesus is lowly. He waits for, but does not demand, the acknowledgement, devotion, and honor of a humble people. The disciples, in their obedience, exercised that same humility.

Application: What is my response to Jesus? Am I quick to respond when He asks me to do menial tasks? Humbling tasks? Embarrassing ones? How do I represent Him? As one demanding respect or as a servant seeking to minister to the needs of others? Am I willing to do what He commands, placing Him in the center, myself lost in the crowd? I must, by His enabling, accept every task and become the servant of all, entrusting Him with the outcome.

How will you trust and obey our humble servant King this Christmas?

Life Among The Who's Who

2011-11-17T06:35:00.001-06:00

No fancy introduction to grab your attention today, just a simple thought from my personal Bible reading that will refresh and refocus my ministry--maybe yours as well.

Mark 9:34-37: But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. ³⁵And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” ³⁶Then He took a little child and set him in the midst of them. And when He had taken him in His arms, He said to them, ³⁷“Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me.”

Impression: The disciples got carried away with their own importance even as Jesus talked about His suffering, death, and resurrection. We could argue that, in church, we don't disagree about who's the greatest. We know it's wrong and we have this example to correct us. But we still do it. Often we tweak it and change it the slightest bit. We won't say "I'm better than you," but in our own words (over and over!) we share, "I'm busier than you." We may not put others down in their presence, but we are quick to compare the importance of what we do and how much time we spend doing it. What would Jesus do? In this case he took a child—who accomplishes no adult task, carries no adult responsibilities, boasts no achievements—and directs His disciples to receive such a one. Ouch. Is that where I put my value? Is that where I invest my energy, time, abilities, and resources? In those who cannot repay, in those who have no worldly value, in those who are often overlooked?

Application: When life becomes more about how busy I am or what I am accomplishing than Who I’m serving, it’s out of balance. It’s not about the what, it’s about the Who. And when Jesus is first, when I know Him, depend on Him, and desire to serve Him, the other who’s of life will fall into place (Matthew 6:33). The what’s of life will happen. The when and the where won’t matter. And the how? With my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, denying myself, taking up my cross and following Him (Hebrews 12:2, Mark 8:34).

Impossible!

2011-11-13T06:50:00.000-06:00

Maybe the time change last week was a breeze for you--in which case I'd argue you're not a toddler or a getting-old person like myself. When the world around us changes we give each other a measure of grace, knowing change takes time. But when it comes to changing ourselves--oy, vey! Others make excuses for us, "they're just like that," and we make excuses for ourselves, "that's just the way I am." Jesus said it differently. He said that as I follow Him, I will leave myself behind, lose my life, only to find it again.

In Mark 8:33-38, Jesus gives timeless insight for change, for the true meaning of life, for how to be transformed.

Verses 34-35 say, " And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.'"

There is nothing more difficult or impossible than giving up one’s desires, wants, and ways. I have found it to be a constant, daily struggle, one that grows with time. When I was younger, I thought it would get easier. I looked at old people, Godly people, "It must be easier for them than it is for me." Ha! It's been many years now and I know it's not true. Habits make choices easier (good and bad), but making new changes is still as difficult, as impossible, as ever. It is a fight to give up myself and depend on God and God alone to work the change.

So what will I do with Jesus' words today? Remind myself not to give up. Coach myself to keep striving toward Godliness. Understand that there is no such thing as too much denial if I walk in sensitivity to the Spirit and choose obedience.

The problem is that too often I push myself, I make denial the center of my choices or cross-bearing my focus. It is then that I find wallow in failure, pitfalls, my own depravity. But that is not what Jesus said. It's not about self-denial, ultimately, it's about following Him. If I my heart is set on Jesus, if my mind is settled on His love, then as I draw close to Him, as my footsteps match His, self will fall by the wayside (James 4:8). Repentance. Forgiveness. Gratitude. Change. And in it all, humble dependence. I will wake up to the reality of becoming more like Him and less like myself. It must be about Jesus. Not me. Not obedience. Not self-flagellation. Not success. Not spiritual awakening. Jesus. Just Jesus. Nothing, no one, but Jesus.

That Box of Chocolates!

2011-11-03T06:01:00.000-05:00

Remember Forest Gump's saying, "Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates...?" It always makes my mouth water--thinking about a box of chocolates, one with all my favorites. Which, perhaps, is why I've put back on some of the forty-plus pounds I shed years ago. If weight is not your struggle, perhaps you have another that takes you around and around the ring, hitting you high and low, in both expected and unexpected places.

As I read Mark earlier this week, I was struck by Jesus comments to two individuals in the same arena. He told one woman, "your faith has made you well," and another, "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." If only that would help me, I thought, bemoaning tighter-than-comfortable clothing. In that same passage (Mark 5:21-43), everything happened "immediately" (v. 29, 30, 42). Grrr....

The next day I read about Jesus returning to his hometown. "He could do no miracle there...and He wondered at their unbelief" (Mark 6:5-6). Belief is key. But how does it work? What does it look like? James says that faith without works is no faith at all (James 2:14-26). So what did Jairus and the woman with the issue of blood do to show their faith in Mark chapter 5?

Jairus went to Jesus. He implored Him earnestly. He stated His faith simply. He waited. He obeyed. The woman fought her way through the crowd. She found Jesus. She reached out and touched His robe. If Jairus had had faith without works, he would have stayed home. If the woman had had faith without works, she would never have made the effort to get to Jesus or touch His robe. Their was choice, motion, action that accompanied their words and desire.

So, in my (perhaps silly) personal example, I realized that I have been asking God to help me gain control over my eating, exercising, and caring for my body, expecting Him to make it happen apart from my effort. I know it is a good thing based on numerous Scripture passages. But until I get up out of the chair, make choices in line with goodness, and step onto the treadmill, I cannot expect God to bring about the results. My faith is as good as dead.

What is it that God desires for you, based on His Word? Will you walk in obedience, putting your faith in action, and trust God with the results? Will we actively seek to do His will, or will He shake His head and wonder at your unbelief, at my unbelief?

Being vs. Doing

2011-10-29T07:22:00.001-05:00

I received this comparison of Super Woman vs. Abiding Woman from my brother, Sam, the other day and have been thinking on it ever since. Perhaps you've seen it and been encouraged. I was in that frame of mind when I sat down to read the book of Mark this morning and saw the phrase about the disciples taking Jesus away from the crowds in a boat "just as He was," before the storm.

Mark 4:35-41.

v. 36-37: Leaving the crowd, [the disciples] took Him along with them in the boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. And there arouse a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up.

Impression: Jesus was. He didn’t act, or put on a show or pull out all the stops. He simply walked and talked and healed and loved because of who He is. It did not keep the storms at bay. It did not keep life from happening around Him. Life, in fact, was full of more difficulties as a result, not less. He was unharried, unhurried, undisturbed; patient, kind, compassionate. It’s Who He is.

Application: By His Spirit, I can respond the same way. I don’t have to do, to accomplish, to perform. I am called to be—to be His workmanship, His vessel, part of His Body—where I am. Even in the storm. The storm will come. People will clamor. Needs will surmount. And I cannot do it all. I am only called to trust and obey, to do my part, as the Lord does His.

Jesus, a Boy, and a Football Game

2011-10-22T08:11:00.000-05:00

The best part of the football game happened outside the fence. Our daughters and I went to the game late and, hoping we wouldn't have to pay but wanting to be prepared, I stuffed paper bills in my pocket. We didn't have enough. I sent the girls ahead and went to an open spot along the chain-link fence.

It wasn't long before a 5th-grader approached. "Did you already start Good News Club?" (Click on the sidebar link to Child Evangelism Fellowship and look up Good News Club for more information.) Soon another boy joined us . "Who's that Jesus guy again?" he asked. I was thrilled. The first child left as the boy and I talked about Jesus. He asked a lot of questions and heard about Jesus, sin, God, hell, and forgiveness. Even though he apologized for being distracted in Good News Club, God had been at work. Before long the paying time expired and I was invited into the stadium. The little fellow was called away by his older brother and I took a seat in the stands.

As I've been reading the book of Mark I've been impressed with people's need and desire for Jesus. They want Him. They follow Him. They surround and press in on Him. From the beginning of the book people bring their friends to Jesus (1:32, 2:3). The lame and ill could not get there themselves, but those who were well intervened. The theme ringing in my head has been, "bring them to Jesus." When I care for our children and help them resolve differences I need to bring them to Jesus. When those around me are hurting or scared I need to bring them to Jesus. As I teach our women's Bible study--regardless of the topic--I need to bring them to Jesus.

In putting words on paper I am convicted of the many times my speech is contrary to His, my desires and motivations get twisted, my goals and mindset give in to distractions. If only I could keep others' need and Jesus' supremacy foremost in my mind, remembering my own great need for Him, then I would be ready to do His work (2 Timothy 4:2, John 6:38-40) . Today, let's bring them to Jesus.

O Be Careful, Little _ What You __

2011-09-29T06:04:00.000-05:00

Ezekiel 44

v. 2,4: The LORD said to me, “This gate shall be shut; it shall not be opened, and no one shall enter by it, for the LORD God of Israel has entered by it; therefore it shall be shut....” Then He brought me by way of the north gate to the front of the house; and I looked, and behold, the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD, and I fell on my face.

Impression: How lightly and casually we regard the LORD God in our thinking, our speaking, our doing. Perhaps the greatest sin—and the one that open the door to so many others—is to think too little of God. We presume upon the body and blood of the Lord Jesus an intimacy of brotherhood. But God is our Father—not our buddy. God remains the awesome, commanding, sovereign Lord of the universe. If we but understood His power, greatness, and wisdom we, too, would tremble and fall. We would be unable to stand and go about our daily business for fear of the LORD GOD.

Application: How might a better understanding of God affect my prayer life? To recognize His awesome might and sovereign control would put my requests and desires in perspective. Would I still ask for the petty things that please me? How would a better knowledge of God affect my actions? If I truly lived out the children’s song, “For the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little _________ how you ________,” what would change? My personal entertainment, my indulgent eating, my relaxed laziness? But I don’t want to. I don’t want to know God because, yes, it would demand change. It would remove the self-indulgence and shackle my desires, my efforts, my time, my resources to God and God alone. But what better place to be? “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” (Psalm 84:10)

God is glorious. God is gracious. God is lovingkindness. God is merciful. God is peace. God is joy. God is the Provider and Protector of His people. Because of Christ’s substitutionary death, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16). But never at the cost of flippancy or contemporary causality. God is. My existence depends on that. Past. Present. Future. He is the I AM. I am a dependent clause. May God allow us to fear Him that we might walk in humble service and gratitude.

There's Not Enough Time

2011-09-22T20:27:00.001-05:00

Melissa and I were bent over picking straw flowers and purple statice in her dusty Wyoming garden when she stood, tears in her eyes, and said, "There's not enough time... He died on Sunday and if he hadn't been at Bible School the week before," her voice dropped off. A little previously unknown fellow had visited their Vacation Bible School and trusted Jesus as his Savior. That next weekend he and his family were instantly killed in a vehicle accident.

At this time of year when life is swirling and it doesn't seem everything that needs to be done will get done, I remember Melissa's dark brown eyes and the tears running down her freckled cheeks. "There's not enough time to reach them all."

May we never lose the urgency of loving and serving, reaching others with the good news of Jesus' substitutionary death, trusting that He will sovereignly direct our steps.

Satisfaction!

2011-09-20T06:18:00.001-05:00

I had a moment of realization the other day that the Bible reading and meditating I did more than a month ago is finally bearing fruit. I often have the expectation that my daily reading will affect that day--that what I read in God's Word today is my daily bread, and tomorrow God will provide another day's worth of bread, etc. But as I sat in Sunday school this week I realized that I am not "wanting what I want" like I did earlier this summer. Hurray! Yay, God!

I distinctly remember sitting in the coffee shop at church camp last month, early in the morning, and praying over Proverbs 13:25, "The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, But the stomach of the wicked is in need." My question that day, and the remainder of the week was, "Am I choosing to be satisfied?" God has given me all I need. He is my Shepherd and I am not in want (Psalm 23:1). So am I living as one who is satisfied?

Now as our women's Bible study groups are beginning the book of James, I can see the discontent. The twelve tribes James is writing to: don't like trials (James 1:2-4; 5:10-11), they don't have enough money (1:9-10, 4:13-14, 5:1-6), they aren't getting what they want (1:13-16, 4:1-5, 11-12; 5:9), they want more (2:3-4, 3:14-16, 4:2-3, 13-16; 5:1-5), and their selfishness results in hurtful words, actions, and attitudes (1:20-21, 26; 2:1-7, 13; 3:2-12, 14-16; 4:1-4, 11-12, 16; 5:1-6, 9, 12). James is calling them to obedience.

Contentment comes through obedience. When I get busy doing what God has called me to do, I don't have time or interest for other things. It is a call to refocus, not on what I don't have, but on the many things I do have. It is a call to put Christ first, to trust Him with my wants and needs, and to serve others over and above myself. After all, "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32).

James is a book of action, but more than that, it is a book that calls us to a choice: am I satisfied, truly satisfied, with Jesus? Does life reflect greed or gratitude?

Pick on Me!

2011-09-16T08:25:00.000-05:00

One of my greatest struggles is wanting to be known. I can tell myself I'm not the center of the universe, but on some level I want to be recognized, acknowledged, appreciated, thought of. We all do. It's a God thing. The sin in me seeks recognition and acknowledgement from other people through means that are self-centered, stealing the reputation of others, creating envy and strife. The Christ centered part of me knows that God gave His all to recognize and save me. That is more than enough. It is a characteristic of God--a part of being made in His image--to be known.

The book of Ezekiel is all about God revealing Himself to mankind. The phrase, "Then they will know that I am the LORD," is used 65 times. In Ezekiel 35:11, He says, “therefore as I live... I will deal with you according to your anger and according to your envy which you showed because of your hatred... so I will make Myself known among them when I judge you.”

God makes Himself known in judgment as well as prosperity. He meets out punishment in accordance with our sin and rebellion. We deserve nothing more than just recompense for our actions, thoughts, words, and choices. Our good does not outweigh our bad. Good is not equal to bad. Good is expected. Good is required. Perfect goodness is the baseline (James 2:10-13). So, in reality, I deserve God's punishment regardless of any good work of my own--I can't make the cut. But He Himself paid the penalty of my sin. Amazing! Only God could do that--or would do that.

Have I seen or sought Him in difficulty? Have I acknowledged His hand in blessings, in pleasant experiences and prosperity? Either way His desire and goal is to make Himself known. If I fail to look to Him, depend on Him, seek, worship and acknowledge Him in the good, He will reveal Himself in other ways. That is the focus, the goal, the treasure: God and God alone.

Am I looking, listening, acknowledging His supremacy today? There will be a day when "every knee will bow of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:10-11). May that day be today in my life....

I've Got Your Back!

2011-09-14T09:32:00.005-05:00

"I've got your back!" I love it! It's what we say to each other whether we're a parent of teenagers (I know) or a law enforcement officer (I'm glad I don't know). I joke with my son's best friend about eating his vegetables then whisper to his mom, "I've got your back!"

In Ezekiel chapter 33 God gives Ezekiel charge of Israel's back as a watchman.  He has the responsibility of warning the people of coming judgment. If he does his job, the people will bear the weight of their choices. If he fails to warn them then he, personally, will bear the guilt of their demise.

To personalize this and put myself in the place of Ezekiel is frightening. It is a call to personal responsiblity for national failure. But this was written to Ezekiel--for my learning (Romans 15:4)--but to Ezekiel for the direct benefit of Israel. How does it relate to me?

You may or may not argue that each of us, personally,  bears the weight of our nation's sin. Either way God's warning should be taken seriously. The New Testament gives us further motivation to speak truth:  "God...reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. " 2 Corinthians 5:18-20

God has blessed me in incredible, eternal,  bountiful ways through the sacrificial life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Now, with a heart of love and gratitude, I have the privilege of calling others, not to judgment, but to that same life-giving Source! What a privilege! What a goal! What a passion! I know that I am free from judgment and condemnation (Romans 8:1-3), I have eternal life--now (John 6:47), I live with an eternal perspective and purpose (2 Corinthians 4:16-5:10). To know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings compels me to share Him with others (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

Whose back do I have? I know Jesus has mine!

Focus Regained

2011-09-03T08:13:00.000-05:00

It happened. I allowed myself to become too busy and now I'm regretting it. I lost sight of the reality of life and gave in to the demands of life. They were all necessary things, but they overwhelmed the one good thing--my daily time with God. Sick children, prior commitments, pricks at pride that persuaded me to take on just one more task. Poof! My morning time started with running feet instead of bended knee.

Last night as I tossed after my own bout with stomach flu I took comfort in hearing Scripture and here I am, again, to lean on and discover the fear of the Lord. It is not an immediate find, nor a once-a-day pill. It is not a task to check off my to-do list or to write on the calendar. It is a searching, seeking, consuming, integral mindset that guides my life and determines my choices. It is an awareness of the cross, of my dying Savior, of my living Lord, of my constant need and wretchedness. The fear of the Lord is a humility of thinking, of speaking, of waiting, of living that pushes aside the razzle-dazzle and walks in faith, one step at a time. It does not depend on the future or the finances or the forecast, but on the being in the here and now as I am conformed to the image of the Son, Jesus Christ. This is the fear of Lord.

Back to the Book....

The Privilege of Prayer

2011-08-12T17:50:00.003-05:00

Ahhh, a day to clean house. When our children were small we spent a lot of time at home. Now that they're older summer has a different pace. Today was an unusually quiet day at home. No bags to pack. No children to send off. No laundry to chase. Instead I found joy in cleaning bathrooms and floors--and I'm not being sarcastic! It's lovely to see the smile of shiny floors and hear the squeak of clean shower stalls.

It's hard to listen to music, however, while vacuuming. So against the dull roar God brought individuals to mind: a Muslim couple and their premature baby, a young cellist seeking a job, a young man at BYU for the first time, a reunited military family, the list rolled on. As I prayed for each, for God's personal work and revelation in their lives, the sun seemed to open on the beauty of prayer. I have no way of knowing how each of them is right now. And they have no idea who is praying--or that anyone in particular is praying--just for them. But as God answers prayer and speaks into their lives, gratitude is lifted to Him and Him alone. It's not my prayers or my concern or my interest in their lives that makes a difference; it's God Himself. What a joy to be anonymous in prayer!

It was then that my mind turned to God's provision in my own life and how thankful I am for the anonymous voices that have echoed God's work. What a great God--to prompt and empower His people to serve Him through the simplicity of entrusting others to His care!

"For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins" (Colossians 1:9-14, NKJV).

Give it Up

2011-07-23T09:02:00.000-05:00

I didn't want to read my Bible today. After the last couple of days it felt like no matter what I read, it would spell failure for the day. Two days ago I meditated on Proverbs 8:13 about how the fear of God is hatred of perverse speech. All day my thoughts were full of critical, judgemental thoughts that I struggled to harness. I thought Proverbs was about hating the twisted words of others--but, no, I found them in myself. Yesterday I meditated on Ezekiel 12 and God reminded me that difficult circumstances are there to drive me to Him. Wouldn't you know that the circumstances nearly overcame me? I found myself grumbling and justifying my grumpiness while listening to a gravelly Star Wars voice echo, "The flesh is strong with this one."

How would I fail today? Only God knows, but I knew my options were limitless. As my husband, David, and I read Jeremiah together I was reminded that God doesn't want fancy-schmancy sacrifices (Jeremiah 8:20). He simply calls me to do it His way--to depend on Him, to walk in the death and resurrection of Jesus instead of my own strength. Today's motto: give it up. Whatever I'm holding onto to make myself good, better, or righteous. I don't need it. It won't work. I only need Him. So, those critical thoughts? Give em up. It's not my job to "fix" others. My reaction to difficult circumstances? Give it up. It's not my job to "fix" the circumstances.

Are you ready to give it up? Or are you afraid to read your Bible too?

When All Else Fails

2011-07-22T06:53:00.000-05:00

It's raining. Yesterday and the day before and the day before the heat index was unbearable. Most days it would be an inconvenience. Today it's creating a near nail-biting reaction. We're headed into the last day of Vacation Bible School--ALL day vacation Bible school--with a class full of children who won't be able to go outside. We'll have game time... inside. We'll have recess... inside. We'll eat lunch inside...again.
I am so thankful for this reminder from God's Word. The plight of the people in Israel's day is far, very far, from what I will experience in VBS today (I hope!), but God remains the same.

“So they will know that I am the LORD when I scatter them among the nations and spread them among the countries. But I will spare a few of them from the sword, the famine and the pestilence that they may tell all their abominations among the nations where they go, and may know that I am the LORD.” (Ezekiel 12:15-16)

Whether they are scattered or spared, God desired that they come to know and fear Him and His awesome power. The circumstances were nothing more than a vehicle to carry them from thoughts of themselves to thoughts of Him. When the circumstances get too big, there’s a point at which I have to look for help outside my own efforts and resources.

So? Will I allow God to use the circumstances of today to turn me away from my own efforts and resources and back to dependence on Him? On my own, in my strength and “wisdom,” I can do nothing—there will be no real eternal fruit from my labor, I will not be transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ, the effects of the day will be worthless. But as I allow Him to fill and use me He will, and can, do great things.

Ahhhh, I'm so thankful that God's desire is that we would know Him and serve Him in His strength, not that we would conquer or win or accomplish or do. I pray that His faithfulness will carry you through whatever lies in store for you today as well.

Multi Media

2011-07-01T08:32:00.001-05:00

Have you ever pictured something in your mind only to find it's very different in real life? I've had that experience a couple of times lately and it's turned into a rather deep realization. You may be shocked at how shallow I am, but here goes....

I read True Grit* this summer while our daughter took swimming lessons. One of the young lifeguards noticed and said, "Whoa! That was a seriously deep movie." "Really?" I asked, about twenty pages in, "I think it's hilarious!" I finished the book complete with oohs, aahs, holding my breath in some places and sighing in others. It was a great book with surprisingly bang-on theology. Then I watched the movie and was left with bittersweet angst.

The difference was that reading drew me into the mind of the narrator, watching revealed the entirety of the situation. When I read I took the place of the storyteller. I saw what she saw and felt what she felt. I reasoned from her point of view. But to see the protagonist's innocence and vulnerability as an outsider gave the story depth I had missed while reading.

The same has been true as I've started listening to the Word of Promise regularly. In my desire to become better acquainted with the book of Proverbs I downloaded it to my MP3 player. Yesterday I added the book of Ezekiel. Hearing the words and voices gives the text deeper meaning. Things stand out and make sense like they didn't before. To experience God's Word with my mouth, ears and eyes adds meaning. Then, by His Spirit, God extends it to my mind and hands and feet.

In the days of the Old and New Testament, Scripture was always read aloud in large chunks unlike most of our worship services and fellowships today. Be challenged to read and listen aloud as well as quietly. Open your ears (literally) to what God has to say. You'll be blessed! (1 Timothy 4:13, Revelation 1:3).

*Disclaimer--True Grit has descriptive Western violence and language. It's not a children's book (although it's written from a 14-year-old's point of view), nor is it fluffy. It's not a nice, clean story, but it's an excellent one.

More of Jesus

2011-06-24T08:06:00.001-05:00

John 20:1-18

v. 1-2, 10-11: Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone already taken away from the tomb. So she ran… the disciples went away again to their own homes. But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping….

Impression: Mary went early—while it was still dark—to see Jesus. He wasn’t there. She ran and told the disciples. Two of them went back with her. The men saw the empty tomb, entered and believed (v.8) then went home (v. 10). But Mary stayed and looked and waited and cried and wondered. She was attended by angels, but could not be comforted. Finally the Lord appeared to her, rewarding her perseverance. She saw Him. She rejoiced in Him. He gave her a command and she obeyed.

She did not come to Jesus’ tomb for any reason but love and devotion. Even in death, she wanted to serve and be near Him. She had no expectation apart from seeing His body and ministering to it. But He was not there. When she could not find Him, she searched and wept and could not be comforted—even by angels! I have never searched to that degree nor have I seen angels. I cannot imagine the wonder it must have been, but she was not content. She wanted Jesus. Only Jesus. When He made Himself known, she was overwhelmed with joy. Her joy gave way to immediate, enthusiastic obedience (v. 17-18).

Application: Wow. How diligently do I seek Jesus? Do I get complacent knowing He is always with me (Mt. 28:20) and fail to seek Him out? Am I content with lesser things—hearing His Word in the background, listening to Christian music or speakers, looking at piles of books that disseminate knowledge about Him? How often does my world halt so I can look intently for Jesus? Only Jesus. How often do I seek Him in worship—for no reason other than His Person? How much of my day is spent in rapt wonder at His love for me?

This is the root of my disobedience—a disbelief in who He is. When I fail to walk in the reality of His love and the wonder of who He is, I fail to be empowered to do His will. My disbelief is evident in my selfishness, self-indulgence, self-sufficiency, self-focus. How He desires to change me and fill my life with Jesusness, Jesus-indulgence, Jesus-sufficiency, Jesus-focus!

It’s time to fall on my knees worship. Now. Before the day begins.

Ideas Anyone? (Help with Proverbs)

2011-06-21T06:15:00.002-05:00

I'm continuing my study into Proverbs and had a great idea during Sunday's sermon (which, by the way, was from Proverbs!). One of the women who attends our weekly Bible studies brought in the book of Romans this last year to show us what she had learned in her personal study. She had printed each chapter of the book on one page in a column. She did a word study of each chapter, color-coding significant words. Then, she taped all the pages together sideways and began drawing arrows and connecting ideas and words. Her key word for Romans? Righteousness. The next day she was reading in Jeremiah and came across the words, "God...my righteousness." It was a beautiful example of how God teaches us the riches of His Word as we seek Him.

So--I'm writing today to ask for ideas as I look into the book Proverbs to begin sticking it in my head. I am in the process of printing out the chapters. My question is--do I color-code specific words ("wise," "foolish," etc.) or do I color-code topics, ("speech," "marriage," etc.)? Perhaps I need to do it more than once....

If I do a topical study, what topics do you see in the book of Proverbs? These are the topics that come easily to my mind, I am looking for more: speech, marriage, parenting, work. I begin looking through the book and get overwhelmed. Thanks for participating with me!

In All Your Ways Acknowledge Him

2011-06-21T06:14:00.000-05:00

John 19:1-30
v. 19, 21-22: Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It was written, “JESUS THE NAZARENE, THE KING OF THE JEWS.” So the chief priests of the Jews were saying to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews’; but that He said, ‘I am King of the Jews.’” Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.”

Impression: How easy it is to accede that Jesus is King without actually acknowledging Jesus is King. Pilate did. The chief priests did (they “slipped” and misread the sign—“THE King,” in their own words). They could speak it with their lips, or write it on a sign, or put Jesus’ name before others, but they refused to bow the knee to His authority and lordship.

Application: Again, again, again—how often I fail to acknowledge God in my daily life. It is easy to quote Proverbs 3:5-6, but to acknowledge God with obedience in the decisions of life is a very different thing. Most of the time I am simply unaware that I am making a choice and I fail to consider its eternal effects. Some of the time I am aware that I am making a choice and follow my own natural tendencies. A few times each day I realize I am about to make a choice that requires a different response, but I choose my own way anyway. “Oh wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”

Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin (Rom. 7:24-25).

Ugh.

Lord, please empower the servitude of my mind to overcome the servitude of my flesh. Fill my mind with the goodness of Your Word—of Your Spirit, of Your Person—that I might overcome the pull and guerilla tactics of my sinful self. Help me to hate my selfish tendencies with the passion they deserve. Help me to fight myself relentlessly, diligently, whole-heartedly. Help me to give myself wholly to Your ways, Your power, and Your work.

Slow and Steady

2011-06-17T07:31:00.001-05:00

With summer here, I have more time for more personal Bible study (as versus ministry-driven Bible study*) and my goal is to learn the book of Proverbs!

The last couple of years I have been challenged by speakers who easily and firmly quote specific Proverbs for specific situations. This week I contacted one of the speakers and asked for her "secret recipe." Surprise, surprise--it isn't fast and easy. She recommended reading daily from Proverbs, taking notes, and making flash cards. This is what I learned today:

Proverbs 1:8-19
v. 16: For their feet run to evil and they hasten to shed blood.

Impression: The life of the Christian is a “walk” with the Spirit. The Holy Spirit does not run. But an evil intent comes with running and hastening.

Application: When I am tempted to pick up the pace and move faster into a situation, I need to keep my head up and be very aware of 1) my companions and 2) the destination. There is a good chance they are headed for evil and wreckage.

I tend toward either being stationary or moving too quickly. To keep a steady walking pace with God is difficult (Galatians 5:16, 24-26), so it is easy to run and hasten toward evil. Once I am running, it is more difficult to change direction as God does without crashing into an obstacle or backing up and turning around in shame. As wise Aesop once said, “slow and steady wins the race.”

May I slow down and "take His yoke upon me", walking side-by-side, knowing that He will work out His obedience and abundant joy in my life.

* God has provided 14 different women to lead our weekly women's Bible study this summer! Our summer study is entitled, "A Talk in the Park" and has eight free week-by-week studies designed for sporadic summer schedules. If you would like information for yourself or your church, comment or send an email to semillage@lcom.net . There are currently three topics available: Assurance, The book of Luke, and Spiritual Disciplines.

A Tight Connection

2011-06-07T08:12:00.000-05:00

John 15

v. 4-6 “Abide in Me, and I in you. As he branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless I abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.”

Impression: Jesus is talking about HIMSELF as the vine—and the removal of branches (individuals) from Himself. Some have extrapolated this to see US as the vine and the things we do/invest in as the branches God removes or uses to produce fruit. That’s not what Jesus said. Sooo-according to Jesus, 1) we are the branches, 2) we must remain connected to the vine to retain any usefulness, and 3) the fruit that results is a direct result of God-connectedness (the fruit of the Spirit? Galatians 5:22-23).

Application:  My greatest (dare I say only?) concern as a believer is to stay connected to—to abide in—Jesus.  Or, as James says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (4:8).  As I make His Word a priority, rely on Him moment by moment, day by day, with my hands and heart open, He will do His work in and through me.  It’s not my job to “make” Godliness happen.  It’s God’s (Eph. 5:26, 1 Thess. 5:23, Heb. 13:12).

On the other hand, if I close the door to my heart or demand my own outcome the fruit subsides.  A lack of love, a lack of joy or peace in my life means there’s a kink in the hose of connectedness.  Am I impatient, brash, thinking evil thoughts?  It’s time to check the conduit for a hairball of sin.  Do I struggle with being faithful, or gentle or self-controlled?  To what or to whom am I connected?  Where am I placing my dependence?  Probably in myself.  How quaint.  Not. But,

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
There's just something about that name
Master, Savior, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the rain
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim
Kings and kingdoms
Will all pass away
But there's something about that Name.
(Gloria Gaither)

Glorification Today!

2011-06-01T08:22:00.000-05:00

Summer vacation is here--along with many new opportunities to indulge (did you hear the words, "ice cream" and "sleep in?"). I'm so thankful for God's Word, that His mercies are new every morning. This is where I'm at today.
John 13:21-38

v. 31-32: Therefore when he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him; if God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately.”

Impression: Jesus the Son and God the Father were glorified in the crucifixion. It doesn’t fit with our idea of being glorified. It didn’t fit the disciples’ idea, either. But God is God. If He glorified Jesus in His death and was magnified by it, He continues to be magnified. What do I know about God that makes sense of this? God is glorified when I depend on Him and when I choose to obey Him instead of self, just like Jesus did. Jesus obeyed to the point of death, physical death. The death I am called to is so much less. Every decision I make that is reliant on Him and places His decrees above my own desires glorifies Him. (Ps. 37:4-6, 7, 23-26).

Application: Whom will I choose to glorify today? Even the smallest decisions and tasks are opportunities to glorify God. How will I choose to put God ahead of myself? If I set my mind to think ahead and choose God instead of self….but, oooh, it is so hard in that moment! I need a Scripture verse for inertia. So perhaps even as I come to a trying decision to say, “Now is the Son of Man glorified....” If I can’t say it and mean it, it’s a “me” decision not a “Jesus” decision. If God will work change in me today, just today, I’ll tackle tomorrow when it comes…

To Serve as Jesus Served

2011-05-31T07:07:00.000-05:00

Summer vacation is here and our four children are home from school. It's 7:00 a.m., the day after Memorial Day, and two of our girls just came in from sleeping outside in hammocks. One is overly tired, the other is disagreeable (one and the same?). Perhaps you, like me, find it easy to serve some at some times and difficult to serve others at other times. Thankfully, this is the passage I read this morning:

John 13:1-20

v. 2-4: During supper, the devil having already put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself.

Impression: Jesus’ service to the disciples was not dependent on who they were or how they would respond to His service. His blessing of them was dependent on His security in the Father. Because God sovereignly orchestrates all circumstances, and because Jesus fully trusted the Father’s outcome, He let go of Himself and gave to others. There was no clinging to pretense or reputation or pride, there was only a complete surrender that loved others with the love of the Father.

Application: It is only when I am content with God, satisfied with His provision, and trusting in His care that I can love others selflessly. When I am insecure I cling tenaciously to that which is mine. When I trust God, I let go of the reigns and love others with abandon. My love for others is a measure of the center of my life. Humble, selfless service result from a loving knowledge of and trust in God. Tight-fisted giving with pre-determined boundaries results from insecurity and self-love. What do my attitudes and actions reveal?

Everywhere We Go-oh, People Want to Know-ow

2011-05-24T08:30:00.000-05:00

How can I think things in my head, even agree that they're good (during the sermon!), but have such a hard time doing it? Sigh. The human condition. I can easily share on paper what I read today, but if you see me in person, you have permission to hold me accountable for this one because it's going to take a lot of practice!

John 11:1-54

v. 41-42: So they removed the stone. Then Jesus raised His eyes, and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me.”

Impression: It was important for people to know that Jesus wasn’t empowered by Himself, because of who He is—even though He is God. He wanted others to know, unquestionably, that His power and ability came from the Father. He stated it over and over.

Application: If it was that important for Jesus to rely on God and communicate that reliance to others, how obvious is it that I should do the same? As a simple, finite, fickle person I have a need, a desperate emptiness, that can only be met by God. To act and live and speak as if I do what I do in my own strength and wisdom is foolish. There is no way any of us lives, or breathes, or plans, apart from the grace of God. But to live in reliance—to be aware of our reliance and to speak it--is very different. My pride fights it. My arrogance and desire for self-reliance fight it. That is one of the ways Jesus and I are so different. He was God, but in humility, He transferred all honor and power to its true source, His Father. With His help, and by His Spirit, may I learn to do the same…

My Shepherd

2011-05-20T06:33:00.000-05:00

As I looked out from the kitchen window yesterday, I watched a lamb, half-grown by now, wander up the hill, it's coat smeared with mud and filth diluted by rain. Our sheep trail through the pasture keeping their own schedule of grazing, masticating, and resting--accompanied by a lone Holstein, his black and white contrast visible above the fresh green grass. Years of working with and enjoying them make passages like this both personal and meaningful:

John 10:1-21
v. 14-15: I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.

Impression: My relationship with Jesus and the Father is based on His care for me and the giving of His life for me, the sheep. The dumb, unworthy, filthy, wretched little sheep. Why would a shepherd die for a sheep? Sheep are many. They can easily be replaced. They are quite useless to the shepherd—they do not protect him or serve him or do things to make his job easier. They are simply His charge, they are at His mercy. They are cared for because of the affection of the shepherd or a charge given. Nor more, no less.

Application: What a great God! To love and care and bless and lead us apart from benefit to Himself; in spite of our tendency to wander, to get lost, and hurt, and dirty, and into trouble. There is no justification for His saving grace apart from Himself—His love and mercy. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want….

Learning Humility I

2011-04-16T06:42:00.001-05:00

"From the moment I awake, I've learned to make statements to God about my dependence upon God, and in this way I'm humbling myself before God." So writes C.J. Mahaney in his book, Humility: True Greatness (p. 69). The focus, the constant focus, is the cross of Christ. The death of Christ on my behalf. "Far from offering us flattery, the cross undermines our self-righteousness, and we can stand before it only with a bowed head and a broken spirit." (John Stott, The Cross of Christ, p.12)

So, as I'm exercising practical steps toward humility this morning, I invite you to join me in acknowledging your need of God, and only God. Are you wholly, humbly in need? I have a hard time getting to that place in the lap of so many good things, but I must.

In coming to the book of Leviticus this morning I am asking: God, make me your under-rower today. Make me the one under the ship who puts his whole back into it, pleasing the Master, unconcerned about the direction, trusting You with the goal. Give me the heart of one who serves because I am served; one who loves, because I am loved; one who gives freely because I freely receive. Change me until the only part of me that exists is You."

But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14

Putting the Extra into Ordinary

2011-04-06T08:52:00.000-05:00

Simon Estes is singing in my kitchen as I write! Yesterday Grace turned on the CD player and it about blasted her out of the room. "Mom! Were you rockin' out in the kitchen?"
"No, I just cranked up Mr. Estes so he could help me do housework."

Mr. Estes came to our high school last Friday and Saturday. Our older children had the opportunity to listen to and interact with him at an all-school assembly Friday afternoon. Saturday night Matthew sang in the choir as Mr. Estes joined us and I had the privilege of accompanying them. Now, as I listen to his album of spirituals, I continue to be touched by messages of equality, angst, Providence and hope. We were also blessed by his guest, Chris Johnson, who chose selections that took any focus off himself and emphasized the goodness of God.

God has groomed Simon Estes to be a man of gentleness, deep reverence, humility and uncanny excellence. All credit and appreciation for his gifts are redirected to God, the Giver of all good things. I cannot put into words the fullness of participating alongside him, receiving his thanks, and bowing hand-in-hand to the appreciation of the audience.

David Roper, in his book, A Man to Match the Mountain, describes Jesus as a beautiful man full of grace and truth. "Everything he did was truthful, and yet He was unfailingly gracious." Simon Estes represented Christ in this same way. May we remember that, "True goodness is not doing extraordinary things. It is doing ordinary things in an extraordinary way." (Roper, Seeing God, p. 129). Most of us will never have a platform like Simon Estes, but our daily lives can reflect the grace and truth of God in the integrity of our decisions. It is not what is seen that makes a man, but what is unseen.

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have not reward from your Father in heaven." (Matthew 6:1)

Rest

2011-04-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

After checking in on Tara Barthel's blog, Considerable Grace, I am ashamed of not being more faithful and diligent here. Thanks, Tara, the the inspiration!

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours writing to an inmate about his desire to be baptized. The question he had was whether or not baptism is necessary for salvation. It is a great question that led me to write more than the usual one-page letter.* As Scripture came to mind, I was reminded of what an amazing God we serve. There is nothing we, as faulted humans, can do to merit God's favor.

Titus says this, "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." Titus 3:4-7

While reading the Psalms, I became aware of the disparity between what God does and what He calls us to do. So, even in the passage from Titus, I have started to mark my Bible differentiating what God does and what He has called me to do. Surprisingly, there is very little for me to contribute. To rewrite the above passage with that emphasis would look like this:

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."

In that passage, there is nothing we contribute. Our calling, then, is to humble ourselves and push our own agenda aside in light of God's grace. F.B. Meyer said it this way, "We must remember to maintain within our hearts the spirit of Sabbath calm and peace, not fussy, not anxious, nor fretful nor impetuous; refraining our feet from own paths, our hand from our own devices, refusing to make our own joy and do our own works. It is only when we are fully resolved to act thus, allowing God to originate His own plans and to work in us for their accomplishment that we enter into rest."

David Roper adds to this, "What keeps us from entering into God's rest? Unbelief. Underlying all our worry and compulsive self-effort is the thought that God cannot or will not come through." (Seeing God, p.111)

Even if it's not Sunday, are you enjoying the Sabbath rest God promises His people? Are you resting in God's work in and through you? Or are you striving to work for Him, to accomplish self-imposed demands and goals? May God bless you with complete, full days as He extends Himself through you to your immediate family, to His Body, and those who are lost, watching and waiting.

*If you have a burden for inmates who desire to know God, investigate Crossroads Bible Institute and how to become an instructor.

Ready...and...Action!

2011-03-12T06:42:00.000-06:00

We've been blessed to have the same pastor for almost ten years. One of the things I appreciate about the way he works with the Body is his attitude toward new ministries. Shortly after he came, a friend complained that we didn't have specific ministry to meet her perceived needs. I mentioned it to our pastor who replied, "When someone has a vision and a burden for that ministry, that is God's provision for the need." He wasn't going to run around the congregation tapping people on the shoulder to start something just because of a complaint or a great idea.

I found a similar biblical principle for ministry as I read Leviticus chapters nine and ten this week.

Passage: Leviticus 9-10:14

Specific Verses: 9:1, 7: Now it came about on the eighth day that Moses called Aaron and his sons and the elders of Israel.... Moses then said to Aaron, “Come near to the altar and offer your sin offering and your burnt offering, that you may make atonement for yourself and for the people; then make the offering for the people, that you may make atonement for them just as the LORD has commanded.”

There was a process, a time period, a set of procedures for Aaron and his sons to follow before they were able and ready to intercede on behalf of the people. It didn’t just happen. God had a specific set of instructions and an intentional process. Moses modeled it "just as the LORD commanded."  They weren't given an instruction manual and told to show up first thing in the morning. They were given instructions that would take them through the very same process as the people they would minister to. They could not provide sanctification for the people until they themselves had been cleansed. This is the same principle Jesus taught when he instructed us to remove the log from our own eye before attending to the speck of another (Matthew 5).

Interestingly, the two oldest sons were so impressed with God's display of power that they tried to manipulate God. God's work in our lives can be humbly accepted and acknowledged for what it is, or twisted to fit our prideful perception. In the hands of God it is awesome to behold, in the hands of man it is fatal. God struck them dead—He will not be played with.

Perhaps you have had that same experience. God has prepared and walked you through difficulty and shown Himself mighty. Don't be surprised then when He asks you to extend that same service as a ministry to others. God prepares and uses His people in their own circumstances before using them.  He sanctifies them, walks them through, and sets the expectations before allowing them to take positions of leadership that influence others. If you have outstanding areas of sin or rebellion in your own life, don't expect God to use you to in meeting the needs of others. He must have access to your heart before He gives you access to the hearts of others.

What's the take-away? If I look critically at the circumstances in my life and respond with humility and obedience, I will be prepared for God to use my experience at a later time. With eyes on Him and a heart stayed with fear of His power and confidence in His unwavering love, I can walk through the valley with purpose. No ministry or outreach is necessary apart from the work of God.  But God is faithful.  He provides for the needs of His people--and always at just the right time.

Back Snap

2011-02-28T10:09:00.002-06:00

Although this is generally a blog about Christian service, I am writing about yesterday's rather revealing life experience to encourage my own humility, compassion, and empathy for future reference. As I was getting ready for church, putting on pantyhose no less, my hands seized and I felt a pop just below my right shoulder blade. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't call for help. There I sat, immobilized, in excruciating pain. When the worst had passed I managed, with effort, to get to my feet and make my way downstairs, sending the family off to church.

Most of my day was spent enduring spasms while lying on heat and ice. The rest of my body was pain-free, but I couldn't get my focus off the sporadic schisms that stabbed from my back through to my sternum, creating some kind of muscular knot. I did wonder if the Body of Christ should respond to a wounded member with this kind of extreme focus, but more than that, I wanted relief.

Later, much later, I remembered last week's Bible lesson on suffering and was mindful that in discomfort I really didn't care--or want to care--what God had in mind for that moment. Hadn't we read Scripture and discussed how God allows suffering for His glory and our good? That we are to endure and bear up under it, dependent on His grace, exhibiting the character of Christ (Hebrews 12:1-3, 1 Peter 2)? Quite honestly, that was the last thing on my mind.

The take-away? No matter how much we know or how much God has taught us to rely on Him, each of us is one hundred percent human. There are periods and circumstances when all we can do it hold onto some form of life and sanity, praying for light at the end of the tunnel. My pain became bearable within a short period of time, but there are others--many others--who suffer chronic illness, pain, family situations, and life circumstances that cloud all but the most immediate. It was a brief lesson in empathy...and I'm chronicling it here in hopes it will not soon be forgotten.

Keep Something Behind the Counter

2011-02-23T14:42:00.000-06:00

I hadn't planned on it. I just happened. When I opened my Bible to read the next chapter of Leviticus, my eyes caught on the previous chapter and something clicked. There are times that a verse taken by itself is exposed. Don't get me wrong, context is vital to Biblical interpretation, but to see a verse alone sometimes reveals detail that might otherwise be overlooked.

I have often wondered about term "leaven" as used in the Bible: the leaven of the Pharisees, leaven in the dough, how dangerous a small amount of leaven can be. I have had no satisfying answer until today as I sat down to read chapter 3 and my eyes reread verse 11 from chapter 2.

"No grain offering, which you bring to the LORD, shall be made with leaven, for you shall not offer up in smoke any leaven or any honey as an offering by fire to the LORD."

It suddenly struck me. Leaven gives a false appearance. It puffs up and expands the essence of what is there, making it look larger. It adds an airy texture when eaten. And, in the same way yeast, or leaven, would mislead honey adds sweetness making grain more appealing, more tasty, more indulgent. It's not that God doesn't like things big or sweet or good. He made all things. He IS big and sweet and good. But when it comes from me, a person, a created being, the focus is due God, not myself. How easy it is for me to puff myself up, to try to appear bigger and sweeter and more attractive to others (sacrifices were offered in public, remember) and to God.

The leaven of life is pride. A little goes a long way. I apply it when I seek to draw attention to my actions or appearance or worth, puffing up what little I have, expanding the essence of what is actually there. I present myself as having greater importance and substance than what an honest appraisal would reveal. The honey is much the same, although it makes me think more of flattery, of sweetening the deal. I may be sour as a lemon, bitter as lye, but present myself to God and others in a falsely appealing way.

So for now, today? The offering of my everyday life, the grain that comes in and goes out, must first be finely ground, well masticated, used fully. It is what it is. I am what I am. There is nothing special, better than, or exceptional other than the fact that God has sovereignly ordained each part. Humility, a lack of leaven, is practiced as I present what He has given with gratitude and honesty.

Chuck Swindoll's grandfather taught him to "always keep something behind the counter." This doesn't mean we should hold back what is due; rather, we should be honest about what is in the back room. If I don't have any for sale, I shouldn't put it out for display. May I say the same is true of our Christian lives. Speaking to myself: If I don't have any in the backroom, it has no place on the counter.

Consecrating the Daily Grind

2011-02-21T06:05:00.000-06:00

Back to Leviticus! (It doesn't have quite the ring of the "Back to Genesis" ads on the radio.)

As I opened my Bible to Leviticus chapter 2 this morning, I prepared myself for the fact that not every day's Bible reading brings eye-popping, heart-stopping insights. But God surprised me once again.

This chapter gave instruction for the presentation of grain offerings. Living with a farmer, grain is a daily part of our lives. We have bins of grain from last fall's harvest that are waiting to be delivered to market. We have grain in the barn we are feeding our expectant ewes and growing calf. Our son has a jar of wheatberries (grains of wheat) on his headboard to snack on when he's in the mood. I didn't expect to see anything exciting in this chapter on grain.

But as I read, this is what I discovered:
There were three constant ingredients offered with the grain. The first was oil (v. 1,2,4,5,6,7,15,16). The second was salt (v. 13). The third, less noticeable (it is mentioned only once, but in reference to all grain sacrifices) was frankincense (v. 1). Grain was the gift, but it was to be anointed with oil and frankincense and seasoned with salt.

Putting my symbolic-and-contextual-interpretation hat on, it was easy to explain the oil. Throughout the Bible, oil is symbolic of the Holy Spirit—in the anointing of kings, in the temple. The working and presence of the Holy Spirit should be evident in my giving. The salt? My only thought here is the verse that instructs us to season our words with grace (Col. 4:6). So salt represents grace (?). And frankincense, brought by one of the magi, represents Christ (?). (I did cheat here by looking up a commentary and confirming these last two.)

Why all the detail? Does it really matter? This is where the eye-popping, heart-stopping reached out and grabbed me. Even the most mundane, every day, common sacrifice (or gift) is to be offered reverently, with grace, by the working of the Spirit, lavished by Jesus Christ’s redeeming blood. My daily life should not consist of moments never given, or given carelessly, or given grudgingly, or apart from the work of Christ. The moments, the grains of my day, are to fall from my fingers as those spoken with grace, lubricated by the Spirit, releasing the aroma of Christ. Perhaps the things I do would be different if I saw them in this light. More likely, the ways in which I do them and the freedom of heart I experience as the finely-ground grain is presented would rise in praise to the God who provided the seeds of grain and the components of the sacrifice.

The grains of life are spent apart from my giving. If only I would consecreate and give them with a heart of gratitude, open hands, and dependence....Jesus, take and bless. In your name and for your glory….

Incense Rising

2011-02-19T14:17:00.000-06:00

This morning's Bible reading took me on a rabbit trail--in spite of numerous interruptions.
I sat down to read the book of Leviticus and finished chapter 1. Made pancakes and sausage. Came back to my computer and Bible, picked out a repeated phrase. Thought about it while stuffing and sealing envelopes with our 9-year-old daughter, Laura, for Good News Club. Checked email and was reminded of dear friends on the mission field whose lives have turned upside down due to physical illness. The choices they are facing breathe depth into this chapter of Leviticus.

‘When any of you brings an offering to the LORD, you shall bring your offering of animals from the herd or the flock…. And the priest shall offer up in smoke all of it on the altar for a burnt offering, an offering by fire of a soothing aroma to the LORD….And the priest shall offer all of it, and offer it up in smoke on the altar; it is a burnt offering, an offering by fire of a soothing aroma to the LORD….And the priest shall offer it up in smoke on the altar on the wood which is on the fire; it is a burnt offering, an offering by fire of a soothing aroma to the LORD.'

No, it's not a typo and no, I didn't hit the "copy" "paste" buttons too many times, that phrase is repeated that many times in the first chapter. It peaked my curiosity.
Here were my simple thoughts (there is room to disagree, I'm still thinking about this):
1) Each person brought an offering and it was freely given
2) The priest was the one who prepared and presented the offering
3) The smoke demonstrated a transformation of the offering from man's purposes to God's purposes
4) The part that pleased God was not the final product, but the process (the aroma, not the ashes).

So, following proper biblical interpretation, these are other passages that paralleled my observations:
1) In Romans 12, Paul urges believers to offer themselves as an offering based on the mercy of God. Many of us have done that and would agree that this is part of the Christian life that begins sanctification (being supernaturally changed into the image of Jesus Christ).
2) Jesus Christ is the one who prepared the way for a right relationship with God. He is the One who presents us to the Father (John 14:6, Hebrews 7:23-27). And He is the ultimate sacrifice upon which our comparably small gift is made (Colossians 1:18-20).
Jesus' sacrifice and love for us was a pleasing aroma to God. He is our mediator and example (Ephesians 5:1-2).
3) The prayers of the saints rise like incense before the Father and He takes great pleasure in them (Revelation 5:8).
4) So it is my prayers, my dependence on the Father to complete His work in and through me, that rise like smoke from the sacrifice of my life which is being transformed from its worldly worth to God's eternal purposes. It is not the final product that is my concern, but the constant turning over of my desires and circumstances to His working that brings Him glory.

And that, dear friends, is the rabbit trail I have been following in my thoughts today. It is not my efforts, my self-denial, or my ministry that blesses the heart of the Father. It is my frailty, my weakness, my dependence, my trust that wafts before His heavenly throne and brings Him pleasure. He has it all. He is in it all. He is over all. And my simple acknowledgement and submission, though humanly impossible, reflects His glory. What a wondrous privilege!

Desire

2011-02-13T13:58:00.000-06:00

Ah, the mantra! "I do what I do because I want what I want. I want what I want because I think what I think." After a week at a counseling conference, my head is swimming with Biblical principles, so perhaps it's not surprising that God would repeat Himself today.

This morning I read Luke chapter 22 and blazing lights surrounded the wants of individuals. The chief priests and scribes wanted Jesus dead (v. 2). Judas wanted an occasion to betray Jesus (v. 6). Jesus wanted (earnestly desired!) to share the Passover with His disciples (v. 15). The disciples wanted to know who was the greatest (v. 24). Want, want, want! Desire, desire, desire!

Now, this afternoon, I'm working through the book Peacemaking Women (by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler) on the topic of idolatry (translated: I want!). And, even as I type, our 9-year-old daughter stumbles into the room wrapped in a shawl begging, "Money! Money! All I need is one penny!"

What do I want? To have acceptance, influence, comfort, friendship? To be wealthy, attractive, sought after? What did Jesus want? To please the Father and do His work (John 17: 1,4,6). There is too much to say in a short blog about the desires of the heart and the perfection of Christ's desires. But I find myself challenged as I ask some of the questions from the end of the chapter by Barthel and Dabler (p. 61):
- I would be completely content or happy in my life if only...
- All I want is ...
- I get most sad and depressed when...
- I feel hopeless when...
- Don't ask me to give up my...

If you, like me, have some concrete answers, it's time to kneel at the foot of the cross for a heart exam and repent. If you find yourself in turmoil or need help, please seek a trusted Christian friend or send me a comment. I'll be glad to interact with you.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Dripping Honey

2011-02-09T21:19:00.000-06:00

This week I am attending a biblical counseling conference. The days are full and long. After three 11-hour days of teaching, my brain is mush.

I will say, though, that the most important session we've had all week came this afternoon when Pastor Brad Bigney's challenge became personal. "What would happen if I asked the people you minister to, 'How can you tell ______________ has been with Jesus?' Not to find the right answers, not to build up her arsenal, but because she simply delights in her time with Him?"

Does my love and passion for Jesus stir up hunger in the hearts of others? Do I leave His banquet table with crumbs on my chest and action-released aroma? How sweet is my personal relationship and daily time with Jesus? "We have believers who have no idea what the banquet of Christ tastes like because they're satisfied with the Twinkies of the world" (Pastor Bigney).

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him. (Ps. 34:8)

"It is a dreary holiness indeed that is merely resisting sin. The joy of holiness is found in having heard a sweeter song....Grace is the work of the Holy Spirit in transforming our desires so that knowing Jesus becomes sweeter than illicit sex, sweeter than money and what it can buy, sweeter than every fruitless joy. Grace is God satisfying our souls with his Son so that we're ruined for anything else!" One Thing (Developing a Passion for the Beauty of God), Sam Storms, p. 123, 140.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died. 2 Corinthians 5:14

I don't know about you, but the very thought makes my mouth water!

Who's Who

2011-02-03T08:10:00.003-06:00

Luke 18

v. 27, 31-34 But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God….” Then He took the twelve aside and said to them, “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and all things which are written through the prophets about the Son of Man will be accomplished. For He will be handed over to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and mistreated and spit upon, and after they have scourged Him, they will kill Him; and the third day He will rise again.” But the disciples understood none of these things, and the meaning of this statement was hidden from them, and they did not comprehend the things that were said.

Observation: Jesus was talking about salvation from man’s side when He made the statement about its impossibility. It is impossible for a man to be reconciled with God. There is not enough money (rich young ruler in this passage); there is not enough righteousness (the boastful Pharisee in this passage). The only ones who are justified or have the hope of receiving the kingdom of God are the humble tax collector (v. 13-14) and the naïve child (v. 16-17). Even if the disciples caught this part, they missed the rest of what Jesus said….

Interpretation: Once again, it’s not my work that brings salvation. If the only way to reach God is through humility and naiveté, there is no room for pride or self-effort. And if every day is lived in that same state of humility and naiveté, then there is a greater dependence and God-awareness in my choices and actions. The what, when, and where of my actions is dependent on God, not myself or others. The outcome of my actions is not my responsibility or to my credit. If my only goal is Christ, I will rejoice in those things that result in His glory.

Application: How can I live in greater humility and dependence today? Set God’s agenda above my own. But, I argue, I have important things I need to do! So, I answer myself, do them, but never apart from Jesus. Don’t miss the most important part: that He was spit upon, beaten and killed on my behalf. Do what must be done with a lowliness of heart, with an ear to the Lord, with an awareness of putting other’s needs first. Don’t rush to the end of the shopping aisle, scaring other patrons. Don’t rudely pull into the closest parking lot. Don’t push aside the children and their desire to share their lives. Don’t brush off a husband’s passing affection. Stop. Rest. Savor. And move as the Lord allows. “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

Reflection

2011-02-02T09:03:00.000-06:00

Luke 17:20-37

v. 20-21: Now having been questioned by the Pharisees as to when the kingdom of God was coming, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed; nor will they say, ‘Look, here it is! Or, ‘There it is!’ For behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst.”

Observation: God has already made Himself known. His provision and presence are so much a part of our lives that we take it for granted and often look past Him.

Interpretation: Perhaps that is why it is so important for believers to glorify and praise Him. By drawing attention away from the event and away from the people, we direct it to God and His constant, awesome provision. It is not that He is not there or has not provided. He is there, but is unseen, unrecognized, unappreciated.

Application: My job is not to “do great things for God.” My job is to simply walk with Christ, to submit to Him setting aside my wants and desires, pointing others to His great work. If I am the one doing the heavy lifting, then there is no grace.

“By the works of the law, no flesh will be justified” (Galatians 2:16)

“And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.” Romans 11:6

“Now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt.” Romans 4:4

But God reveals Himself through my weakness, my inabilities, my inconsistencies. Am I reflecting His light, His glory? Or absorbing it? “For behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst.”

Devastation

2011-01-07T15:26:00.000-06:00

I had the opportunity to teach a couple of times this first week back from Christmas break. One day near the end of our lunch break, one teacher said to another, "So, when do children stop believing in Santa Claus?" She looked expectantly at the other moms sitting around the table. Apparently her five year old had started to question the existence of the old fella and mom wanted the magic to last as long as possible.

I had nothing to contribute to the conversation, but grew more curious as the conversation picked up intensity.

"Has she noticed that not all Santas look the same?"
"Has she started to pull on his beard?"
"Do you use a different wrapping paper for your gifts and Santa's gifts?"

But the most damning of all was the observation that other children create and build the doubt. "There's nothing you can do once the other kids start telling them Santa's not real," was repeated and agreed upon more than once. Once the word's out, there's no stopping the questions, the doubt, the reality of the situation.

And, both sorrowful and rejoicing, I marveled that there is no need to lie to my children about who God is. I don't have to create fantasy or sustain fanciful notions. God is. He has made Himself evident to all of mankind. For "that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." (Romans 1:18-19).

I was relieved with the assurance that our children will never have to question the truth of what we have taught. Sure, they know we are faulty beings and yes, we've made many mistakes. But we have not intentionally built a web of lies about someone who mimics the character of God. God is the One who makes Himself known, apart from my frailty and inability. There is no peer pressure, no wrapping paper, no false beard to guard against.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Has Anyone Seen Jesus?

2010-12-09T06:20:00.001-06:00

A friend recommended a book yesterday and as I read the introduction, I was struck by this insight:
We are often like Jesus' parents who left Him in Jerusalem after the Passover. We follow the prescribed path of obedience, celebration, or discipline then continue on our way, never realizing Jesus' absence.
And that's exactly the passage that was next on my personal reading venture for today: Luke 2:41-52.

Jesus said, "Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?"

But Joseph and Mary did not know Jesus well enough to predict His absence from them and His presence at the temple. They did not understand His need and desire to talk about heavenly things, to immerse Himself in His Father’s business. They left Jerusalem fully expecting that their desires took precedence over Jesus’ and that Jesus would follow if only they led.

How easy it is to leave Jesus in Jerusalem! To go about my business and assume that He’s with me just because it’s what I want to do. And as I go through the routine of today, in preparation for Christmas, I need to stop and ask, "Where's Jesus?"

As I send children off to school for the day: "Where's Jesus?"
As I sort laundry, sweep floors, and pick up misplaced items: "Is Jesus here?"
As I write notes on Christmas letters, wrap gifts, plan holiday parties: "Is Jesus coming?"
As I call friends, send email responses, and facebook replies: "Have you seen Jesus?"

I pray that this Christmas season will be one where His presence is acknowledged and felt in each encounter, each pursuit, and each step of the journey--or that I will choose to return to "Jerusalem" and sit at His feet until He is ready to go....

Absent Evangelism: Attack of the Stomach Flu

2010-12-06T06:14:00.000-06:00

When our nine-year-old daughter came down with the stomach flu last week, I knew it would happen. It didn't hit until the end of the day and I was tired. I didn't take the usual precautions and yes, the bug hit me 36 hours later. The day before I was scheduled to present "The True Meaning of Christmas" for a friend's outreach brunch. Yes, 36 hours. And the brunch was going to take place 21 hours after I hit the pillow.

My friend sounded a little concerned when I reached her after work that evening. "Okay. Okay," she assured me (and herself). Followed by "This is too funny," and a laugh. "Our Sunday school teacher challenged us to share the gospel with ten people this week and I'm scared to death. Maybe this is God's answer."

And it was. She wasn't sure what to say to the women or how to say it. But the Lord had already given me the time to put my thoughts on paper. I sent her the outline and she got to share Christ with friends she sees on a regular basis, but has not personally told about their need for Jesus and His provision. Yes, God even uses the stomach flu to guide and use His people. I must say it was the most exciting outreach event I've ever missed!

The Freedom of Work

2010-11-22T22:41:00.003-06:00

The following is a quote from Horatius Bonar, a Scottish pastor, as quoted in The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges (p. 207). It is too good to keep to myself!

It is forgiveness that sets a man working for God. He does not work in order to be forgiven, but because he has been forgiven, and the consciousness of his sin being pardoned makes him long more for its entire removal than ever he did before.
An unforgiven man cannot work. He has not the will, nor the power, nor the liberty. He is in chains. Israel in Egypt could not serve Jehovah. "Let my people go, that they may serve Me," was God's message to Pharaoh (Exodus 8:1): first liberty, then service.
A forgiven man is the true worker, the true Law-keeper. He can, he will, he must work for God. He has come into contact with that part of God's character which warms his cold heart. Forgiving love constrains him. He cannot but work for Him who has removed his sins from him as far as the east is from the west. Forgiveness has made him a free man, and given him a new and most loving Master. Forgiveness, received freely from the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, acts as a spring, an impulse, a stimulus of divine potency. It is more irresistible than law, or terror, or threat.

Horatio Bonar, God's Way of Holiness (Durham, England: Evangelical Press, 1979; originally published 1864), 51-52.

Sacrificial Giving

2010-11-21T06:35:00.001-06:00

This morning in preparation of Thanksgiving, I have been reminded of sacrifices. The first groups that come to mind as an American are our men and women in the armed forces and their families. We are so thankful for their personal, daily sacrifices (and should take the time to tell and show them!).

As Christians, the overwhelming sacrifice we think of regularly is that of Jesus Christ, God as man, God taking His own wrath for my sin. No sacrifice can compare to Jesus' humble, total, torturous gift of Himself on my behalf.

But if, in our Christian walk, we think of Christ likeness as gentleness, patience, and love apart from personal loss, we have lost focus. Being like Christ is to put off my personal reputation and walk in obedience regardless of others' acceptance. Being like Christ is to represent God at all times in all places verbally and actually. Being like Christ is to submit to all authority with meekness. Being like Christ is to bear the misunderstandings of others. Being like Christ is to challenge that which is man-centered and self-centered and put it in the perspective of God, and God alone.

In this way, through daily, moment by moment dependence I become a living sacrifice. My life, my thoughts, my actions, my choices are each offered to God as a gift. "Is this what you would have me do, Lord?" "Is this what you would have me speak?" "Is this what you would have me give?" The moments of my day then become a conversation with God. I become that living sacrifice, a purchased gift with a specific purpose (Romans 12:1, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

But what do I do when the cost is too great? When God challenges my reason, my rights, my needs? A dear friend shared this verse which resonates with me even as I consider giving the sacrifice of thanksgiving. "God is the LORD, And He has given us light; Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar" (Psalm 118:27). Sometimes, realistically, I can't give thanks. Sometimes, realistically, I can't give God the obedience He desires. Most of the time, realistically, I don't want to. And this verse has become a repeated prayer, "Lord, if you must, bind me to the horns of the altar." Only God can give me the motivation, the love, and the obedience that is required to please Him (Philippians 2:13, 2 Corinthians 5:14, Hebrews 11:6). In giving to God what is His due there is peace and joy--not because God wins and I lose. If that is my view of Christian service, I do not know the true and living God.

God loves me infinitely, purely, wholly. In doing what He commands I fulfill my purpose and He receives the worth-ship that belongs to Him and Him alone. This Thanksgiving I am praying for a more dependent, grateful attitude. One that esteems God above all others, especially myself, even if it means tying my hands to the horns of the altar! For "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11).

A Bad Christian

2010-11-11T06:03:00.004-06:00

"So I said to him, 'You know, Dad, you're a really good religious person, but you're a bad Christian.'"
That comment has stuck in my head since yesterday afternoon. A new friend was sharing herself with me and that is how she saw her dad, a pastor. A tragedy for the people he ministered to, a tragedy for his family, a tragedy for his eternal self. But I was encouraged by my friend's discernment. Too many of us are "good religious people" but "bad Christians."
Here are a couple of things she brought up that are worth mentioning to those of us who minister in our local church Bodies:
1) Once a notable member of the congregation brought three guests with her. They were of a different race. They were beautiful. They were well-to-do. And no one greeted them. No one talked to them. For weeks after that incident, everyone gave that church member the cold shoulder. Hmmm. Would I react this way?
2) Once a woman with a "spotted" past confessed her sin, God changed her life, but she was held at arm's length. "She scrubbed the floors for those people, she made them meals, she washed the dishes after potlucks, and they treated her like dirt." Hmmmm. Would I react this way?
I must say that, during our visit I did some dirt-checking of my own. How do I think of others? How do I treat others in our church Body? If she were to come to our church, what would she see? What do others see? Do they see Jesus at work? Or are we just a bunch of "religious people" playing church?
As we parted I shared an insight of my own. "I've realized that it's not just about reading your Bible. Even if people read the Bible everyday, it doesn't mean a thing until they come to the point of saying, 'God, you're right. I'm wrong. I need you to make up the difference.'" And that is where Jesus Christ comes in. There is no change--in fact, there is only petrification of stubborn pride--until I repent and submit to God. Then, as I walk in the reality of my own frailty and failure, I am more accepting of others and more ready to point them to an all-sufficient, all-loving God.
I continue to chew on our conversation, with an eye on my attitude: Am I defensive or repentant? It's the difference between being a good religious person or a true Christian.

End Notes

2010-10-12T14:18:00.002-05:00

After arriving home from our ladies' Bible study this morning, I realized that loose ends were mentioned in Sunday school, Young Adult Fellowship, and this morning's study. Here are the resources and biblical references I didn't have on hand when they came up in discussion:

Sunday School—Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp:

Here’s a book that biblically confronts the deceit of self-esteem: Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World by Jill Rigby http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Unselfish-Children-Self-Absorbed-World/dp/141655842X.
Young Adult Fellowship—Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges:

The book, The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence was mentioned. Inside the cover it says, “‘Lord of all pots and pans and things…Make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates!’ Thus Brother Lawrence was able to turn even the most commonplace and menial task into a living hymn to the glory of God.” http://www.amazon.com/Practice-Presence-God-Brother-Lawrence/dp/0800785991

Ladies’ Bible Study—The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges:

Amos was referred to this morning as an example of someone who was taught by God (i.e. Titus 2:11-12 “…the grace of God…teaches us….”.) The reference is Amos 7:14-15.

Household management—my top pick is Bonnie’s Household Organizer by Bonnie McCollough, but I haven’t seen them all and there are more good housekeeping books than I can count. Although this is an older book, it is family-centered (not house centered) and has more practical ideas than I could ever use--so there's always something I can improve on even if I learn s-l-o-w-l-y.
http://www.amazon.com/Bonnies-Household-Organizer-Essential-Getting/dp/0312087950

Quiet Discovery

2010-10-10T07:26:00.000-05:00

I woke with a song this morning--more than that of the lovely owl who hooted in the dawn through our open window--there was a tune in my head...and words. A tune and words I hadn't heard before. The clock read 4:01. And, instead of saying "Speak, Lord, for your servant hears," I seem to recall saying, "You've got to be kidding, Lord. It's 4:00 a.m."

And the song continued. I thought about stopping it and rolling over, but the thought that we actually have a notation program on the computer stopped me. I tried recalling the notes and words--perhaps I would remember them at a more godly hour (!). But the prompting in my head said, "Obedience is obedience--no matter what time of day."

So, I climbed out of bed, made a pot of coffee, fed the cat (who wakes me routinely at 4:30--my husband's cat, mind you), and sat down at the computer with ear buds. It's not an earth shattering, gotta-hear-it-cause-it's-the-next-Keith-and-Kristyn-Getty-song (http://www.gettymusic.com/). But it's the gift God gave this morning.

And the realization came that, after reading a brief encouragement in World magazine (http://www.worldmag.com/index.cfm, October 9th issue), I stopped listening to audio books as much this week. And, in the quiet, God spoke. Maybe not when I would like, but in the quiet, unbroken hours.

So stop already. Make some quiet in your life today. Wait and listen. God is there.

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 59:16

Repentance or Remorse? You Choose

2010-10-09T06:05:00.000-05:00

How often we say or do something we wish we could change later! Some of us go to great lengths to fix a problem we've created--perhaps we slandered someone and that person found out, perhaps we denied a situation existed only to suffer the consequences later. No matter what the offense, we have two choices. We can admit our sin and turn to God, through Jesus, for forgiveness. Or we can try to fix the problem ourselves.

Matthew 26:69-27:10

v. 75, 3-5: And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, “Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!” And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.

Observation: Our sin is manifested personally, with huge consequences. No one else shares my guilt. No one else shares my despair. No one else shares my penalty. Sin is real. The results of sin are real. Both Peter and Judas sinned against Jesus personally. Both of them sinned against Jesus publicly. Both of them felt great remorse and shame and despair. But Peter knew Christ enough—had the grace to return to Jesus—and receive forgiveness. For Judas there was no faith that Jesus would forgive and receive. There was no returning. There was only death.

Application: Repentance is a repetitive act of faith in returning to the Lord Jesus Christ for acceptance and forgiveness. Repentance does not erase the sin, but Jesus covers the sin. Repentance does not remove the consequences, but Jesus provides Himself through the consequences. Repentance does not apply to anyone but myself. The opposite of repentance is remorse—grief over having to suffer the consequences apart from the faith to return to Christ humiliated and stricken. Repetitive repentance grows and demonstrates faith. Peter chose repentance. Judas chose remorse. It is the appeal to man for acceptance and removal of consequences that hinders faith and brings destruction.

Consumed

2010-10-07T05:59:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been so consumed with a thought, or a problem, or a person that you struggled to get something, anything, done? That is an annoyance of the human condition--to be overcome, emotionally, and struggle to get free. As I read today's Scripture, I couldn't help but think that this woman was consumed with thoughts of Jesus and a driving passion to love and honor Him. And, no, in this case, its was not an annoyance, but a God-directed prompting that could not be put aside.

Matthew 26:6-35

v. 10: But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me.”

Observation: The woman who anointed Jesus with the costly perfume did it because she loved Jesus. Her thoughts were no doubt consumed with Jesus and she could not think of anything less. She could not do the next thing until she had expressed her love for Jesus.

Application: How often am I so consumed with love for Jesus that I must do something to serve Him? How often am I so burdened to do something, anything, for Jesus that I can do nothing else until that has been accomplished? Is my life characterized by Jesus-centered words and actions? No. Too often it is full of self: self-focused thoughts, self-focused actions, self-focused plans and agendas. How does this change? Jesus said, "Ask and you shall receive" (Matthew 7:7).
So, is it simply in the asking that God will grant my request? Yes, if it is aligned with His will (1 John 5:14). I know it is because I have the assurance of His Word that He wants me to love Him with all my mind, soul, and strength (Matthew 22:37-38). So, I'm asking. God, will You change my focus, my thoughts, my goals, my words until You are at the center—the only One at the center--and I am peripheral. If I were simply the tool, the vessel, the conduit withYou as the content— the way You've always intended—what a different life it would be…. To make Christ seen, known, preeminent. Be the center, Lord, be my passion.

Exposure: A Heresy of the Heart

2010-09-30T08:29:00.002-05:00

A number of years ago my husband and I attended a teen's funeral. With a heightened awareness of the pain and suffering in that sanctuary, my anger was aroused as the person in charge laid out one lie after another. College students, not planning to attend a funeral so far from home, came in mismatched black clothing and sat shivering the the pews, holding and comforting one another. From behind, all we could see of the family were their stoically rigid backs and flashes of white kleenex as they wiped their faces. The clergyman spoke empty words of peace and assurance. At one point I turned to my husband and whispered, "If this goes on much longer, you are going to have to restrain me." It took all I had not to stand up and shout, "Heresy! Heresy! They're lies! All lies!"

That said, this morning I discovered heresy in my heart. In an effort to better steward this earthly vessel, I am working my way through the First Place 4 Health Bible studies. I picked up the book, "Giving Christ First Place" on the recommendation of a pastor's wife and was blessed with a 43-pound loss a few years ago. Sadly, weight sneaks back, and before I lose complete control, I'm on to another of their studies. This morning I discovered an insidious thought pattern as I looked at Ephesians 6--the armor of God.

"Identify an area where you have relied on the world's philosophies and psychology in a vain attempt to overcome the spiritual forces that wage war against your soul..." (Daily Victory, Daily Joy p. 63). It didn't take much prayer to recall that yesterday--after completing much of my to-do list, exercising and eating responsibly--I indulged in strawberry milk and animal crackers while running errands. That may not be your definition of gluttony--and it wasn't even a dark sin I snuck off in the corner to commit, but it was outside my allowance for the day. God and I knew it. My accountability partner, Sara, knows it. But God wasn't finished. It was more than the act, it was the thought behind the act.

What was I thinking? "Because I have done this: ___________; I deserve this: ______________." Look back: because I had completed much of my to-do list, exercised, and eaten responsibly I could now celebrate with 550 "free" calories. WOO.....hoo.

But, you might argue, that's just positive reinforcement and performance management. There's nothing wrong with rewarding yourself, la da da da da. And that's what I've told myself, too--until today. Once I wrote my thoughts on paper I saw their duplicity. Do I really think that because I've done something right so-many-times-in-a-row I deserve to sin? Does God really say, "You've been such a good girl, you're entitled to some fun. Go dabble in your favorite sin and come back when you're ready"? Not. The biblical model is to keep doing right, not to grow weary in doing good, to rejoice in God and His righteousness. There is no comfort in sin. There is no peace or satisfaction or accomplishment. "This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. " (Titus 3:8).

We would all agree that God doesn't give out sin-tickets for good behavior, but I have found that I live as if He does (or at least I pretend He does). How different my life would be if I didn't justify bad behavior based on good behavior. And how important it is to know God wholly, truly, reverently; living in constant dependence. And, as the verse on this site reminds me frequently--refreshment follows repentance. Praise God for revealing heresy--from what I hear, it's a lifelong process.

Whose Party is This?!

2010-09-28T06:01:00.001-05:00

Matthew 22

v. 3-5, 11-12: And [the King] sent out his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding feast, and they were unwilling to come. Again he sent out other slaves saying, “Tell those who have been invited, ‘Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen, and my fattened livestock are all butchered and everything is ready; come to the wedding feast.’” But they paid no attention and went their way, one to his own farm, another to his business….

But when the king came in to look over the dinner guests, he saw a man there who was not dressed in wedding clothes, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without wedding clothes?” And the man was speechless.

Observation: The King was ready. The feast was ready. The invitation was given. The people had other plans. Then when clothes were provided, the guest expressed his own personal preference—he did not submit himself to wearing what the King provided.

Application: I understand that the "call" of the King is the call to repentance--but I remain God's subject even after I've received His invitation. How many times do I have “other plans” when it comes to obedience to God? God says, “Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy.” But I have other plans. God says, “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, you are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore honor God with your body.” But I have other plans. God says, “Wives, submit to your husband in everything.” But He doesn’t really mean that, does He? Not everything? I have other plans.

There was one man who was willing to change His plans and come to the King. He put aside his own agenda to celebrate with the King in His household—but his other plan was to wear his own clothes. So, I come to God, I eat His food (by reading the Bible), I spend time with His people, I enjoy the sights and sounds of His kingdom, but I don’t like His taste when it comes to my personal choices and ministry. I’d rather do it my way than His. The rest of them can do whatever…but I’m going to teach Sunday school this way….or I’m going to worship this way…or I’m going to create this fabulous new program…. And God? Where did God’s plan go?

“Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For Many are called, but few are chosen.” (v. 13-14)

Only God’s plan. Only God’s way….

Give Me!... Please?

2010-09-25T07:01:00.001-05:00

Matthew 20

v. 26b-28: …whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many.

Observation: The early laborers to the vineyard had—they had a denarius, they had had a full day’s work—but they wanted more in comparison to the other workers (v. 12). James and John had—they had front row seats to Jesus, they had an eternal kingdom ahead—but they wanted more in comparison to the other disciples (v. 20-24). The blind men had—they had life and were somehow getting by—but they wanted more. They wanted their sight.

In the middle of everyone’s desire for what they didn’t have, Jesus foretold His betrayal, abuse, and death. He was painfully clear about who would be involved and what would happen, but there is no recorded response. The text seems to beg, “Really, Jesus? Are you sure you have that right? You must be mistaken.” There was no recognition of His gift; of His deity; of His lovingkindness from those who surrounded him daily.

Looking more closely at those who wanted more, the laborers felt entitled. They had worked longer. They “grumbled at the landowner.” (v. 11). Good thing I never grumble.

James and John appear to have recruited their mother to help ask Jesus for special treatment. They said, “we are able” to do whatever is asked in exchange for the honor of sitting at your right and left hand. The workers and disciples felt entitled to special treatment from God. Their words and actions reveal that, because of their labor, God was now under obligation to treat them accordingly.

But God is not under obligation to any man. He is God. “Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?” (v. 15).

The blind men, on the other hand, cried out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” They recognized that Jesus may or may not grant their request. They had nothing to offer in return. God’s mercy would be extended or withheld at the discretion of the Master. It was not in the getting that they recognized Jesus’ lordship, it was already His. They laid their pitiful voices and humility at the feet of Jesus. And He healed them.

Application: How do I come to Jesus? Do I come expecting to receive more in comparison to others because of some special service or sacrifice? Or do I recognize Him for who He is—the Son of Man, the representative of man, the gift given to redeem man? When I demand more, when I grumble, when I expect better treatment do I stop to look at Jesus? The One who was delivered to the chief priests and scribes who condemned him to death? Who was then handed Him over to the Gentiles to mock and scourge and crucify? And who, on the third day, was raised up? (v. 18-19).

What did I want again? I think I just forgot.

Mission Impossible

2010-09-24T08:28:00.000-05:00

Matthew 19:1-30

Observation: Marriage, children, money, sacrifice—all of these things Jesus valued differently than men. When Jesus described God’s ideal for marriage, the disciples answered, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” Jesus values life-long commitment.

When children were brought for His blessing, the disciples rebuked them. Jesus welcomed them. Jesus values children.

When the ruler attested that he had kept the 10 commandments, Jesus compared his affection for people with his affection for riches. Jesus values people.

When the disciples questioned the value of their earthly sacrifice in comparison with the rich young ruler, Jesus assured them of His generosity. Jesus values sacrifice.

Application: All of these are impossible. It is impossible for a married couple to live as one entity for a lifetime. It is impossible to value children over and above the demands of life. It impossible to value people more than riches. It is impossible to live a life of sacrifice and service…without Jesus.

In and of myself I will value those things that meet my desires, that quench my thirst—even temporarily. But with Jesus’ indwelling character, I will surrender my desires to be unified with my mate. With Jesus’ help, I will value and bless children, not push them aside or make them wait until a more convenient time. Through Jesus I will see the value in others and willingly give from my abundance to serve those in need. And because of Jesus, I will not measure today’s sacrifice against the riches of another. I will count it all loss to in light of gaining Christ and His righteousness (Philippians 3:8). My values? His values? Today I will ask for opportunities to live out the impossible.

Evangelism and a Cow

2010-09-19T06:12:00.001-05:00

I woke to Bubby's bellow outside my window at 5:00 this morning. Again, David and I jumped out of bed and found our way outside in the dark. Bubby stayed where he was as I went to him, rubbed his head, and visited quietly with him. Then, as I called him and walked toward the pasture, he followed. This time he went with only a little hesitation--no balking.

As I made coffee to start my morning the old-fashioned, traditional way, I reflected on Bubby and the similarities with community friends and students at Friday night's football game. This last week, Bubby escaped repeatedly. We have fixed the fence in numerous ways, kenneled him in the barn, and made sure his needs are provided. He keeps walking out of the pasture (yes, we installed an electric fence). Friday night I had the opportunity to see and spend time with a number of the students and parents I worked with at the high school last year. So many of them have pains, anxieties, and frustrations that weigh them down. No one is able to adequately calm their hearts or provide peace. But when I can come alongside them repeatedly, I have the opportunity to build a sense of trust.

God is the One who throws the lasso and allows the pressure, but I can come alongside them with kindness, reassurance, and truth. It is not a one-time interaction. As I have the opportunity to present Christ, they balk and shake their heads. Over time they watch, they listen, they wonder. And God works. I am not the cow-whisperer. I am not the people-whisperer. But I can speak truth, and love, and grace for it is mine to share and offer. The pasture is a wonderful place. It is the best place. But until others see the goodness of God and He gives them the faith to trust, I will continue to walk alongside, to love, and speak truth. And I have hope because the Head Roper and I are on the same team.

"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God." (2 Corinthians 4:1-15)

The Cow Whisperer--or Not

2010-09-17T09:33:00.001-05:00

The phone rang at 2:30 a.m. David, my husband, answered and after a brief conversation hurried out of bed and into his clothes.
"Who was that?"
"The sheriff. Bubby's out," he answered.
"Oh, no..."

Earlier (6:30-a.m.-earlier) that same day the neighbor had pulled into our driveway in his red truck to let us know our cow was in his backyard. After losing our dog, Pretty, to a car accident last week, I shuddered to think of 600-pound Bubby on the highway....(see http://www.getrealfarmlife.blogspot.com/).

I walked across the pasture toward the neighbors calling his name. When he heard my voice, he picked his head up from the grass and looked at me, framed by evergreens. It was precious. He jumped in the air and ran down the fence line. I ran alongside him, then walked him the rest of the way home. After a lovely bite of flowers, he allowed David and I to herd him back through the gate. "You're the Cow Whisperer," David commented in awe. I was proud. It had been so easy to call Bubby and walk him home.

There was no apparent hole in the fence. "Maybe Hoover is missing Pretty and decided to take Bubby out on his morning walk," our daughter, Laura, suggested. Hoover, our other retriever, has been quite lonely lately. What a perfect solution!

Now, this call at 2:30 a.m. I won't go into all the gory details, but suffice it to say that the "Cow Whisperer" lost her title. We searched. We found. We lassoed. We lost. We chased. We cajoled. We pushed (thankfully he hasn't learned to kick yet--but there are some unpleasantries associated with pushing an uncooperative cow from behind). At one point I had the lasso around my waist in an effort to anchor him. When he took off running, the rope pulled taut around my middle and my foot tangled in the tail-end. I hit the ground sliding. Praise the Lord for a husband who threw himself on the rope and kept me from trailing through the soybean field behind a mad cow!

David cinched the lasso close and applied the "Lasso Rule:" when you pull away or go the wrong direction, your wind pipe will suffer and there is pain; when you come near and go the right direction, there is relief.

What spiritual applications did I learn?
- Pride goes before a fall. God is the One who allowed Bubby to come home so easily that first morning. I regretted my pride and gloating "before the cock crowed" the next day.
- Sometimes in our Christian walk, we are quick to follow Jesus--we're so excited to see Him that we'll go anywhere just to walk by His side. It should always be like that.
- There are times, however, when we choose to go our own way and wander outside the protection He's provided. He then applies "life's lasso." It chokes us when we turn away and relieves us as we stay close by His side.

You can read this and walk away. I, unfortunately, am still limping a bit and nursing my bruised hip. Praise God for real reminders of His loving care, His constant nature, and His patient work!

This Rolling Stone...

2010-09-13T15:24:00.001-05:00

I received a phone call from a dear friend this afternoon who opened our conversation by asking, "How busy are you?" Oh, boy. My mind raced through a list of to-do's as I caught my breath.
"Too busy," I admitted.
"How are you handling it?" she asked. Now, with some people this is an up-front question. Knowing her, it was a trick question. She loves me enough to be honest. Bluffing was out of the question. Fortunately, God and I had already had this discussion today.
"I'm handling it one moment at a time. There's too much to do. So I told the Lord that if He would prompt me and direct each step, with His help, I'll be obedient."
"Do you have time for me?"
"This is as good a prompting as I'll get," and a pleasant one, too, I said to myself.
By the time we finished our conversation and hung up the phone, God had blessed me abundantly. She shared how God is working in her life, where she's struggling, and as she preached to herself, she spoke to my almost-harried heart.
God knows the demands of each hour and each day. He knows the calling He has on our lives. I can honestly say that the responsibilities I have taken on are God-given. I am practicing the art of saying no to those people and things I would say yes to simply as a courtesy or because of other's expectations. The things on my plate are personal callings from God, but there is no physical, earthly way to accomplish them (need I add: to do them the way I think they should be done?). Somehow, God does.
So, for tonight's young adult barbecue, my kitchen floor may not be spotless, the cobweb may still be in the windowsill, I will no doubt have a pile of copies to make for Good News Club sitting on the dining room table. But if God gives sweetness to the fellowship and brings honoring words from our hearts, then it doesn't all have to be done to my specifications, does it? It is the Spirit who burdens, the Father who provides, and the Son who bridges the gap. In the incomplete moment of this day, there is no moss gathering on these heavenly treasures... God keeps moving me along. Praise Him, praise Him!

Procrastination and A Heavy Burden

2010-09-10T09:00:00.000-05:00

So, yes, at this moment---while you think I am writing to encourage you--I am actually procrastinating. Perhaps there will be a blessing for you in my personal procrastination. I should be walking on the treadmill, but I was feeling weary and weighed down. My usual speed was too fast, my attention drawn elsewhere. The weighted vest I wear seemed extraordinarily heavy.
As I sat here at the dining room table typing on my laptop yesterday, there was an interruption in the traffic outside. I ran out in my grey shorts, t-shirt, and bare feet to see cars stopped and our old golden retriever lying in the road. God bless the fellow that stopped to help. I ran through the house to get shoes, then out to the barn where I prayed for something to move her (she must have weighed 100 lbs, even with her ribs on the surface--yes, she was old). There was a slatted wooden fence piece neaby which I grabbed and carried back to the road.
Traffic was moving as the gentleman stood over Pretty, our dog, directing cars this way and that. What a beautiful picture of the Holy Spirit. When crisis strikes and we are wounded, the rest of the world moves on--but there was one who stopped, intervened, and helped me carry Pretty to the shade of a nearby tree where she and I waited for my husband to take her into the veterinarian. She was given an injection. It was all very peaceful. Her only yelp was at the moment of impact.
Needing a physical outlet, I found my way outside and worked on pruning rose bushes until our girls arrived home on the school bus. Now I'm a little tired and sore. And not wanting to wear this weighted vest and walk my four miles.
In all of this, I was reminded of what I read earlier this week and stopped walking to share it with you: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30) What a great exchange--my burden for His. His burden for mine.
My burden: loss, the desire to please, the want to fix things and change circumstances. His burden: to please the Father, to trust the Father with all circumstances and things, to walk in obedience. What a deal. I give Him my sense of loss, the burden of unnecessary responsibility and cares. He gives me the ability to trust, rest, and obey. That makes life much more bearable. Peaceful. Joyful. Free.
So what do I do with heavy vest? Maybe I'll wear it tomorrow....

Jesus vs. Me

2010-09-09T10:28:00.001-05:00

Passage: Matthew 12: 1-29

V. 15b-21: Many followed Him, and He healed them all, and warned them not to tell who He was. This was to fulfill what was spoken through Isaiah, the prophet: “Behold, My Servant whom I have chosen; My Beloved in whom My soul is well-pleased; I will put My spirit upon Him, and He shall proclaim justice to the Gentiles. He will not quarrel, nor cry out; nor will anyone hear His voice in the streets. A battered reed He will not break off, and a smoldering wick He will not put out, until He leads justice to victory. And in His name the Gentiles will hope.”

Observation: In sharing this O.T. prophecy we see the nature of Christ in a few words: He is God’s servant, He is loved of God, He is the Chosen One, He pleases God first and foremost, He announces justice, He seeks peace, He does not draw attention to Himself, He is gentle and merciful, He is patient, He is trustworthy.

Application: I can know that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He continues to serve the Father, to be loved. He is the Chosen One who pleases God first. He makes known the way of justice. He seeks peace. He does not draw attention to Himself, but gently and mercifully cares for that which is losing hope. He continues to patiently wait for His time to lead in justice and victory. He is worthy of our trust.

I can take heart that, as one who is called to be His imitator, this is His calling on my life. I am called to be God’s servant—not my own master, not the servant of my own desires and whims. Through Jesus Christ, I am loved and chosen. I am free to seek His agenda and His will because my own agenda and will are base, temporal, fleeting. Because of His love and choice, I have the freedom and authority to accomplish His purposes. I am not called to quarrel against those who would disagree. It is not my place to cry out. I am not called to draw attention to myself and put myself in the limelight. I am simply called to minister mercy and grace to the hurting, the lost, and those losing hope. In reaching out to those in need, I will patiently wait for His victory and justice, holding out that same hope to others.

So how am I doing? Not well. My flesh does not want to rest in being chosen, but wants to strive for importance. As a matter of fact, it does not want to be chosen at all—it wants to choose “for itself” (no pride there?). My flesh wants to be the one to love, not the one who is loved (again, I want the control). My flesh wants to please me, not Him. It does not want to proclaim justice; it wants to create justice (Clint Eastwood style!). My flesh wants to cry out, to quarrel, and to draw attention to the misdeeds of the world, of circumstance, of sinful man. It wants to hold center stage—now and always. It does not want to flubber over a smoldering wick or apply mercy to a broken reed. It wants victory NOW. It wants confidence and assurance NOW.

Wow. Good thing I’m reading God’s Word. It’s so not who I am. But by God’s grace, and by His Spirit, He will do the work as I submit. Whew. Praise God who gives the victory! Salvation is not a moment of faith; it is a lifetime of faith.

If I Play My Flute, Will He Come?

2010-09-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, September 7, 2010 Matthew 11:1-19

Verses 4-5, 16-17: Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them…. But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places, who call out to the other children, and say, “We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.”

Observation: Jesus declared His work for what it was—it was visible, it was real, but the problems and difficulties of life continued. John expected Jesus to fix things—his things, his life, his circumstances—but Jesus came to do the will of the Father. He healed, He forgave, He taught. His work was evident, but it wasn’t all that John had in mind. The people also had expectations of Jesus—they wanted Him to play their games, to be part of their world. Instead, He did His Father’s will; He invited them to be part of His world.

Application: Why do I expect Jesus to fix all of my problems? He continues to do the will of the Father. He continues to live a life of humility (after all, He intercedes on my behalf—wouldn’t He have more interesting, important things to do in heaven than pray?! For stinky sinner people?!). He continues to change the hearts of men. He doesn’t play my games. He doesn’t bend to my will. He doesn’t dishonor Himself by becoming part of my world, but He calls me apart to His. He sets me apart to do His will, by His Spirit He empowers and enables me to do become part of His world, to do His work. And I would rather muck around in mine? Lord, forgive me for questioning your amazing work, for playing my flute and expecting you to dance to my tune, for wallowing in self-pity and inviting you to enter in. Please continue your transforming, sanctifying work in my life. Help me to hear and see Your will and way in my life and the lives of those around me. Give me a heart of worship and submission, in the name of the One who saves, in Jesus name. Amen.

Life in the Spotlight

2010-09-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I prepared an article for submission, then went back to an old file to grab information for the cover letter. God is so good to remind us of Himself. Conviction fell as I read this paragraph:

My beliefs about the Bible:
"My life and acts of service are a result of Christ’s working, not my own. I firmly believe that the Word of God, together with the working of His Spirit, is sufficient for my needs. This Word of God is useful for doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness to fully equip each believer for the good works God has prepared (II Timothy 3:16-17, Ephesians 2:10). I believe it is the Word of Truth (II Timothy 2:15, John 17:17), that it is quick, powerful, and useful for discerning our thoughts and intents (Hebrews 4:12). God’s Word is an offensive weapon against spiritual deceit (Ephesians 6:17), and it keeps us from offending our Father (Psalm 119:11). The Bible is accurate, infallible and eternal. The proper use of God’s Word builds up His Body and accomplishes His will and purpose (Isaiah 55:11)."

Only God. Only God can take these things we do, these things we say, and turn the spotlight on Himself. As we continue in ministry--in life--may it that our lives and acts of service continually reflect Jesus Christ Himself.

Memoir of a Once Nice Person

2010-09-01T08:32:00.001-05:00

Perhaps you’ve heard it said (or said it yourself), “Ruby-Toes is such a nice person!” Or maybe you are that nice person—the one people like to have on committees, the one who is the first to compliment a new hairstyle or accommodate a different idea.

Nice people are often good listeners and they have a lot of personal contacts. But, as a once-nice person, I’m here to tell you otherwise. When it comes to nice people, what you see is probably not what you get.

As a once-nice person, I have been convicted that niceness is not good. It is not biblical. It is not right. Unless you have already stumbled upon this little-known truth, you may be reading with your mouth agape, in absolute shock. “What’s wrong with being nice?” you ask. Let me tell you my woeful tale, starting at the beginning.

I was born at a very young age, the first child of four, to a pair of up-and-coming professionals. As a compliant child, my standard answer to any question of preference was, “I don’t care.” My parents taught me well. Grandma would ask, “Would you like hot cocoa?”

“I don’t care.”

“What do you mean, ‘I don’t care?’ Either you would or wouldn’t. Would you like some?”

Next standard answer, “Whatever’s easiest for you, Grandma.”

And so life went. It was a blessing to be born with the desire to please. I never rebelled as a teenager (all the options seemed self-destructive or inconvenient). God allowed me to manage school, a part-time job, and extra-curricular activities until I was married at the age of 20. Sometimes it bothered me that our furniture and home décor matched my husband’s preference to a “t,” but I never complained. I was proud: “Just give me a template and let me please you.” I was convinced that all my pleasing was just what Jesus would do. He would give it all up—even the little things—to serve others.

And then, (drum roll please), I began to think about the times Jesus didn’t please others, of the times He literally disagreed and defied others. He never said, “It doesn’t matter,” or “whatever’s easiest for you.” He only bowed His will to the Father’s. Oh, boy. And I began to consider the things I was getting in return for my service: kind words, added responsibility, smiles, unfair advantages. And I wondered, “What would life be like if I wasn’t nice?” Would people still like me? Would they give me what I want? Would they give me what I want?! There it was—my heart revealed! It was easy for me to be nice and give in to others’ wants and demands because of the power of manipulation. All these years, I had covertly been getting my own way very “nicely.”

Praise the Lord, He intervened. But it was a very trying, difficult number of years. I learned that God actually designed me to have my own preferences—and there is nothing sinful about liking things a certain way. I don’t know if this change was harder on me or on my husband. I was communicating my likes and dislikes—discovering my likes and dislikes—and it was creating conflict. After being married nearly twenty years, my husband discovered he was married to someone he didn’t know—and who didn’t know herself!

I had to fight the urge to be agreeable all the time. I had to fight the urge to be liked, and wanted, and pleasant. It wasn’t that I wanted trouble, but I wanted freedom; freedom to make choices, freedom from lies, freedom to be myself. And that was okay, because that’s how God made me. I also wanted to be obedient—obedient to God first and foremost instead of being obedient to others’ whims or my own hidden agendas. Whew.

Now, now that I’m not nice, life is a little more hairy. It’s more challenging at times. I’m learning to roll with conflict. To agree to disagree. To learn how to respond when others say “no” directly instead of indirectly. And, overall, I believe I’m more trustworthy. I can be honest with you about how you look, where we should go for lunch, how much I’ve prayed for you lately, and where God is working in my life. I can love you more sincerely because I am willing to acknowledge and overlook your faults instead of bending to your will and then holding a grudge against you for not doing things my way (which I was unwilling or unable to communicate). Though it’s been difficult, I have acknowledged that the base problem is not others, but my desire of wanting what I want because I want it.

And now, now that I’m not nice, God is showing me all the big and little items I hid behind “curtain number two” the whole time I was pleasing others instead of Him. God’s description of the young boy, Samuel, has been a lifeline to me, “But Samuel was ministering before the LORD -a boy wearing a linen ephod.” (1 Samuel 2:18) Samuel wasn’t ministering to Eli. He wasn’t ministering to the people. He wasn’t even ministering to his parents. Samuel was ministering before the Lord—and others were blessed by His service.

As I continue to work at overcoming niceness, that is my aim: to minister before the Lord, and Him alone. If you are struggling with being a nice person, I challenge you to begin by being honest with God. Spend time in prayer and His Word asking Him to reveal your heart. If you are struggling because you live with a nice person, continue to pray that God would do a work in his or her heart and lovingly challenge that niceness. Being nice is an addiction, but our God is sufficient. He desires our worship and praise to be directed at Him and Him alone.

Resources:

 Pleasing People: How not to be an "approval junkie" by Lou Priolo

 When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward T. Welch

 No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. PhD PhD Degler

 Jesus Mean and Wild: The Unexpected Love of an Untamable God by Mark Galli

No Pruning, Please!

2010-08-31T09:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my loving husband trimmed our bushes and hedges, knowing I wanted to work on the rose hedge. It's something I try to do every spring, but because of a teaching assignment, I didn't get it done. Now that it is fall, the rose hedge looks like this:

It looks full and had many beautiful antique and tea roses on it this last spring. But what happened as I began to clear out the grass and weeds was this (note the far right side of the hedge, behind the flowers):

What? You can't see anything? Exactly. There are a few stems coming up from the ground, but they are sparse and small. Because I failed to prune and care for them this spring and over the summer, they suffered atrophy. Their appearance was beautiful and they seemed to serve their purpose, but my negligence has affected their growth. Truthfully, I don't like pruning--as the one who trims, or as the one whom God prunes.

The physical work was a good reminder to me (once again!), of God's faithful, pruning work in my life. When I allow other things to grow up, in, and around my time and energies, I eventually rob myself of abundant life. I fail to grow and flourish the way I was designed. As the one who did the pruning, I can testify to cuts, blisters, and embedded thorns. The process is difficult, painful, and--in its immediacy--damaging to the plant. But until the air can circulate, the sun can penetrate, and the rain can nourish the base of the plant, it will die a slow (and undisturbed) life.

As we continue to faithfully serve where God has placed us, may we willingly submit to His gracious pruning and purifying work in our lives.

Deceptive Service

2010-08-30T05:41:00.001-05:00

Matthew 7 Verse 21: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in Your name, and in Your name cast our demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’”

Observation: The important piece that perhaps I am seeing more and more is that the one who enters heaven did the will of the Father. The others did good things, amazing things, but their eyes were on what they accomplished in His name—not what He accomplished through their service. They were still the center of the story, even though they did the things they thought God would want them to do.

Application: Knowing and doing the will of God is just that—doing God’s will, not my own. My basis for doing things has so often been based on other people, or perhaps what I thought would please God—even that is a self-focus. There is a pay-off in doing what pleases others, even if it’s not what God wants me to do. And to do what I think pleases God puts me in the judge’s seat of deciding what God wants. It would be better to simply submit myself to His Word and do what I know to be right, to respond to not getting my way with submission and contentment (even if my way seemed right), to be the aroma of Christ to God—an aroma of humility and sacrificial service apart from what anyone else would say or do. May today be a day of simply “doing the will of My Father.”

Wholly Consecrated

2010-08-15T07:28:00.001-05:00

This morning as my back hurts, my muscles are sore, and my body is dragging I am reflecting on the ministry that made it all possible. We hosted our 9th (or 10th?) International Give Away yesterday--providing free furniture and household items to new international students at the University of Iowa. I don't know any of the numbers yet--how many students came (my guess is around 140--new update: 169!), how much furniture was provided, how many volunteers were at work (again, my guess is around 100).

What I do know is that students who have been sleeping on the floor, eating on the floor, using Styrofoam containers, etc. now have bedding, dishes, tables, beds, dressers, couches--all directly from the hand of God who loves them. The God who moves people and circumstances according to His will.

As I sat in prayer, this quote came to mind, "“The world has not yet seen what God will do through the life of one man who is wholly consecrated to Him.” And this morning I realized that the world has not seen, nor will see that man (or woman) because God, in His greatness, guards His own in humility. The church yard and streets of Iowa City were full of men, women, teens, and children who were wholly consecrated. There was no name, no individual, no agenda apart from Jesus. Jesus serving the multitude out of compassion. Jesus moving the hands, feet, and hearts of His Body.

Biblically, we cannot be, nor will ever be, wholly consecrated apart from the working of the Holy Spirit.
But I have seen the result of consecration--and I have learned this: The one who is wholly consecrated to God will not draw attention to himself or tout his wisdom or ability. He will diligently serve the Lord in serving others. He may not be seen or recognized. He may not be acknowledged or rewarded. But the Lord God, in His grace, will bless such a one with peace, joy, and contentment unknown to the world. After all, the fruit of the Spirit fills the giver before it is given (Gal. 5:22-23).

Where some would count success in the number of international students who adopt our church as their own, or become involved in Bible studies, or come to a saving faith in Jesus as a result of our efforts, we can simply say, "We are blessed." Yes, we continue to follow-up with student contacts, to pray, to seek opportunities to minister--as conversational English partners, through Bible studies, and continued offers of aid. But the light shines, not because the world is dark, but because there is a Light. As the Light penetrates darkness, it is not lessened or enlarged because of the darkness. It is. As God uses His people to extend Himself to a lost world, His essence is not affected by their acceptance or rejection. He is. And because He is, we are. We are...blessed...praying...depending...available...working...living.

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
"Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. " (1 Peter 4:10-11).

Communion Bread Recipe

2010-08-01T15:16:00.000-05:00

If you are serving the Body of Christ, you may have the opportunity to provide communion bread. This recipe was passed on when, as a young mom, I was elected to a women's ministry board. The woman who fostered the recipe was one of my mentors in high school, so this particular recipe has both sentimental and practical value. We celebrate communion on Sunday evenings and this recipe can be easily made that same afternoon.

May God be glorified through the service of His saints.

Sift together:

2 c. Flour

1/2 tsp. Cream of tartar

1/2 tsp. Salt

3 tsp. Sugar

Cut in:

1/2 c. Shortening

Slowly add:

2/3 c. Milk

1 Egg

Stir briefly to a stiff dough. Knead 5 times on lightly floured surface. Roll into a ball and divide in half. Roll one half of dough to fit cookie sheet (1/4" thick). Fold and transfer to greased cookie sheet. Poke entire surface with fork. Bake at 450 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. Roll and transfer remaining dough, poking with a fork before placing in the oven.

Remove bread from oven and cut immediately into thin strips from both directions. Discard corner and other uneven pieces. Bread can be refrigerated or frozen. Makes approximately 300 pieces. (This recipe was passed on by Helen Lange.)

Lessons from a Bathroom Stall

2010-07-24T10:25:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like a waste receptacle? Like a dumping ground for everyone else's problems? Are there times you wanted to look that other person in the eye and say, "Do you realize I have my own problems to deal with here?" then proceed to spew forth your own life issues?

Our family was on a week's vacation at camp, using a common bathhouse, when the following insights came to mind:
1) I consistently used the stall with the open door. The door that was ajar was welcoming and available. It seemed to say, "Come on in!"
2) I only used clean vessels. I didn't want to expose myself to unpleasantness or possible illness.
3) I only used available vessels. If a stall was in use or the door was locked, I simply moved on until I found a clean, available one.
4) The vessel did not keep the refuse, but got rid of it and flushed it away.

How does this apply to ministering to others? "Now all these things [faith, love, the new nature] are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." (2 Corinthians 5:18-21).

When we are ambassadors of Christ, we are often receptacles for the refuse of others. They bring their burdens, their cares, their sin, their worries and pour them into our lives. We could very easily get weighed down and become useless. But we are not the solution to their problems, we cannot fix anything. We can, however, follow the bathhouse principles in this ministry of reconciliation:
1) Keep the door of your life open to others. When you are welcoming and inviting, others will come to you with their difficulties (2 Corinthians 6:1-10).
2) Be a clean vessel. Keep yourself free from sin in deed and in conscience. Do not hold onto the sin of others and allow bitterness to creep in (Hebrews 9:13-14, Hebrews 12:15).
3) Be available to others. This is similar to the first, but realize this--that tightly entwining yourself with friends makes you unavailable to others. God desires us to live a balanced life (examine the life of Christ).
4) Your job is not to keep the refuse, but be a vessel that channels it to where it ultimately belongs (Jude 20-25).

Who would have thought--lessons from a bathroom stall?

Pharisee Recycling Center

2010-06-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

From Pharisee to un-Pharisee—is there a place for recycled Pharisees? As a church child, “Pharisee” was a bad word (‘Cause a Pharisee’s not fair, you see?). But I have come to a newer, deeper awareness of the people-pleasing, want-to-do-it-right, want-to-do-it-my-way, of the Jewish political group known as the Pharisees.
Perhaps the most well-known Pharisee in the Christian world is the Apostle Paul. As an adult, he left the pretense of obedience, he was called out from the outward living of the law. In his conversion, He saw the Lord and was taught by God Himself what it meant to live as an un-Pharisee. (But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus. Gal. 1:15-17). The re-learning did not happen overnight. It took three years. And it took three years apart from those who would pervert the teaching, apart from those he would seek to please, apart from those who would stand in judgement of his new understanding.
Paul’s whole struggle with Pharisee-ism hinged on pleasing others. It hinged on doing what he did because others were watching, others were measuring, others were talking, others were distributing power and opportunity. But now, apart from what others saw or thought or did, Paul was free to live the gospel, to speak the gospel, to solicit on behalf of the gospel.
After reading the book, Pleasing People, by Lou Priolo, my whole world was set on end. Through the revelation of the Word, the Holy Spirit convicted me that many, so many, of my behaviors were dependent on the praise of man. In fact, much of life in the church today--the reason many Christians seek to be “nice” people--is for the personal benefit to self. This benefit comes in the form of positive strokes, compliments, reciprocal treatment, and additional opportunities.
Think about it. If, on Sunday morning you go out of your way to hold the door for the elderly, handicapped, and small children will you not receive many kind words and gestures? Perhaps someone might even take an extra glance and comment on your behavior to others. Before long, the pastor will approach you and recommend you for a position as a greeter or usher. You have begun to climb the rungs of church acceptance. You find yourself steaming and polishing your invisible I-am-someone-important button.
So after feeling the weight of conviction about my own desire to please others over and above pleasing God, I confessed my sin and prayed for repentance. Quite honestly, I do not like to repent. I do not often want to repent. But repentance is God’s big prerequisite. There is nothing left to do but ask. “Please, Lord, give me a heart of repentance. I want to keep pleasing myself. I want to keep doing what is comfortable and easy. I don’t want me to change, but You do.” And, even now, as I write, I find myself struggling with the desire to please you—the reader—rather than God Himself.
As a result, in the spirit of repentance, when I come to a door at church I stop and ask, “Is there someone I can love by holding this door?” Instead of asking, “Who will see me hold the door? Maybe it will be someone new… maybe it will be someone important….maybe the pastor (or deacon or elder) will walk by and see my holding the door….” And in living in Pharisee awareness I have discovered the opposite of Pharisee-ism. Un-Pharisee-ism says, “I don’t want to love that person. And, if I cannot love in sincerity, I will not serve at all.” Slam. Boom.
After struggling three years with my desire to please others, I find myself wondering if there should be a return to Pharisee behavior? I feel stuck in a no-man’s land of not pleasing others because I do not want to be a slave to the law. But when I do not live to please others, the magnet to please self pulls much more strongly and I find that selfishness and sin seem to increase. The struggle has become stronger, the desire to please self has morphed. It justifies itself because I am avoiding the pleasing-others pattern I have lived for so long. In the pain of putting myself ahead of others, I wonder if perhaps it would be better to return to simply “doing what is right” no matter what? Thank God for Paul’s continued argument in favor of grace. ("If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners, does that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! If I rebuild what I destroyed, I prove that I am a lawbreaker. For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Gal. 2:17-21).
In other words, no, there is no place for living by law (pleasing God and others through my deeds) on one hand and living by grace (realizing that God is the only One who pleases Himself, and I am fully depending on Jesus Christ for that work) on the other hand.
As I continue to skim Paul’s letter to the Galatians, I see repeated descriptions of children—and with the descriptions comes peace and comfort. He cites one child who is born under law and another who is born under grace. There is a child born under obligation and another born under promise. In each case, the child is born (duh!—or, more nicely said, “Think about it.”). A child that has just been born is a baby. It is not a fully functioning adult until it achieves that status through time and experience. In the same way, as a newly born un-Pharisee, I am re-learning the ropes of grace. Up to this point, I have lived a life of faith as it was revealed to me and understood through God’s Word, by His Spirit—fruitful, productive, loving and serving, but with a hidden component. Now I am learning a deeper, less-me, way to live by faith. It is as if God removed His hand from the bottom of my bicycle seat. He is running beside me, enabling and equipping me, but there is a very real sense of imbalance and fear and anxiety as I peddle down the road. I have been recycled.
As I wobble and swerve, I hear His voice, “This is the way, walk in it. I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” And I respond, “ The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” (Isaiah 20:31, Hebrews 13:5-6).

Manhattan

2010-06-16T22:23:00.001-05:00

We left New York City at the end of a 9-day East Coast family adventure. As we drove past Central Park this morning, I couldn't help but remember our treks from one side to the other: children laid out on rock outcrops, a dreaded flip-flop failure in the rambles.

Now, as we whizzed past storefronts, transfer stations, and landmarks we had passed on foot—holding hands, singing, Miss-Mary-Mack-ing—there, right there, in the quietness of reflection, was the Lord. He wouldn't show up on film (regular or digital), but He had been there. In each step, each moment, each delay, each uncertainty, He was there. He was closer, in fact, than the familiar presence of those who walked, ate, slept, and breathed those same new experiences. Our family had been away from our regular routine, apart from the anchors of everyday activities and the daily reminders of His presence—and He had been there, too.

With each passing block I found myself reliving and remembering our vacation, reminded of His presence. Being with one another 24-7 for 9 days is a bit intense (the 4-children-included variety). And, as much as I know God is there, the moments traveled at a speed quite their own. But now, communing through the streets of Manhattan I discovered the sense of belonging because God was there. And God is home.

As I opened the memories of each day, a woman's face came to the surface. She sat on a cement step, eating lunch. Our eyes met. Her countenance typified the Manhattan attitude, a confidence and self-awareness that said “I am here. I am myself. It is enough.” And in that moment, this morning, surrounded by the silent eagerness of returning home with those I love most, the Lord reminded me once again of His sufficient presence—independent of the people or the place. With my heart on its knees, I saw the pride of humanity in my own heart, cringed at the shining rebellion in my own eyes. In its place was the small cry, "Lord, here I am. You have given all that I have. You are enough."

He is the friend that stays closer than a brother. He is. And that is truly enough.

If you do not have a closer, deeper relationship with Creator God than with those around you, be challenged to check out this website: http://www.needhim.org/

(With a special thanks to Pastor Carter Conlon and those who ministered through Time Square Church with the message "Jesus Cares," June 13, 2010).

This Cracked Pot

2010-05-22T10:59:00.002-05:00

If I were to be unfashionably transparent, I would admit that I have struggled with bitterness and resentment lately. There was an opportunity for gratitude and appreciation, and it never came. There was a place for public recognition or an expression of thanks. It never happened. Instead, after weeks of feeling set up, laughed at, made fun of, criticized, taken advantage of, and extremely disrespected, I was overlooked. Taken for granted. I didn’t want to be the martyr, or feel the martyr—and at the time, I didn’t. But later on? Yeah. It was the afterward part that got to me.

“Well,” I muse, “that’s life….” And, that’s God. Not artificially or sarcastically. Sincerely. In reading and studying 1 & 2 Chronicles, God’s hand in King David’s life was so evident. There were times he was overlooked and taken for granted, even despised, by King Saul. There were moments of victory and praise. There were times he sought God and times he disobeyed. In every moment, every circumstance, the purpose and hand of God moved the hearts of men to accomplish His will. What a tremendous testimony of life!

Then, this morning, as I read in 2 Corinthians, I was encouraged by this passage and thought:
“For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves” (2 Corinthians 4: 6-7).

What I have, say, and do that glorifies God is the result of His grace and glory in my life. My life, in and of itself—this body, this shell—is simply a vessel intended to carry and bear the life of Christ. When that is what I am doing, I am accomplishing the purpose God has for me. It is not in the accomplishments of life or the platitudes of men that I meet my potential (though it would seem that way and many others would believe it). I do not deserve praise or appreciation or gratitude. When I look at Christ's example, I am ashamed and humbled to think I felt an entitlement that never existed.

My goal and aim is to bear Jesus Christ in this body, in these circumstances, at this point in time, to those who surround me. Sometimes it means death—affliction, perplexity, persecution, being struck down or forsaken. But even in death there is victory, for these moments of pain and confusion are working to bring an eternal result. There is an inner renewing day after day after day, despite the circumstances. There is an eternal weight affixed to each small victory in which the outcome is not my physical, emotional, or mental improvement, but a representation of Christ in that moment, toward a specific individual or circumstance. This is life as it should be.

As those thoughts of sadness or disappointment come in waves, I am choosing to set them aside and step forward asking, “Was Christ reflected in that moment?” If the answer is yes, the goal has been met. Today is a new moment to show Christ through the cracks of this earthen vessel.

GateKeeper

2010-05-10T05:25:00.000-05:00

Monday, May 10, 2010 1 Chronicles 26
Verse 6: they were mighty men of valor
Verse 8: they were able men with strength for the service
Verse 9: valiant men
Verse 12: To these divisions of the gatekeepers, the chief men, were given duties like their relatives to minister in the house of the LORD.
Verse 16: Guard corresponded to guard.
Impression: The job of gatekeeper was not for sissies. God used specific men to guard the gates of the city, to open and close the gates, to oversee that which went out and that which came in. They were men of valor and strength whose job was understood in their ministry to the LORD. Should I view the importance of my soul any less? Or this body which is the temple of the Spirit? To guard against outside forces, to overcome self, to open and close the gates of my heart is not a job for a sissy. If I choose to sit back and let enter what will, I have failed to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.) If I choose to “be myself” and give in to every thought and desire, I have broken down the walls of my heart (Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control).
God is the One who gives valor, strength, and ability. He is the One who ultimately oversees the gates of my heart, but I must submit to His Spirit and His working in my life to benefit from His guardianship. How? By conscious choice and open request. With a soft heart and a determination of will, dependence on God becomes a lifeline that overcomes the dangers of laziness, procrastination, permissiveness, the desire to exalt self and please others.
(Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.)

The Cost of Forgiveness

2010-04-05T07:18:00.000-05:00

Forgiveness. Yesterday was Easter and my reflections fell on it. It is not a frightening word. It is not a negative word. On one hand it's expected. On the other, it's... impossible. Forgiveness is the act of moving beyond an offense, intentional or otherwise. Neither side of forgiveness is pleasant. The one who has offended must accept it with humility, with lowliness and meekness. The one who offers forgiveness does so at a cost.

God has been teaching me the cost of forgiveness and I am learning a greater sense of awe and reverence for who He is. I have discovered that forgiving others means that, although they were wrong, I bear their offense. If I was slandered by another, I bear the price of their slander. I am the one that was defamed. But in forgiveness, the price is not laid on the one who initiated the crime. It weighs on the one who was wronged, the one who forgives.

To forgive is to relinquish the expectation of reconciliation or retribution*, although that may come. To forgive is to simply live on apart from the offense. It is so very impossible. My mind recalls words, details, memories and I must put them to rest. I must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I must choose not to dwell on, or remember, those details, by the grace of God. Apart from the working of God Himself, this is humanly impossible.

This is the forgiveness of God. This is the picture of Christ's death, His substitutionary death for me--that He took on Himself my sin, my wickedness, my death, and I pay nothing. God does not expect me to make it right. I cannot. He does not expect me to pay Him back. I cannot. In His forgiveness, He indwells me and enables me to "simply live on apart from the offense."

The other amazing thing I've learned in practicing forgiveness is that God has already given us an antidote for relieving the pain. Five times the writers of the gospels quote Jesus saying, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39, 16, 25; Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, 17:33). In a voila moment, I realized that the hurtful moments that roll off my back are the ones I don't take personally. Jesus was not only speaking of finding life after death, but of the eternal life we can experience in the here and now. I can experience the joy and peace of God when my life is not my own. In those moments that my life is lived for Christ and not for myself, the offense is not mine, it is His. Not only is the offense not realized at the time, the pain of forgiveness is nil. It is not mine to forgive, it is God's and He has already given it.

To walk in the Spirit is to walk with an eye ever on the Savior, with a heart bent to His will, with an ear listening to His voice. To forgive is to rely on God to faithfully prune those areas of my life that I hold too dearly, and cling to those that will draw me closer to His side.

* I may be wrong, but I believe God's forgiveness is free of reconciliation--Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the cross. But reconciliation is the only way to experience a living relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The forgiveness is available, but must be received in order to restore the relationship. Through Christ I can forgive someone apart from a restored relationship.

The How

2010-03-02T08:17:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I blew it. I gave in to eating more than I should, to eating more of the comfort foods than I should. Just simply gave in. You might say I had good reason if I unloaded my excuses, but in my heart, I know excuses don't count. Reality does.

How encouraging then, this morning, to realign myself and agree with God about my failure. I need His forgiveness and help. If you will allow me, I will open my daily reading journal for you to read. Perhaps it will be a comfort and encouragement to you, too.

March 2, 2010 Romans 9:1-16
Verse 16: So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.

Impression: There is no “me” in salvation—it is all about God. If this is true, even my sanctification—and certainly my glorification—is an act of God. How can one part be my choice, my will, my decision, my doing, but not the other parts? I know I cannot resurrect this body and replace it with a glorified one. How much more will I take credit for my salvation (WHO died and paid for my sin? Certainly not me.)? How much more will I take credit for my sanctification (“for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure)? So, then, it is God who does the work.

Will I submit myself to His will and ways today? He is so much more able, more capable, more invested in this fleeting, minimal life of mine than I am. How could I trust myself to know where to go, what to do, what is best? How much wiser to entrust it to the One who knows all, does all, enables all and is all loving, all just…. Simply trust and obey. Now. Today.

Free Stuff!

2010-02-19T06:07:00.001-06:00

A few years ago I was visiting with a little boy from China. His father was an international student and his family lived a simple life here in America. When I told him that his faith in Jesus meant he would spend forever in heaven with God he asked, "Is there any free stuff there?" "It's ALL free!" I answered. "And it's better than anything you'll ever see on earth!"

It's been awhile--allow me to share today's thoughts from my personal time in the book of Romans. The freedom of heaven will comes later, but even today we can be free from our guilt and sin.

February 18, 2010
Romans 3:21-31
Verse 24, 27: “being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus…. Where then is boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith.”

Impression: When will this stubborn pride and fleshly mind of mine accept the fact that there is nothing I have or can do to bring about my justification (a right legal standing before God—not guilty)?! It is God who justifies. It is God who gave justification as a gift. According to verses 25-26, the death of Christ was a demonstration of the righteousness of God. It revealed the wickedness of man and the price required to redeem man from death. God, in His goodness and grace, allows me to come to Him on the basis of faith. Simple faith. No works will accomplish His righteousness: not penance, not baptism, not attendance, not heritage, not commitments, not sacrifice, not self-recrimination, not guilt, not self-adulation. The only way to gain a “not guilty” status before Almighty God is by simple, resting faith in Jesus as the One who bore my sin.
And He doesn’t just cover my sin now, today. Verse 25 says that God, in the forebearance of His righteousness, passed over the sins previously committed. What generosity! He doesn’t forgive me from this point forward—He forgives me from this point backward and into this present time—the now of today. And tomorrow, this will be the present time (now) and the previously committed sins will be forgiven then. And the next day, previously committed sins will be forgiven along with the present sins… and on, and on.
“For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law” (verse 28).

The Prayer of Silence

2010-01-20T07:38:00.000-06:00

My life is so full of myself that my prayers are full of words. "Thank You, God, for.... I praise You because You are.... Please work in this situation....." In all, my prayer life is not characterized as a time of waiting. I will not pretend to say that I sit and wait on the Lord in a literal sense.
Waiting for His answer to prayer, waiting for Him to intervene in a situation—yes, I am learning to wait for Him in this way. But to be silent before Him just because He is….that is something I have not mastered—or even really thought about. To simply sit (or prostrate myself) in silence—silence of thought, silence of word—content with His Lordship—shows a sense of humility. Of smallness. Of service. To simply “be” while God “is.” This, too, is worship.

Zechariah 2:13 Be silent, all flesh, before the LORD; for He is aroused from His holy habitation.

We Interrupt Your Life For This Important Announcement

2010-01-12T11:35:00.004-06:00

Yesterday God interrupted my life. Again. His interruptions are always sovereign, always loving, always good; not always--pleasant. Unlike some interruptions, yesterday's involved a broken waterpipe and a flooded basement. Despite the damage and loss, we experienced an unreal sense of contentment and peace.

There was no worry or anxiety, no impatience, no unkind word. It was a work of the Lord. There was a job to do. Its cause was irrelevant at the time. What a heart quenching experience to work dilligently alongside one another simply doing what needed to be done. David ripped out the ruined drywall while I prepped the trail we would make up the stairs, through the living room, kitchen, and laundry room. While he cut and bagged wet carpet and matting, I manuevered the truck for easier loading.

As we surveyed the empty, open room at the end of our haul, we congratulated each other on a job well done. True, by the end of the day I was a little testy under the weight of all that needed to be done and had been put on hold. But it was a blessed day.

My take-away? What thoughts and attitudes do I need to change to experience the same kind of peace and joy in the other interruptions of life? What made today different? Perhaps it was simply the acknowledgement that God knew. God knew the demands on my life. God knew the outcome of just such an interruption. God knew the blessings of working side by side and making plans for a new, improved basement.

Even now, God knows the demands on your life. He knows the outcome of each interruption that comes your way. He knows the blessings that lie in store. He knows how today's interruption will redirect your life to a new, improved relationship with Himself.

How has God used today's interruptions in your life?

"The mind of man plans his way,But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

The Stable of My Heart

2009-12-16T05:52:00.004-06:00

As I listened to the radio yesterday, I was struck by the thought that God’s place of dwelling, of alighting, has not changed since Jesus came to the stable. He chooses to live in my heart—what a humble, loving Savior! To choose to dwell in a place of stinky selfishness, rough-hewn (mortal) structure, surrounded by the limits and busyness and fallibility of humankind. But He stays here. He’s at work here. He is glorified here. In the stable of my heart.
God, forgive me for trying to “fix it up” when all I should be doing is kneeling at your feet. To have Your presence is glory. Anything I might add would simply distract from and desecrate the “being” of Your presence. Help me to rest. To worship. To be still and know that You are God.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

Parade of Homes

2009-11-22T06:10:00.004-06:00

Do you enjoy glimpses of people in their homes lit by evening light? I do. Home decor and layouts fascinate me. There is something comforting and intriguing about seeing others move and work in an environment so much the same as--but different than--my own. A private confession: I love our home.

As a SAHM, I spend a lot of time here. We used to move often. To make resale easier, every room was painted the same color. All the carpet was the same. We were ready to sell at a moment's notice. Until we moved twelve years ago. Now we hope to stay. Not too long ago my husband stood in the dining room, looking at the rooms on either side of him, and had an epiphany. "Hey," he called, "have you ever noticed that none of our rooms look the same?" "Yes, Dear," I answered, "I planned it that way."

Of the time I spend at home, some of it is spent cleaning, dusting, decorating, and doing basic home-maintenance. Most of the time, however, I am simply doing other tasks and enjoying my surroundings because they are comfortable, they are mine and, honestly, because I delight in them. They fit my taste.

Perhaps abiding in Christ is much the same. To abide in Christ and His commands is to study them, know them. Then to arrange them in my life where they belong; to polish and straighten them. But most of the time, I simply live out the tasks of life, enjoying the blessings and the comfort of His commands. They have become the structure within which I move. They are chairs in which I rest. There is a kitchen from which I serve and meet the needs of others. In the living room I relax or spend time with others, getting to know them and sharing from the abundance God has given me.

If, however, I were to view the teachings of Christ as harsh, rustic, and rigid, I don't think I would enjoy my domicile at all. My life with Christ would be sparsely furnished. I might simply have a one-room soddie with a stiff, uncomfortable chair and faded linens. As I sat in my chair, my back would be ramrod straight, my feet planted firmly on the floor. Yet, when I would visit the homes of others, they might tell me of the authentic one-of-kind memento they recently acquired in their walk with Christ. I would be jealous. Angry. How could they have such beautiful objet d'art while my life was one of barrenness and self-pity?

May I suggest that the God of both homes is the same? The teachings of Christ are the same. “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:3).

It is my perception of and response to God that makes the difference. It is the moving of His Spirit that brings life and freedom. When I submit to His Spirit, and take God at His Word, I find that He is loving...good...kind...gentle... patient...lavishing good things, beautiful things, on His children. Perhaps you, too, have found that the artifacts in an exquisitely decorated home are often reminders of great pain and loss. The stained glass window may represent the provision and sufficiency of God after the loss of a child. The dried flowers in the hand-blown vase may be a reminder of a gift given at a time of financial hardship.

The difference? The one who lives with a good God, who submits to His will and way, relying on Him, finds a beauty, solace, and comfort that can be found no where else. The one who views God and His commands as burdensome and weighty captures only the fleeting treasures the world has to offer while her heart stores up criticism, resentment, bitterness. Life is hard. Life lacks comfort. Life lacks refinement and grace.

Today, where am I living? What does my abode look like? Am I using it and enjoying it in a way that honors and pleases God? Am I sharing it with others--even sending them out the door with gifts and reminders of the grace of God? Am I abiding in the teachings of Christ? (2 John 9).

When the I Am Says There You Are

2009-11-21T06:54:00.003-06:00

Have you ever had one of those incredible realizations that the thing you've struggled with for months, even years, has a name? And, suddenly, without Hollywood music or drama, the name creeps into your thoughts. It swirls around until it makes its way to your tongue and you speak it aloud. And now, now that your ears have heard what your heart has spoken, there is a sense of freedom even though nothing, nothing at all, has changed.

I had one of those moments the other day. In keeping up the suspense--which I'm afraid will be utterly shattered once I tell you my secret--it is something that has followed me for decades. I remember where I was when I confessed this struggle to God during a half-day of personal prayer and retreat, but I didn't have a name. I didn't know what it was or why it was, only that it accompanied me day in and day out, haunting my thoughts, affecting my words and actions.

Now it has a name and I can begin to address the heart issue (although I am confident it will be with me until the moment I die). The name my heart whispered to my mind as I stood under cascading water in the shower was, "here I am." As I grabbed a towel, heart pounding, brain whirring, I whispered, "here I am." That's it. As I said earlier, you are probably disappointed in the revelation of my earth-shattering pronouncement. But you don't understand. "Here I am" had become my daily, hourly cry.

When my prayer request was overlooked, my voiceless cry echoed, "here I am." When my husband worked overtime in the fields, my muted actions called, "here I am." When my children complained and whined about the unfairness of life, I wanted to respond, "here I am." But I didn't know how. I didn't understand my frustration, my anger, my resentment or bitterness.

Now that it has a name, God has stepped in. God has whispered, "There you are." With all that He has and is, He daily ministers, "there you are." When the people and things in life disappoint, His Spirit speaks, "I am here."

In His gracious, abundant, sacrificial gift of His Son, I see the sin--the pride and arrogance--of my heart. As His child, the one He has redeemed, the one who is in Christ, I am now called to be a "there you are" person as well. In my sinfulness, life is all about me: my prayer request, my husband, my children. Do you see it? But when I have encountered the "I AM," all claims of "here I am" are nullified. The request has been met. It is satisfied. My continuous cry is no longer justified. I have been seen. I have been heard. I have been ministered to. I am complete.

So now, as my 8-year-old daughter awakens and sits on my lap while I write, I can respond, "there you are." I can put aside my agenda, my importance, and focus on others.

A friend reminded me this last week that when I open myself to the grace of God, I am able to extend that grace to others. If all I experience is the judgement and condemnation of God, that is all I have to give others. What is your relationship with God? Are you drinking in and meditating on the fact that He is? Are you delighting in the love He has for you? Are you relishing the "there you are" He would shower upon you? Or are you wallowing in the "here I am's" of life?

"He who confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgement; because as He is, so also are we in this world." (1 John 4:15-17)

Rebellious Faith

2009-11-01T06:29:00.003-06:00

My heart was pounding. Each breath echoed in my ears, throbbing with each pulse. My parents voice called from far away; nearer, then further. As I hid in the rocks with my brother and cousins, my heart twisted with guilt. The plan was to go to Mt. Rushmore and watch the evening film. We had decided not to go, so we would not be found. Our parents, of course, wouldn't leave us behind and eventually we came out of hiding.

As I read the story of Jonah this week, I was reminded of that willful disobedience; of the heart that pounds with terror in its rebellion. Jonah disobeyed because he believed God. In his own words, "I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity" (4:2). It was Jonah's faith in God's mercy that caused him to disobey.

As I thought about Jonah's disobedience ("he rose up to flee...from the presence of the LORD" (1:3 (2 times!), 1:10), I was questioned my own reaction to God's commands. When, through the voice of a Bible teacher, a friend, or God's Word, I hear the voice of God, how do I respond? The worst case scenario would be apathy; not to respond at all. Jonah's rebellion--a selfish, sinful response--at least carried an element of faith. He knew God, he believed God, and wanted no part of it.

How often do we fail to respond because we really don't know God, we really don't believe God, we really don't care? That is ever so much more frightening. That, I believe, is a sign of spiritual death. We cannot process the word of God, we cannot respond to the word of God, because there is no Spirit of God to empower His word. Much like an electric circuit, without a conductor (Jesus Christ, "abide in me and I in you" (John 15:4), we cannot respond to God. We are dead (Ephesians 2:5, "we were dead in our transgressions") outside of repentance and a relationship with God.

If you find that you are drawn to God, but do not know Him personally, check out the post on this site from April 2008, "How Much is Too Much?" And, if you find yourself fleeing from the presence of the LORD today, consider the God from whom you are fleeing. What is it you believe about Him? Search out the Scriptures on your own or with a trusted friend and find that Good Shepherd who longs to give you abundant life. After all, He is "...a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity" (4:2).
Consider your

A Building Set Apart

2009-10-05T08:25:00.004-05:00

Each Christian life is a building; a work in progress. Someday we will see the finished product built on Jesus Christ, the foundation. Most of us would agree that it is by faith in the completed work of Christ, apart from personal effort, that we enter the kingdom of God (Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5). But then, once we arrive, there will be a day of testing--and until reading the passage in 1 Corinthians again today, I have misunderstood this whole concept! You may read this entry and wonder at my ignorance. But perhaps you, like me, have had the same understanding. Or, I may simply be wrong. Please comment as you are led.

I have always interpreted this passage as how I build/invest my own life based on the foundation of Jesus Christ. I assumed that the materials that would be tested were the result of my doing, my works--that the gold, silver, and precious stones were those things I accomplished through faith and dependence on God by His Spirit; that the layers in my life were the result of my actions and choices.

What Paul is saying here, though, is that others build on our lives. Paul refers to himself as a builder in the lives of others (1 Corinthians 3:9-10) and he is holding all builders accountable to One greater than himself. As I think back over the builders in my life that have laid upon the foundation of Christ--pastors Landis Epp, Roy Kooshian, Dan Wurzel, John Sauser, Tim Waldron--each one has invested in my life, each one has opened the Word of God and spoken truth. And on that day when my life is tested by fire, the quality of their work will be revealed and each of them will receive a reward for his work (v. 13-14). So it is the building, the influence, the teaching invested in others that is the work which will be tested, not my own “work” on/in myself. This lends a very different light to life.

It make me more aware of the words I speak into the lives of others—are they truly God-honoring and intended for edification (Ephesians 4:29). If they are self-motivated or self-glorifying, they will be revealed by fire as wood, hay, or straw. If the words I speak into the lives of others build them up according to their needs and glorify God, they will be revealed by fire as gold, silver, and precious stones.

If this interpretation is true (and it appears to be, given the context), then each of us has the opportunity to build on the lives of others, and our work will be tested as well. As I speak truth and love to others, I am building on the foundation of Christ in their lives. Those words and actions will not be built on my life, but on theirs--and it is by their life that I will lose or receive my reward. Oh, what weight that places on my words and actions. How that takes the focus off of me, myself, and places it on God and others!

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, bu only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29).

A Heart of Stone

2009-09-28T22:22:00.002-05:00

There was weeping. I could hear the broken, stifled sobs; the high pitched hiccuping sound that mewed from the back of the sanctuary in waves. As I sat quietly during the communion service, head bowed in prayer, my heart tightened and air froze in my lungs. More than Scripture, this humble response to Jesus' beating, crucifixion, and death restrained me. I found myself asking how many times I had heard the same verses, even read the same verses aloud, and remained unmoved. And now, here was one so torn, so distressed, so in love with the Savior that her sobs could not be contained.

In the book, Revolution in World Missions, David Mains describes a recent working of the Holy Spirit in India this way, "It would hardly have been different...had Jesus Himself been bodily among us. The spirit of worship filled the hall. The singing was electrifying. The power of the Holy Spirit came upon the audience. Men actually groaned aloud. I have read of such conviction in early American history during times like the two Great Awakenings, but I had never anticipated experiencing it firsthand."

It was John Owen who wrote, "Let faith look on Christ in the gospel as he is set forth dying and crucified for us. Look on him under the weight of our sins, praying, bleeding, dying: bring him in that condition into the heart by faith; apply his blood so shed to thy corruptions; do this daily....A mind filled with the love of Christ crucified...will be changed into its image and likeness, by the effectual mortification of sin...." (A Quest for Godliness, J.I. Packer, p. 200-201).

As I look on my sin, my weakness, my failure, I come exposed, realizing how seldom I am broken at the foot at the cross. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me;" "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Luke 10:23, Matthew 11:30).

A Passionate God, A Passionless People

2009-09-18T08:10:00.005-05:00

In place of the usual tete-a-tete, I've decided to simply cut and paste from my daily Bible reading--not to be "spiritual," but because of its lasting value.

Friday, September 18, 2009 Deut. 28:49-68
Verse 15, 63: But it shall come about, if you do not obey the LORD your God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statues with which I charge you today….It shall come about that as the LORD delighted over you to prosper you, and multiply you, so the LORD will delight over you to make you perish and destroy you; and you will be torn from the land where you are entering to possess it.

In my life today: God is a God of passion. When He blesses us, He does so grandly—but only as it meets His primary desire to transform us. When He curses us, He does so perfectly—and there is no room for questioning His design or plan. He does what He does completely. In writing this, I realize that I have come to appreciate the capricious nature of man. I count on it—often believing that in the inconsistency of others, I will get a break. I will not be held totally accountable for my actions because there is “wiggle room.” There is no “wiggle room” with God. Either we are saved by His grace or we are not. To be the recipient of God’s grace is to be free from condemnation and wrath; to be ever and always under His watchful, protecting, discipling Hand. To be apart from His grace is eternal death, separation, wrath, torture.

Why do we refuse to see the world through spiritual eyes? God has given us all we need for life and godliness, but we don’t want to look. We squeeze our eyes shut and try to stumble ahead—waiting for Him to whack us one direction or the other, failing to acknowledge the many who are perishing. To see God….to know Him more fully…to understand the brevity and immediacy of this earthly existence…. To live with His eyes, today. Even for a moment…would change my life…and perhaps the life of another…forever.

Spiritual Sunscreen

2009-09-03T07:52:00.003-05:00

It's been a cool summer. Too cool, in fact, for our kids' pool to heat up adequately. Too cool for sunburns. But we're not complaining. The sun's been out and it's been more comfortable outside than most summers, so we've enjoyed it. Now that everyone is back at school, we've set the sunscreen aside until next year.

In the book, Changed into His Image, Jim Berg likens God's Word to the sun's exposure. The more we expose ourselves to the Word of God, the more evident it becomes to others--and ourselves. If we are not seeing the change in our lives that we know God is working, we need more exposure, more "time in the sun." I like the analogy and think it can be carried even to the "tan lines" of our lives--those areas we choose not to expose to God's light.

But the thing I've been thinking about lately is the spiritual sunscreen that keeps me from absorbing the light of God's Word. Spiritual sunscreen diminishes the effect of God's Word in my life. Spiritual sunscreen produces the same appearance in my life as that of unbelievers--who have little or no exposure to God and His Word at all. I am not saying that God is ineffective in His work, ways, or Word. What I am saying is that we often fail to see how we inhibit God's working in our lives. And spiritual sunscreen is? Pride.

When I protect myself from the conviction of God's Word with slippery justification or anchored excuses or wimpy admissions, I cover myself--even while experiencing open exposure--and minimize God's intended effect. It is only when I come to God bare, uncovered, unsheltered, and vulnerable that His Word will sear me, even as Isaiah's lips were burned with the live coal. As I yield to His Word and the working of His Spirit, He will make Himself evident in my life. When God reveals His glory in my life, the expected result is humility and repentance--this is the outcome of exposure the the Light. This is the evidence of a God tan.

In exposing ourselves to the Word of God--in our personal lives, families' lives, and as a local church Body--may we take the time to strip off the sunscreen and allow the light of God to minister to our hearts and souls in an intimate, quiet, searing way. May others see beautifully coppered lives that reflect the glory of our God and Father, through His Son, Jesus Christ, and by His Spirit. It will be evident in brokenness, humility, servitude, and repentance. It's time to put away the sunscreen. How's your tan?

Rest Time

2009-07-25T07:20:00.003-05:00

We have just finished a week of vacation Bible school. As I write, I am surrounded by boxes of decorations and teaching supplies: bed sheets, shoe organizers, space rugs, cast iron pots with lids, the list goes on.... It seems with any task, there is preparation, execution, and resolution: i.e. collect the stuff, use the stuff, put away the stuff.

Jesus' life may not have been surrounded by stuff (in fact, when he sent out the disciples, they were told to take only a staff--imagine teaching VBS with only a staff (for some of us, that might be a blessing!)), but His life was more full of people and needs than any of our lives. In Mark chapter 6, Jesus sent out His disciples to preach (v. 12), and their return was met with news of John the Baptist's death. It was a heavy load. They were tired physically and spiritually, and now they were no doubt frightened and discouraged. "And He said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.'" (v. 31).

Jesus, of all people, recognized the need for seclusion and rest. He understood the demands his disciples had been shouldering. He knew the press of the people, the pain of John's death, and the prostration of weariness. There was nothing self-indulgent or wrong in separating themselves from the people and their ever-present needs. It was necessary and appropriate for the disciples to get away. It was a gift.

Two things strike me. The first is that it was a command couched in an invitation. He wanted to provide for the disciples and He knew their need. Was it any less important to obey Christ in rest than in work? To obey Christ is to do what He says, regardless of the task. Rest is a task. When He invites (or commands) me to rest, I have a choice--to rest or not to rest, to obey or to disobey--knowing there is always blessing in obedience.

The second thing, then, is the disciples' response. Unlike many of us, they didn't ignore Christ or argue with Him. They readily obeyed. How often, when we hear Christ's faint voice calling us from the busyness of life, do we argue with Him and justify pressing on? Could it be that we are striving to finish the work that He would have us leave behind? Could it be that we are more concerned with our own reputation than with His? Or could it be that we no longer hear Him because we failed to heed long ago and have hearts that are hardened past the point of sensitivity? Perhaps there is too much busyness to listen--or we choose the busyness because we are afraid of the thoughts that plague rest and how God will use the rest itself to transform us.

Rest when He calls. Trust His voice. The needs remain. They are not yours to meet--they belong to the Father. The demands may not lessen, but obedience to rest is the same as obedience to work. It has the same value. It is the same Lord, the same Master, who calls us to both.

The Essence of Grace

2009-06-14T06:25:00.003-05:00

My husband took early retirement this spring from an international company. The travel had become a point of stress for our family and God provided the means for him to farm full-time. As we have adjusted to a new lifestyle, there have been many points of giving where we we had not given before and taking in altered ways.

As I read the account of Ruth and Boaz once again, the pictures were much more vivid. I was more aware of the back-straining work it must have been to glean a wheat field by hand; of the danger Ruth would have subjected herself to as a new, single, foreign woman in a workplace dominated by men. Then, when Boaz extended himself to her that first day he offered himself for her protection and his means for her provision. "...and he served her roasted grain, and she ate and was satisfied and had some left."

The beauty of his generosity was the fullness of another word: grace. Grace is extended from the one who has much to the one who has less. Boaz served Ruth out of his much. She was satisfied, and there was more to spare. I was struck by the not so profound thought that to give grace, one must have more than what he/she needs. In other words, I can only extend grace to others when I have an excess. In this adjustment to a new life and a new routine, I can only extend patience and kindness when I have more than I need. Knowing my limitations, I will not have an excess until I am depending on God to meet my many areas of shortcoming. Only He can provide excessive patience, excessive lovingkindness, excessive thoughtfulness, excessive peace, excessive joy....

Once again I opened the refreshing writing of Angela Thomas Guffey in her book, Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. The whole of the book centers on grace, on God's gift of so much more.... Let me leave you with a taste of God's grace from Angela's pen,

"Can you hear this? No matter what your feelings of worth before the Father, He loves you now and forever. Grace is the forgiving, redeeming, and pursuing love of God for us. Grace has nothing to do with the things you do or who you are on this earth. The extravagant gift of God's grace comes to us only because we belong to God.
"That is what makes it so extravagant; we can not earn it, and yet we so desperately need it.
"We cannot make God give us more, because He freely gives us all.
"We cannot fall beyond the reach of God's grace, and we cannot grow past our profound need.
"We cannot understand the mind of God, so we do not completely comprehend a love that is without boundary or limit. We are awed to know that we can turn away or run away, but God is always, and eternally, still in love with us.
"Because of His mercy, we have the privilege of living in this abundance of grace. Some people spend their whole lives striving and searching. others accumulate accolades and things. But we are most blessed, because the divine grace of God has come to us.
"He is here, and by His grace, we can rest.
"He is here, and by His grace, we can live.
"He is here, and by His grace, we are free." (p. 126)

Today, may we flourish in the grace of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ, even as we shower those around us with that same grace.

Whack-a-Mole

2009-06-03T21:11:00.005-05:00

I received an email a couple of weeks ago from a friend requesting a "whack-a-mole." If you've ever been at a child's indoor play area that takes tokens and exchanges them for nearly worthless tickets, you've probably seen a one. After placing a token in the machine, the child uses a mallet to whack moles that randomly pop out of holes. The more moles she whacks, the more tickets she wins. It's a fabulous game, designed to improve hand-eye coordination. Great. So why does my friend want one?

The illustration must have come a couple of years ago after listening to Pastor James MacDonald on the radio (http://www.walkintheword.com/). He explained that the Greek word for our English words "endure" and "submit" is the same--hupotasso, which means to put oneself under. In the context of Hebrews 12:2, Jesus endured or put Himself under the the humiliation of the cross. In the same way, we are called to "run with endurance (putting ourselves under)the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1, emphasized words added). In other words, the Christian life is not about fixing problems, or seeking relief, or choosing convenience; the Christian life is about enduring that which God has chosen for me in this time, at this place.

If endurance is the key to spiritual victory (by the supernatural power of His Spirit), then we are cheating ourselves when we give in. We are cheating ourselves when we choose relief over persistence. We are cheating ourselves when we choose convenience over growth. And, we are cheating fellow believers when we counsel them to give in, to go with "Plan B," to seek relief in the place of discomfort. It was Peter who discouraged Jesus from seeking the cross and was sharply rebuked (Matthew 16:23).

To come alongside another believer in true encouragement is to direct them to Christ, to pray for grace to endure, to challenge them to draw near to God, to remind them of truth when all about them is uncertain. To come alongside a fellow believer in love is to charge them to stand firm, to see it through to the end. So when my friends are struggling through a tunnel of temptation or trial, it is my privilege to encourage them to stay under that difficulty until God releases them. When they stick their heads above the tunnel of trial, seeking relief, it is by the grace of God that another believer "whacks" them and remind them to get back under the sovereign hand of God.

I have learned that it is very difficult to whack-a-mole: I must first examine my own heart and motives and submit myself to God. I have also learned that it takes great humility to be "whacked"--and even more to ask for it. The next time you just don't think you can take it anymore, rather than seek freedom, ask God for the grace to endure and call a friend. A good friend will be armed with the Word of God as she "whacks" you (the mole), back in the tunnel God has personally designed for you as He accomplishes His will and purpose in your life.

Delayed Flight

2009-04-27T11:34:00.002-05:00

The airport is rushed, busy, and slow this morning. It seems that ours wasn't the only flight canceled late last night in Denver. The check-in line filled the entire lobby, with agents at all kiosks.

Before coming back to the airport after a very long night of waiting for a delayed flight, sitting on the runway under a blanket of falling snow, standing in line for new flight arrangements and service vouchers, I did enjoy a leisurely breakfast at the airline's expense. And as I ate, I read, "for you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night...." (1 Thessalonians 5:5-7).

I was reminded of the many people I waited with on and off the runway last night, stood in line with, and smooshed into a taxi with (there were 5 of us, plus the driver!). Some were angry, most were frustrated; our destinations and places of origin varied; we had differing resources at our disposal. But the one thing we had in common was that we were tired. I was not the only one to arrive at a hotel at 4:30a.m. We were people of the night, people with a natural desire and tendency to rest our minds and bodies.

On a spiritual note, without the illuminating work of the Holy Spirit, accessed through faith in Jesus Christ's work on my behalf, I am a person of the night. My vision is impaired, my needs are immediate and demanding, my primary concern is comfort. Under the supernatural empowering of God, by His Spirit, however, I am called to be alert and self-controlled, to see beyond the immediate perceived needs--not just because they exist, but because, by faith, I can move forward with confidence. The context of the passage is the return of the Lord--the comfort and encouragement we can have in His coming, the way in which my life will be lived differently in light of His imminent return.

The next leg of my new flight is imminent, the boarding is nearly in progress. And I am a child of the day, a child with hope, purpose, and a loving Creator who goes before me to offer His vigilance and self-control (mine was depleted many hours ago). To Him be the honor and glory, forever and ever. Amen.

This Temple

2009-04-11T06:27:00.006-05:00

As we entered the holy week, I began a new chapter in my Bible study on bodily stewardship. The opening question directed me to brainstorm about the temple: holy, sacrifices, worship, giving, confession, repentance, purity, forgiveness, house of prayer, the dwelling place of God.

I don't know about you, but the very idea of the temple and the presence of God is awe-inspiring. I can only imagine what it would have been like to go daily for prayer, to offer sacrifices regularly, to live and breathe these acts of worship. Like any awesome thing, however, it became mundane to some, a drudgery to others (see the book of Malachi). But to think of all it represented from our timestream here in the future is moving.

The Bible study didn't stop there. In bringing to mind the temple--what we know and may not know about the intricacies revealed in the Old Testament--the point was being made that, as believers in Jesus Christ, we are His temple. That my body, this physical vessel, has become the dwelling of God Almighty.

It was Monday of this week as I did the study and the picture of Jesus in the temple, during the holy week, came to mind. I began to wonder how that same Jesus must react to dwelling in my body, in my affections, in my mind and will. Is this not the same Jesus who drove out moneychangers and overturned tables? Is He not the one who cried out against the robber's den that should be a house of prayer? It was at this point that I begged Him to remove the moneychangers from my heart--those desires and that selfishness that mock Him daily. To take this heart that is so often a den of robbers and make it a house of prayer. Many times this week I have had to stop and ask Him to do a cleansing work, once again, in this humble temple.

The Scripture continues in Matthew 21. "And the blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them." My prayer: that I may, in all ways and at all times, come to Him blind and lame for His perfect healing. That I may remember His deity and sovereignty and recognize His lordship in this frail vessel He inhabits.

Perhaps He does not dwell in you and you are not His temple. See early posts from this blog for a fuller understanding of God's great love for you.

He is risen.

I Want It!

2009-03-24T20:29:00.005-05:00

I want it. I can taste the wanting. I can envision the having. The having siphons freedom, self-control, dignity, and achievement from my thoughts to reality. It feels like fresh spring air blowing around my face, across my arms, around and through--but never binding.

It is not a bad thing, this thing I want. In fact, it is a good thing. It is a thing that I sincerely believe God wants for me. The end result is pleasing to Him--could be pleasing to Him. But I have not attained it. Cannot attain it. I have talked to God about my desire and asked for His help. I continue to fail.

Then, in reading through Proverbs, I came across these verses:
"The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, But the prayer of the upright is His delight. The way of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, But He loves one who pursues righteousness. " (Proverbs 15:8-9).

In the Old Testament, bringing sacrifices was a good thing. By bringing a sacrifice to the temple, an individual acknowledged his sin and the need for God's atonement. Offering a sacrifice was good. It was also expensive...and public.

Prayer, too, was a good thing. Prayer continues to be an act of dependence on God, but is perhaps "inferior" to sacrifices as it can be done privately, without public confession, and costs very little.

The wicked may act biblically. The upright do the same, but often privately. God's pleasure, then, is not dependent on the action but on the heart attitude. The righteous acts of the wicked are detestable; the righteous acts of the upright are delightful. In God's system, one's spiritual condition is more important than one's spiritual activity. It is the pursuit of righteousness that God blesses, not the pursuit of appearance or participation.

What does this have to do with my want? My want falls far short of seeking God Himself. To seek a specific outcome is to miss the Author. It would be like sharing a meal in a palace and so wanting to have good manners that I fail to respond to the king except in matters of etiquette. What a travesty! I would have missed the purpose, the blessing, and the reward of a priceless time. This week, then, I have been reflecting on what I really want. Am I pursuing righteousness? Am I pursing God Himself? Or something less?

Truckin' Buddies

2009-02-25T14:03:00.003-06:00

I am blessed to be married to an un-procrastinator. This means his bags are packed the day before the actual trip. It means the afternoon chores may be done as early as 1:00pm. Sometimes it means we come home from vacation a day early. In December it meant that he has already calculated taxes--and this year , we bought a semi-truck and grain trailer as a result. The truck and trailer are part of a long-term goal to farm full-time, but it also opened a new venue for spending time together.

As a couple, we have found that one of our greatest challenges is spending time together. Both of us are goal-oriented and our lives are complicated by his business travel schedule. When he gets home, his list of to-do's is extensive. When he gets home, I am used to arranging my own space and time to accomplish what needs to be done.

We went for a drive together in the semi the other day and I learned something. As a mom/wife, I have a list of need-to's--laundry, household cleaning, phone calls, doctor appointments, children's needs, etc.--and a list of want-to's--concerts, conferences, movies, trips, visits, etc. The need-to list is continuous and cyclical. The want-to list is dusty and dingy. Most of the time, spending time with my husband is on the want-to list. The problem is that there are so many need-to's I seldom get to the want-to's. The want-to's I take time for are short bits when I check email, read a magazine or newspaper article, or log onto facebook for a quick pick-me-up before accomplishing the next need-to item.

To create a 3-hour want-to in the middle of the day feels irresponsible, wrong, lazy--and sets me up for falling behind in the need-to division. But what I have realized is that my husband needs that time from me--and I am the one who can make it a reality. To create that space in my mind, I must move him from my want-to list to my need-to list. He is not just another part of me that I can put on a list for "someday." He is not one of those far-off wishes that will wait for 20 years until our children are grown. He is not a luxury that I can afford to go without. He is my husband, my counterpart, my best friend, my life-partner and that puts him at the top of the list!

So for now I pray that God will allow me grace to meet a need-to that I really want to and I pray that I will trust Him to take care of the need-to's that await! On the road again....just can't wait to get on the road again....

Knocking? What Knocking?

2009-01-17T06:49:00.002-06:00

As I walked through the house on my early morning vigil to turn off porch lights, I noticed a seemingly dead car in our driveway. It was 22 degrees below zero, the ground was covered with inches of new snow. The car windows were fogged over, and there was no way to tell if anyone was still in the vehicle or not. I continued my tour until the doorbell rang. There stood a young man, shoulders hunched, head pulled into his turned down collar, gloved hands wringing and clutching each other.

"I saw you looking out the window and didn't want to scare you. My brother's on his way to pick me up."

"Come on in. I was more worried about someone freezing to death sitting out there...."

The fellow, very polite and pleasant, came inside and chatted until his ride arrived.

How strange that earlier that morning, another fellow knocked on my door. As I read through the First Place Bible study, the text directed me to Revelation 3:20 which says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."

It's a verse I've memorized, read many times, even shared with others in presenting the gospel of Jesus. But the question read, "Where is Jesus?" Obviously, He's on the outside of the door--the other side--the side opposite....me. So if Jesus is on one side of the door and I'm on the other, what is between us? The answer came to me like it never had before. Jesus was talking to me, and He was knocking on the other side of my disobedience. My disobedience, my rebellion, even as a believer, keeps Jesus from coming in to fellowship and dine with me. Even then, He was knocking on my door. How many times, in that particular area of my life, have I said, "Just a minute, Jesus," "Could you come back later, please?" "I can't answer the door right now...."

But the reward, the consequence, of opening the door is to share a meal with Jesus! My guess is that He brings the food, the laughter, the open sharing--all I have to do is say yes. Wow, and I would keep my week-old pizza crusts, flat Pepsi, and the desire to have my own way instead! That is a travesty!

I heard the knocking that morning and I'm trying to listen for it throughout the day. Jesus doesn't have to interrupt my life to share it with me--He simply wants to be with me--guiding, directing, providing--every minute.

Today, "Where is Jesus?"

Voila! A Look Behind the Hankie

2009-01-10T06:49:00.010-06:00

Can you remember the last time you were frustrated because someone rejected your idea? Or the last time you thought you were doing a good thing for someone else and they failed to appreciate it? It happens to all of us--some more than others; at some times more than other times.

I was reminded this morning that my response to an interruption is more important than the task itself. What?! you may ask. How can a reaction be more important than the real thing? What does one's response have to do with anything? To answer the question, my response reveals my heart--and it is the heart that matters most.

Our society chose the "Leave it to Beaver," lifestyle as a reaction to two world wars in succession. In an effort to bring healing and normalcy to fighting men and families, a facade of peace was erected in homes and communities across the nation. There was an emphasis on morality and appearance (for more detail, see Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley, p.114). With the church culture came a church appearance. Moral, unselfish behavior was expected. It was the norm. Unfortunately, even with a soft-glove-enforced religion, there was a mask of surrealism.

We have come to believe--especially in the church--that what you see is what you get. We don't want to admit our shortcomings to ourselves or others, so we do our best to keep them hidden--behind the hankie. We pull a rabbit out of our hat--a good work out of a bad situation, a kind word in response to a hurtful one--diverting the eye away from "hat", or heart.

But Jesus said, "...the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. " (Matthew 15:18-19).

So when I interrupt our children who are watching a t.v. program or playing on the computer and their response is an outburst of anger, disputes, dissensions, or factions, I know that their hearts are being ruled by self, not God (Galatians 5:19-20). When I interrupt an activity and they can say, "Okay, Mom," without strife or argument, I know that God is at work in their hearts (Galatians 5:22-23).

The same is true of our service. When my actions or words are unappreciated, unaccepted, or interrupted, my response reveals my heart. If I respond with peace and acceptance, I was not working on my behalf, but the Lord's. The applause of man is secondary to obedience. If, however, my heart responds with ruffled feathers and annoyance, I know that I am more concerned for myself. My heart reveals the working (or absence) of God--regardless of what I "pull out of my hat."

Speaking of interruptions, I have some hungry children chirping for breakfast....

Challenge: As I walk through the day's activities, I want to be more aware of my response to interruptions. Is my reaction God-centered or self-centered?

Need a Song?

2008-12-27T06:05:00.006-06:00

Our children attend public schools, so it has been a treat to have them home on break for the last week. Perhaps it's because we live in the country and have no immediate neighbors or perhaps it's because we limit our children's electronic time daily, in either case we have been blessed by a daughter who spends hours of each day singing hymns. She sits at the piano and plays hymns--new hymns, old hymns, familiar hymns, little-known hymns. She generally sings the alto and tenor lines, working each phrase over and over, leaving us all with bits of a melody that carry us from one "practice session" to the next.

In reading the book of Hosea, God shares His personal, intimate plan for His people. He sees her desire to take the good things He has given her and spend it on that which makes a mockery of Him. He watches as she pursues those things which destroy and draw away life, desiring to reveal Himself to her and lavish her with good things.

Like Gomer, Hosea's wife, many of us seek our own pleasure, using the gifts God has given. He would have us recycle our gifts in ways that reveal Him; too often we use those gifts in selfish, idolatrous ways that distort His character and ways.

But as the story continues, God arranges circumstances to woo His own. Following Paul and Peter's examples, we can apply these same principles to ourselves (Rom. 9:25, 1 Peter 2:10).

God uses all things--even difficult things--to draw us and bless us. He covenants us to Himself (Hosea 2:14-18). This unusual covenant is not a dual agreement in which each side brings something to the table, for God Himself covers the cost of His erring wife/people (v. 18--"I will also make a covenant for them...." emphasis added). God then provides righteousness, justice, lovingkindness, compassion, and faithfulness (v. 19-20).

And what does He desire in return? Simply that I will sing as in the days of my youth (v. 15), that I will know the Lord (v. 20), and acknowledge Him as my God (v. 23). What a natural response to the goodness of God! How could we do otherwise? If He has given all, can I not--will I not--acknowledge Him with songs of praise and thanksgiving?

Thanks to our daughter, I have many songs in my head and heart today. Thanks to this reminder from the Lord through Hosea, my heart is lightened to sing "as in the days of my youth."

Verse: "I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, And I will say to those who were not My people, 'You are My people!' And they will say, 'You are my God!'" Hosea 2:23

Challenge: Turn off your radio, television, ipod, etc. and ask the Lord to put a song in your heart. Be sensitive to the words that come to mind and offer them back as a prayer to the Lord.

Sheath Splitting

2008-12-16T05:49:00.003-06:00

My friend, Emily, had radical surgery this fall. Some of us got to see pictures. When I asked, she gave me the high-school facebook explanation. Later, I asked her dad. "Emily's surgery is very new. In the past, athletes with her condition would push until the sheath that encases the calf muscles split from force. Now they can diagnose the condition before the actual injury and release the muscles surgically."

Wow. Almost more than I needed to know, but fascinating.

As I have been reading the book of Galatians, I am struck by Paul's radical call to faith. It is much like splitting the sheath of our hearts. Not only in the New Testament Jewish population, but even in our churches today, there is a belief that being a good Christian means doing the right things. We belie this with our words: "You catch 'em, Christ cleans em," but even this underscores the "work" of the Christian. Who catches them? You do. So much of the Christian life is about the "worker," that the faith part, the God part, gets short-changed.

Open the sheath of faith, and works expand. When we live by faith, waiting on God's provision, God's guidance, God's revealed purpose, our lives explode with His goodness. We are no longer restrained by our own efforts, our limited perception, our sense of obligation. As we rely on the the work of Christ for us....in us.... we are set free to serve and please Him in a way that brings Him honor and glory.

Passage: "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us--for it is written, "CURSED IS EVERYONE WHO HANGS ON A TREE"-- in order that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we would receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." Galatians 3:13-14 NASB

Thought: Will I deliberately choose to live by faith today instead of self-effort?

The Christmas Control Freak

2008-12-09T05:40:00.006-06:00

Christmas is a frightening time to spend with a control freak. Or maybe it would be better to say that the weeks leading up to Christmas are hell on earth (in a very real sense--strife, anger, isolation, unmet expectations). What is the driving force?

In my many musings about myself and others who are involved in church/Christian activities, Christmas is the apex of the year. It has become the apex not simply because it is the celebration of Christ's birth (although that is the declared "reason for the season"); it is not even because of the many opportunities for service that abound this time of year. Boiled down to its essence, the control and stress issues of Christmas are appearance and performance: me.

Christmas in the church has become--has often been, in my experience--a stage. It is not the fault of the pastor, or the leaders, or the congregation. In fact, it is not a stage in the heart and mind of many who worship there. But in the mind and heart of some it has become the time and place to "put on the Ritz." The cards are sent in great quantities and with flair, the children are decked out in holiday ribbons and polished shoes, the neighbors and teachers and bus drivers are lauded with wondrous, beautiful confections.

Conflict is rife as there are glitches in the mailing process, children don't do as they're told (or expected), Christmas cookies flop, and time runs short. Frustration mounts. Anger hovers just below the surface. And, as my loving husband would comment, "Why?... Why are you doing this?"

My initial response is, "because it's part of Christmas, there are expectations, it just has to be done." The (often-hidden) heart response is, "because my reputation is on the line, how would it look if I didn't _______?!" And this is the center of heart worship: my reputation, if I....

When will we understand that "without faith it is impossible to please Him" (Hebrews 11:6)? God doesn't care how wonderfully or completely or beautifully I perform. He does not hold me to a standard of doing. That's why Jesus came--because our doing was not enough. There is no way to please God by keeping the law, by keeping more than the law. We cannot do enough, well enough, to qualify.

Loving, serving, and pleasing God is all about who He is. It is coming by faith and depending on Him for the doing. My control freakish attitude changes when I begin to pray, "Lord, if it is Your will, help me express gratitude to those who serve our family throughout the year." "Lord how would You desire me to serve?" "God, give me the wisdom to order my day according to Your priorities, in loving service to my family first and foremost."

When I walk through the Christmas season by faith, there is room for human failure. There is grace for myself and others--because it's not about me anymore. It's not about appearance or pride or glitz or show. It's about dependence. And in that dependence on God, my focus changes from doing to being--being loving, kind, patient, joyful, peaceful, self-controlled, good, and gentle. In essence, celebrating Christmas by faith. This is the perfect Christmas. This is the gift the Christ child desires. What gift will I give today? When the reins of life are in my hand, the cart is lost. When the reins are in the hand of the Master, the destination is reached.

Whether you yourself or someone you love is a Christmas control freak, may you find yourself depending on a loving heavenly Father as you enjoy the festivities of Christ's birth.

God's Gifted and Talented

2008-11-23T06:41:00.003-06:00

It's Sunday morning and many believers will be attending church today. There will be teaching, special music, and countless opportunities to interact. In the book of Acts, many believers not only met in homes, but also attended the synagogue or temple on the Sabbath. One of these believers was Apollos.

Apollos must have been an incredibly gifted individual. Acts describes him as "an eloquent man," "mighty in the Scriptures," "speaking and teaching accurately the things concerning Jesus." When Apollos spoke, people listened. God had equipped and enabled him to engage the Jewish population (Acts 18:28).

But the notable part of his ministry wasn't his teaching. The most memorable part of his ministry was his service. He felt called go to a new location "and when he had arrived, he greatly helped those who had believed through grace" (Acts 18:27). God put him where He did, gifted him as He had to serve, to help, to minister to the needs of those who had believed.

My goal, my purpose, cannot be to sharpen my spiritual gift(s) or to be passionate about excelling in giftedness. My drive and passion, when it is Christ-centered, is to serve the Body of Christ in any and every way possible and to be His instrument in introducing Christ to the world.

To be Christlike is not to be efficient or specialized. To be Christlike is to be touchable, to be hungry, tired, and desperately needy for the Father. To be Christlike is to serve others when no one is looking, to love others when no one is loving me. To be Christlike is to be content in the Father's purpose and provision; "to greatly help those who have believed through grace."

Application: As I minister to those God put in my path today will they see Christ or will they see me?

Compost and the Chicken Pot

2008-11-22T16:12:00.009-06:00

One of the most commonly used receptacles in our house is the infamous "chicken pot." It's the small aluminum stock pot that sits on our kitchen counter collecting vegetable peelings, apple cores, etc. When the pot is full, the child who has that chore for the day takes it outside and dumps its contents onto the compost pile--where our free-range chickens generally clean it up. Needless to say, we have very little real compost by the time the chickens are done.

This pot was a loving gift from Aunt Helen who picked it up at an auction in the Midwest. We think of her fondly often, due to our constant use of the chicken pot.

The apostle Paul speaks of such a pot in 2 Timothy when he writes, "Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor." Paul goes on to compare believers to these vessels. "Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work."

Our chicken pot has to be empty to be useful. At times it nearly overflows--and there simply isn't room to put anything more in. It has to be emptied first. We are the same. In order for us to be useful to the Master, we must be empty first. We must take time to empty and wash out that which is hindering our usefulness.

It is also interesting to note that the very word, compost, has overtones of humility. It has been noted that "humus," decayed organic matter, shares the same root word as "humility." To be fully used of God is to be empty of self, to be broken down, decomposed, full of those elements that are useful in aiding the growth others.

Hmmm... the chicken pot. It would behoove each of us to stop and reflect from time to time, "Is my life a vessel of usefulness to the Master, a fond gift, empty of self, useful for building others up according to their need?" What kind of pot am I, anyway?